Suspect I know the answer..

[Treatedlikeamaid]

Dh all busy and stressed with work. Hates buying gifts. Usually we agree to go to the sales, (which I loathe as we have to comb the shop till he finds stuff that’s a bargain and insists on buying it even if I say kids won’t wear it.
but kids like to see us get gifts. I bought nice pjs and slippers figuring I could wer them to his parents. When I told him I’d bought them to save him the trouble he went mad, made a big deal about £50. And trouble with me is I never go to the sales.
I still got him football membership and was pleased I’d finally got something he’d like. He was pleased but asked if it was a season ticket..Er, no! And when I said thanks for the pjs he just grunted. Am I being controlling? I thought I was doing him a favour but didn’t discuss it first. Reading various mn threads, I’m questioning why he’d get so upset over 50 pjs ( and free slippers!) it’s not like I buy anything much. He’s being a bit of a grump at the mo.
Feeling really ill for last two days and it’s like he’s cross with me for not doin the washing. He went shopping after issuing orders to tidy up ( and when he came in said what’s for tea- I said I didn’t know when he’d be home. Also thinking wtf? He can make dinner. He could even bring me a drink instead of making one just for himself. Grrr.oh and shopping was miserable on his own. ( kids didn’t want to go) am I right in thinking he’s acting up like a spoilt child?
Sure this is obvious to all. Personally beginning to think he actually is a twunt.

And no he didn’t clear the kitchen.last night or tonight.

I only got halfway through that and thought LTB. I think he's grumpy about the PJs because he didn't choose them, sort of controlling. And issuing orders about what you should be doing? I left a bloke like that and don't regret it.

You usually go to the sales but you spent £50 on a pair of pyjamas instead? Then you bought him a gift too, but he was expecting f to go to the sales?

What's the idea behind the football membership what does it actually do? £50 on pyjamas is fine if you can afford it, but to but your own present then tell him you've bought for yourself is a bit mean and not really in the spirit of things. All the rest of it is misogyny at its finest from him.

Thanks guys. He spent over a grand on computer for 11 year old even though we both agree ds needs to cut back. Guess that’s why I’m miffed. Sorry for long post!

That’s what I wondered- if I’m wrong to have bought my own gift, which agreed isn’t very Christmassy. Membership apparently means you stand a better chance of getting tickets. Wouldn’t have told him about pjs except they were in the car when he was being cross.

😆 thanks weary! Well needed kick up the. Guess am just tired- I seem to have come under a lot of attacks lately. Losing judgement!

You're right, he is a twunt. And a miserable git to boot.

He's not related to Victor Meldrew is he?

😀 ha! It’s all about him and he’s a grumpy bugger ...maybe he’s victors long lost brother
Thanks for the cheer up x

Your partner is a controlling jerk.
You were smart to save yourself the misery of shopping with him. Obviously he would resent it and punish you for it because he is a controlling jerk.

It sounds like a lack of communication and a lack of understanding. If you are ill then why is he expecting you to do stuff?

Doe she assume it is your job to tidy up and to cook? Do you both work?

I think that he seems to be making some assumptions here about what you will do.

In terms of spending money, he has spent 1K on your son and is cross you spent 50 quid on yourself? I think it is better for you to agree what you will do. For example tell him what you would like for a present, will he get it or will you? What does he want? If he wants money to go and by himself something in the sales, fine, but if you don't want to go then you could just tell him, you won't be going.

Sometimes we do need to compromise but I'd say that you need a chat to make sure you are on the same page. Sounds like at the moment, you are not.

Thanks ladies. Talking is a good idea..
Just tired, had a killer bug and all he can do is moan about the state of the house. He’s tidied the kitchen moaned About the washing and the rest of the house and gone back up to his room. He opens cupboards and says,‘what’s this doing here’ and ohoh, he found my leftover glass of Xmas cheer. Very ashamed. From Xmas eve - he’d gone out with mates. So I did too, for an hour and drank enough to think it was a good idea to have a glass when I got in. Oops.
Just feel like I’m in the wrong for getting a bug, it’s impossible to keep the house clean when we are all messy. He will sleep on a bare mattress rather than make his bed. Won’t bring dirty plates into kitchen, refuses to pick up towels. Am sure he will have a different viewpoint of how I’m lazy and rubbish. Don’t know what’s going on but am beginning to struggle a wee bit . Ah well! Sorry for moan😀getting a grip, and a coffee x thanks for the advice.

Do you sleep in separate beds/rooms?
It seems to me it's ok for him to do things but not you. What's wrong with pyjamas or a night cap? Shouldn't be a secret or a big deal.

Oh bugger, hes bought a Barbour jumper must have been in the sales, and I’ve just shrunk it. Who knew it was in with the tee shirts? Oh crap. I really am shite ☹️

You aren't shite. We all make mistakes.

You're scared of his reactions?

Yup seperate rooms. He says I snore. He has the radio on as he can’t sleep, it’s just easier and nicer to have my own space . This isn’t actually sounding very good.

Is this jumper wool? Don't let it dry yet. Put it in a bowl of blood warm water with a small splash of conditioner. Let it relax and soak. An hour or so. Place it on a clean draining board and gently, gently stretch it to size and shape. Dry flat. I don't know where you would dry it flat, maybe a utility room on top the tumble...?

Omg leave the prick and stop putting yourself down ffs

Ha! Thanks willow, Will try that. Thanks coca. Am being a wimp.
He’s been out for long walk with a mate and It’s like he’s remembered how to behave. Very confused, and relieved!

Do you work op? Or is he the sole earner. Seems a disparity here where he expects a season ticket and gets fucked off about your pyjamas.

And what's the thing about him finding your booze? That just seems odd. Why are you hiding alcohol?

This doesn't sound good OP despite your jokey attempts at explaining away his behaviours (said with compassion).

What are you going to do?

I know it's not the point of the thread, but I couldn't get past £50 for PJs