Ah, yes. Lots to think about. Glad you are all there, need a hand hold.
I was Feeling fluey,. The house is a mess, and I STUPIDLY asked again, if he could pick up the shower mat to dry. Well he’s immediately on the attack, and f- ing at me. my rooms a mess etcc. I( it is! piles of ironing etc)don’t know if I did the right thing but I knew dd could hear so I went back in and calmly said, please don’t swear at me, which he denied he’d done and before I know it we are in a stupid tit for tat argument. It turns out he’s telling me he doesn’t expect me to come out of nowhere and be grumpy when he’s held the fort together ( Er..gone shopping day 1 and with mate day 2. Kids 13 ) while I’ve been poorly and Made dinner tonight. So of course I apologised , had t realised I’d sounded so off.but it turns out hes cross because he shouldn’t have to do this on his holiday. So I kept calm and apologised. He was all lovely to the kids ( he usually gets them to go to him to say goodnight). He usually doesn’t say goodnight to me, so I went and said - for dds benefit, that we shouldn’t end the day on a bad note. Cue more blaming So just said sorry, so I could escape.
It’s impossible to have a rational discussion- he’ll just attack and say,’well, you...’ like a child.
I know he’s stressed about stuff at work that he can’t let go of. a wonderful lady that I met at a weekend away ( that he didn’t want me going on) has offered to help him.Irony!
Tried to talk to dd and said, ‘ I’m sorry you had to hear that’ and she said,‘I’m used to it’ but wouldn’t talk further.
The kids disappear and dd seems a bit wary. I know she asked the school for counselling after he called me a bitch and she said, that’s abuse daddy, we did it at school.
I feel as if theres always stuff I haven’t done and I’m always a disappointment.And there is just so much to do.
Agh! But then I get all muddled and think he’s right, I am rubbish at housework.
I work part time, but I think he’s never forgiven me for not getting a career back after kids - and wasnt at all pleased at this shop job.
I’m actually seeing a counsellor about all this. It’s thanks to her that I’ve got the shop job.- she encouraged me even when he was saying it wasn’t worth it, I was lying to myself because it’s easier than finding a proper job.
I’m hiding booze because he’s bloody hard to live with when he starts, and it’s depressing - he seems to spend the weekends watching tv in his room or may go out with a mate. I feel like I’m the one trying to keep the kids loved.
He’ll be ok, just miserable for so long, but I’ve felt it all simmering for the weeks before Xmas.
I’m hiding booze because he’s bloody hard to live with when he starts, and it’s depressing - he seems to spend the weekends watching tv in his room or may go out with a mate. I feel like I’m the one trying to keep the kids loved.
I’m hiding booze because he’s bloody hard to live with when he starts, and it’s depressing - he seems to spend the weekends watching tv in his room or may go out with a mate. I feel like I’m the one trying to keep the kids loved.
Am hiding booze because he’s bloody difficult to live with, always moaning and I know I’m trying to block it out, but that Is now changed, it’s not helping At All, and I’m not impressed with myself.
It sounds crap when I write it out ( without his viewpoint!) so am sure I’ve Misunderstood stuff.
Exhausting. Sorry, tired and confused, but beginning to notice it seems to be getting more frequent as my confidence grows a bit - and then I doubt if I’m supposed to have confidence.
This is not good, is it.