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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Weed - do I have a stick up my arse?

86 replies

LilouBlue · 27/12/2019 19:42

My neighbour is a big weed smoker. Always outside smoking, presumably so his house doesn't get smoky but it's permeating into mine! On one hand, it doesn't make him the scum of the earth, there are far worse things he could be doing, and he's very friendly, we always exchange pleasantries whenever I go in or out, as he's always out there! But on the other hand, he has kids (maybe 6 and 9 ish?) and I can't help thinking it's not great for their dad to be constantly smoking drugs around them. I have children too and I'm not hugely happy about it being around them either.

I know plenty of people do it, and as I say it's not the worst crime in the world, but it makes me sort of uncomfortable. I'm not really sure I would do anything about it in any case as I'd be worried of the repurcussions. I know the police don't bother with personal use, but does children being involved change anything? He'd probably know it was me who reported him...

Tbh I don't really know what I'm asking. Would it bother you, I guess?

OP posts:

RebeccaCloud9 · 27/12/2019 21:49

Hahaha that's how I read it too - umm no, you don't need to do it like that 😂😂

Somanysocks · 27/12/2019 21:51

Also want to know what a tweaker is.

BerwickLad · 27/12/2019 21:53

I'm thinking like a twerker but less energetic??!

FruitcakeOfHate · 27/12/2019 21:53

Tweakers are speed users/meth amphetamine. They stay up making huge noise all night.

Somanysocks · 27/12/2019 21:53

Somanysocks · 27/12/2019 21:55

HotSauceCommittee · 27/12/2019 22:02

I would say that there is a safeguarding issue doing it around children. To normalise it by smoking it around a 6 and 9 year old? No.
And I say that as someone who likes as toke right before bed after my much older children are in bed.

Spacebowlisback · 27/12/2019 22:04

@FruitcakeOfHate I thought tweakers were curtain twitchers! I am so out of the loop. I’ve had nice neighbours too long.

maras2 · 27/12/2019 22:13

fifawidow
Don't be an idiot.
My next door neighbours would never know when I have a can of beer or a vodka and tonic.
I on the other hand know as soon as they light a joint as skunk permeates all walls, doors and windows.and it fucking stinks. not envy.

Nancydrawn · 27/12/2019 22:21

Ugh, tweakers are the worst. Probably my least favourite drug adicts (until you get to really hardcore weirdness like angel dust).

As for pot, it's bad manners to let your habits impact your neighbours. This would be true if he were a drunk who had loud fights and poured beer into his yard to turn sour; it would be true if he were a fitness fanatic who did loud outdoor calisthenics.

Not criminal, but very rude. Perhaps he doesn't know you can smell it? Probably noseblind.

BerwickLad · 27/12/2019 22:23

Tbf it's not much of a slogan is it?

Weed: makes you less of an arsehole than methamphetamine.

I mean, I don't think the Marlboro Man campaign is in any danger.

MintyMabel · 27/12/2019 22:29

What? When you’re in charge of kids?

Apparently. I’ve lost count of the number of times the “debate” has been had on MN, but apparently it’s entirely acceptable for people in charge of children to have a bottle of wine of an evening and for there not to be a sober adult in the house. I’d love to see the reaction if a childminder didn’t it.

Spacebowlisback · 27/12/2019 22:31

Yeah I wouldn’t want to meet either of them coming the other way on the road to A&E.

Original poster

LilouBlue · 27/12/2019 22:32

Ha, definitely not going to stick it up my arse 😁 forgot to mention I chose that title as my ex H said that about me when I wouldn't take our new baby round to his relative's house when they happily smoked weed in their house. He said similar to another poster actually, that I'm judging them and pretending it's about the smell/secondhand smoke. It really genuinely is the smell, it's not nice at all!

I'm not going to say anything to him. There's nowhere else he can go (can't draw a diagram but imagine a U shape of houses and flats, with the empty space in the middle being a shared yard and also car parking) and good neighbourly relations are more important to me than an irritating smell.

One of his children goes to the same school as mine though, I could mention it to them...?

OP posts:

Aardvarkitsabloodyaardvark · 27/12/2019 22:33

I have no problem with those that wish to smoke it.
However the smell is horrendous. In Boots earlier looking at sale stuff and a young couple next to me stank of it.

Spacebowlisback · 27/12/2019 22:34

Stuff that smell repellent smells that way for a reason. I’m not convinced we still know how damaging it can be.

mediumbrownmug · 27/12/2019 22:37

YANBU to not want your house to smell like weed. I’m a cancer survivor and very particular about potentially toxic substances/fumes/smoke/etc. My risk is high for other types of cancer now, and I don’t fancy raising it higher because of other people’s life choices. I’ll decide for myself what I want to allow. I’d report him for it, as not smoking weed wont hurt him and it’s not great for his kids or me.

ktjerl · 27/12/2019 22:38

@ElbasAbsentPenis me too!

WorraLiberty · 27/12/2019 22:39

One of his children goes to the same school as mine though, I could mention it to them...?

Why would you expect the school to get involved if you're not going to mention it to your neighbour?

Fifawidow · 27/12/2019 22:39

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Northernsoullover · 27/12/2019 22:39

It could actually be deemed a statutory nuisance for the person who asked whether you could ask environmental health to visit.

Singinginshower · 27/12/2019 22:42

I've known Social Services take cannabis use very seriously where there are children in the home

BillywigSting · 27/12/2019 22:47

As a child of a weed smoking parent yanbu.

It doesn't make them violent or aggressive no but it can most definitely make them neglectful, from my personal experience.

It's not fun having to fend for yourself at 8 years old because your parent is too baked to feed you and you are hungry. Or being stuck in the house all day on a weekend when you really want to ride your bike in the park but they are too stoned to get off the couch.

I absolutely judge parents who get high when they are in charge of children (do what you like when you're not, just like alcohol imo)

WorraLiberty · 27/12/2019 22:49

I've known Social Services take cannabis use very seriously where there are children in the home

A parent smoking a joint in the garden away from the kids wouldn't raise any interest from SS here. Perhaps it's an area thing?

They're far too overstretched in my area.

doodoodoodoodoolittlelulu · 27/12/2019 22:55

Weed use during the day when you're in charge of kids should be taken as seriously as being drunk in charge of kids during the day. It just happens to be an additional fact that cannabis is illegal.
Why use something that's going to alter your mental state and affect your ability to care for children during the time you are full on responsible for them?
It's a bit different to having a drink or joint at night. Make that decision wisely if there is another adult in the house who is not under any other influence so that they can take charge if something unforeseen happens.
If there is another responsible adult available during the day, don't expose the kids to it.
A selfish choice is that exactly.

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