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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Weed - do I have a stick up my arse?

86 replies

LilouBlue · 27/12/2019 19:42

My neighbour is a big weed smoker. Always outside smoking, presumably so his house doesn't get smoky but it's permeating into mine! On one hand, it doesn't make him the scum of the earth, there are far worse things he could be doing, and he's very friendly, we always exchange pleasantries whenever I go in or out, as he's always out there! But on the other hand, he has kids (maybe 6 and 9 ish?) and I can't help thinking it's not great for their dad to be constantly smoking drugs around them. I have children too and I'm not hugely happy about it being around them either.

I know plenty of people do it, and as I say it's not the worst crime in the world, but it makes me sort of uncomfortable. I'm not really sure I would do anything about it in any case as I'd be worried of the repurcussions. I know the police don't bother with personal use, but does children being involved change anything? He'd probably know it was me who reported him...

Tbh I don't really know what I'm asking. Would it bother you, I guess?

OP posts:

MintyMabel · 27/12/2019 21:17

Bothered by the smell = not a stick up the arse

Pretending it’s the smell when you are actually just judging him for smoking weed when he has kids = stick up the arse.

DoOneAlready · 27/12/2019 21:17

What does weed actually smell like? I often smell something that smells a bit like beer gone sour and wonder if that is it?

Sofast · 27/12/2019 21:17

It's a vile habit. Gross for parents to smoke it

Spacebowlisback · 27/12/2019 21:18

Why is there nothing wrong with a parent smoking weed when they have responsibility for taking care of their children? I know from experience I was definitely not in a fit state to parent or respond to an emergency when I smoked it. How is it different to being drunk?

MintyMabel · 27/12/2019 21:19

How is it different to being drunk?

Which is generally considered ok, apparently.

npowerarebastards · 27/12/2019 21:19

Smoking illegal drugs around young children is disgusting - end of story.

Spacebowlisback · 27/12/2019 21:20

What? When you’re in charge of kids?

chipsandgin · 27/12/2019 21:20

I read it as ‘weed, do I stick it up my arse’ too! I just thought it takes all sorts..

WorraLiberty · 27/12/2019 21:21

Space I know loads of regular smokers who it doesn't affect much at all, other than to make them feel a bit more chilled? Kind of like having a glass of wine.

Perhaps it depends on the strength?

raspberryk · 27/12/2019 21:22

Yabu

Evilmorty · 27/12/2019 21:22

I live in north London, generally every time you smell it there will be a mashed person shuffling down the street or attempting to drive very slowly so as not to look suspicious. I wouldn’t want any of them to be in charge of a child.

LittleReindeer · 27/12/2019 21:23

How is it different to being drunk?
Because you can get completely pissed sitting right next to me and it doesn’t affect me at all. In comparison second hand smoke can kill.

Spacebowlisback · 27/12/2019 21:26

I’m not defending it @Reindeer. I mean in terms of parental responsibility. Even if the kids are asleep, how is it okay to be stoned? I know I wouldn’t have a clue what was going on.

Spacebowlisback · 27/12/2019 21:27

Yeah maybe @WorraLiberty. And to be fair, I’ve been known to enter into a giggling fit after a large bag of skittles so...

TotorosNeighbour · 27/12/2019 21:27

My NDN smokes inside their house and the stench creeps in through the boards..I haven't been able to shut my windows for two days, I am freezing, I have a 2yo who will need to sleep in the spare room, I am also down with the flu. Really at the end of my tether, have knocked three times and asked them to do something about it but no luck. Any advice welcome

BerwickLad · 27/12/2019 21:29

I do think it's interesting how there is currently a twenty page thread on here about how terrible a person's father is for wanting a wee puff on a tobacco pipe during the two nights a year he spends at her house and how he has prioritised evil smoking over love of his own family and therefore should be cast to the outer darkness, vs this situation where apparently it's fine and dandy for a neighbour to get stoned around his kids and in doing so stink out the homes adjacent to him and everyone needs to chill out.

Yanbu OP. Stoners are boring smelly fuckers and the one next door to you clearly doesn't give a shit about his children or any of the other people around him. Tbh the sooner it's legalised and controlled the better as hopefully that will mean the current blind eye policy will bite the dust and people will only be able to do it in controlled environments.

IdiotInDisguise · 27/12/2019 21:30

Have you mentioned you can smell it from your door? They may think you have no clue or are not affected.

FruitcakeOfHate · 27/12/2019 21:33

Our neighbour does this and the smell permeates but I'd much rather put up with weed than drinkers or tweakers. Drinkers tend to be loud and anti-social and oh, the fucking music and parties. Ditto tweakers, who stay up all night.

NaviSprite · 27/12/2019 21:35

YANBU to dislike the smell, it can be pretty rank depending on the strain they’re buying.

As for being around children after smoking it, well it’s not brilliant is it? I know a couple who are parents and they indulge in smoking weed in the evenings to relax, they used to be much heavier users but toned it down to an amount that helps them unwind without getting to the ‘I’m stoned let’s raid the fridge then pass out’ stage. But it’s always after they’ve made sure the children are asleep for the night, never enough to seriously affect their judgement so I can’t find it in me to judge them IYSWIM.

I also know of a fair few other parents (my own included back in the day) who would get so pissed they can barely function - or even go just past the point of tipsy and their judgment goes out of the window, but they don’t see an issue with their consumption because alcohol is legal, it makes my mind boggle!

Mymycherrypie · 27/12/2019 21:38

I wonder if you can report him to environmental health, it’s only the same as someone having something rotten in their house. Our neighbor reported someone’s rubbish bin as it stunk and the council did come out (dead fox)

Somanysocks · 27/12/2019 21:38

I have only recently realised what the smell is since it was pointed out to me, my neighbour smokes it in the garden and it's foul.

I think it smells of dirty unwashed old men.

missyB1 · 27/12/2019 21:39

Why do people insist on comparing weed to alcohol? Does it have to be either/or? And at least alcohol doesn’t have a second hand affect like fags and weed. Passive smoking is well known about.
And what the heck is a “tweaker”??

BerwickLad · 27/12/2019 21:41

Re smoking weed around children, has anyone ever done any studies on this? Only as I understand it second hand tobacco is considered to be harmful and even third hand tobacco is bad also. Is weed the same? Genuine question, as I can't see the difference but no one seems to be fussed if people are toking in a house where children are, but smoking fags in the house is regarded as unacceptable.

Spacebowlisback · 27/12/2019 21:47

@BerwickLad It’s often mixed with tobacco anyway... and if it’s not, given the recent studies into effects on smokers and mental health (chicken, egg - I know) I certainly wouldn’t think it’s doing them any good. At best.

Somanysocks · 27/12/2019 21:47

I would prefer a drinker as I wouldn't be able to smell that.

My ndn who smokes also has violent tantrums so it clearly doesn't keep him calm.

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