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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Teenagers and new year's eve house parties... what to expect?

43 replies

MargieMo · 27/12/2019 19:41

Honestly, I don't think anyone can answer this, since it is so situation specific. But this is somewhat new to me, so any experience from others might be helpful.

DS is 16 and mostly hangs out with two other boys from school, long term friends. In recent years they've always went to each others houses for NYE, play computer games, hang out, etc.

This year they've all been invited to a house party, boy from the same school. I don't know the boy's parent(s), but know the house he lives in (large country house probably great for a party!) about 12 miles away.

Tomorrow I'm going to phone the parents, and confirm that he really has been invited, get times, more details, etc.

Any experiences of new year house parties with mid-teens?

OP posts:

littlepaddypaws · 27/12/2019 19:43

16 would be okay, phone parents, arrange transport if needed.

StoorieHoose · 27/12/2019 19:43

He's 16 and you are phoning the other parents to see if there is a house party?

Ihavethefinalsleigh · 27/12/2019 19:44

I once took my son to a party, which was to be a sleep over as well. I never dropped him off. My mum's radar picked up so many worries, that I just couldn't leave him. Luckily my son agreed with me.

There were tons of kids turning up and the parents weren't there. What a nightmare!

gamerwidow · 27/12/2019 19:48

My experience of teenage parties with no parents is that it will be carnage.
If the parents are there and keeping an eye out though then generally they get less out of hand but it depends on if drinking will be allowed and how much.

HelloDulling · 27/12/2019 19:48

Make sure he knows that he can ring at any time and you will collect him; that you would rather pick him up even if drunk etc.

ohprettybaby · 27/12/2019 19:50

16- year olds? Expect sex and drugs, dancing and vommiting.

DeadButDelicious · 27/12/2019 19:51

Supervised is one thing. Unsupervised is another thing entirely. The teenagers who lived next door to us used to have regular unsupervised house-parties and it was, as a PP put it, carnage.

NewName73 · 27/12/2019 19:53

Expect vodka & vomiting.

And I would definitely check with the host's parents that they will be there.

Ginseng1 · 27/12/2019 20:03

Def check with the hosts parents @ 16 I'd be still doing this don't care if that's seems overprotective! As others said if unsupervised =carnage, if supervised ie parent keeping an eye then some level of OK I'd say!

Cillmantain · 27/12/2019 20:03

Expect lots of alcohol and trouble

BlaueLagune · 27/12/2019 20:04

He's 16 and you are phoning the other parents to see if there is a house party

I definitely would. Firstly I'd want to know my son hadn't got the wrong end of the stick (and it was safe for him to go there) and secondly it gives the parents a heads-up if they are planning to be out and didn't know their offspring plan to invite a lot of teens around to potentially trash the place.

Willow2017 · 27/12/2019 20:04

Doesn't matter if it's supervised some parents couldn't care less. Mine went to a party where the kids were encouraged to drink by the older 'kids' in the family while the adults stood by laughing, then when one oy got pretty drunk quickly they sent my son to take him (my son doesn't drink alcohol he hates it) outside walking around the streets till he sobered up a bit as they didn't want him throwing up indoors!
My son left early as they never let up trying to force him to drink and hasn't ever been back.
My younger son has been invited to a party at a friends and I am dreading it tbh. I know he is sensible but I will be on tenterhooks till I go collect him.

georgialondon · 27/12/2019 20:04

Drugs, sex, alcohol, carnage. The standard teenage party stuff obviously. What else would you expect?

Mumdiva99 · 27/12/2019 20:07

I would be mortified if my mum had called ahead at 16.....however, as a parent I think you are doing the right thing. Knowing what I got up to makes it all seem worse....However, I'm on now. As long as he knows you will collect him whatever. Then you might just have to let him go. Better in a house than hanging around the streets. And give him condoms as he leaves!! A good dose of parental embarrassment to remind him you were young once!

exexpat · 27/12/2019 20:07

If parents are definitely going to be there, then it probably shouldn't get too out of hand. If not there, and it is a big house, big party with friends you don't know, then I would be more wary.

DD is 17 and has had several parties at home since she turned 16/finished GCSEs. I have been in the house for all of them; mostly out of the way but have wandered through occasionally to check everything was OK.

She and her friends are mostly sensible but yes, there will almost certainly be vodka and vomiting; also snogging and possibly pot smoking. I turn a blind eye to all of those but would not be happy with any sign of stronger drugs or NO2. Are you collecting?

DonPablo · 27/12/2019 20:08

Thinking back to the parties when I was at that age, sex, drugs, vodka, carnage, vomit.

Now that I have a 15 yo ds, I'm hopeful it's cups of tea and video games. We'll, maybe not hopeful, just prepared to kid myself!

StoorieHoose · 27/12/2019 20:11

it gives the parents a heads-up if they are planning to be out and didn't know their offspring plan to invite a lot of teens around to potentially trash the place

And therefore her son would be known as the one who "grassed" them up to their parents? Nah I think would just leave out the phoning of the parents and let her son know to phone her if he needed an escape route drunk or not

TheHumansAreDefinitelyDead · 27/12/2019 20:15

It sounds like the parents will be in?

It will be messy, but it also will be fun

MissRabbitNeedsAHoliday · 27/12/2019 20:15

16- year olds? Expect sex and drugs, dancing and vommiting.

Yep have to say I agree with this, sorry op probably not what you want to hear but that was my experience of 16 year old parties.

Drum2018 · 27/12/2019 20:15

I'd also want to confirm with the parents and I wouldn't be asking your Ds for their number as he could give the number of another friend who could pretend to be the parent Your Ds will probably get drunk, puke and promise never to drink again ... until the next party.

lljkk · 27/12/2019 20:15

The only parents I know who did this (16yos) made them all stay in the garden in their own tents. About 400 yards to nearest other residence. There was falling out the next morning (rows between those who went about loutish drunken behaviour).

SinkGirl · 27/12/2019 20:16

When I was about that age, I went to a party at a massive house in the country (son of a local business owner, the place was ridiculous). Honestly I’ve never seen carnage like it in my life. There was what I thought was a car alarm going off most of the night but was actually a hammered guy passing out and head butting his car horn repeatedly. Lots of alcohol, quite a lot of drugs.

I remember my sister having her 16th at our house, it got gatecrashed by a load of strangers and then someone put lit fireworks through the letterbox...

Don’t think I ever went to one that wasn’t like this to be honest!

ThatsMySantaHisBeardIsSoFluffy · 27/12/2019 20:18

My first thought - carnage - has already been mentioned a few times! In your shoes I'd be doing exactly what you're planning to do.

TheHumansAreDefinitelyDead · 27/12/2019 20:20

It does seem to be the done thing now to just drop kids of without any questions

Parents are so scared to patent a bit...

So a 16yr old girl in our village had a massive party, she had invited 10 friends but 50-100 turned up. Parents were out, she panicked and called her uncle who lives a few streets away. He bollocked everyone into leaving.

All these teens then roamed the village all night, none called their parents a they did not want to explain why they needed early picking up.

It was a cold boring night for them.

Parents AND teens were fools imo in this scenario

But anyway, yes, parents are afraid to check as it hurts their kids' cool points

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 27/12/2019 20:27

I talked my parents into going out and letting me have a NYE party when I was 15. It was only us girls so there wasn’t any sex, but there was alcohol (I still gag at the smell of Bacardi!) and vomiting.

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