Teenagers and new year's eve house parties... what to expect?

[MargieMo]

Honestly, I don't think anyone can answer this, since it is so situation specific. But this is somewhat new to me, so any experience from others might be helpful.

DS is 16 and mostly hangs out with two other boys from school, long term friends. In recent years they've always went to each others houses for NYE, play computer games, hang out, etc.

This year they've all been invited to a house party, boy from the same school. I don't know the boy's parent(s), but know the house he lives in (large country house probably great for a party!) about 12 miles away.

Tomorrow I'm going to phone the parents, and confirm that he really has been invited, get times, more details, etc.

Any experiences of new year house parties with mid-teens?

I guess some of my concern is as a result of thinking back to myself at that age. I went to a NY party with my older sister and her BF, ended up talking/hanging with a different group of people, drinking some shorts, kissing (and fingered ) by a drunk boy I barely knew (he is a GP in the nearby town now I recently discovered!). The night was good fun, but could have turned out really badly too.

Thanks for the replies. It's very clear and it leaves me in no doubt as to what to expect!!

I contacted the mother of the boy hosting the partner (I knew her, but we'd never really spoken much). My DS and friends invitation is genuine. The party is not in the main house, but in a "studio" on the property. The mother was great, in that she explained they had requested no alcohol, but realistically she won't be around the whole time to police it.

I've kindly been invited to hang out at their house for the duration of the party if I want (but that won't be possible since I have NYE visitors).

In summary, I'll drop him there, and collect him afterwards, hoping for the best in between!!!

My Dd16 had a small party/sleepover at the end of term with 10 friends.

There was alcohol and two adults in the house.

I pre-warned Dd that anyone being sick was her problem to deal with and anyone excessively drunk would have to be collected by a parent.

I was surprised and impressed with how they did deal with the one friend who was sick. They took turns looking after her, cleaned her up ( twice) and were responsible.

What to expect?

Nothing good
Alcohol, vomiting, sex - definitely.
Drugs and an ambulance - probably.

It will also depend on the gender mix, and the number of teenagers there. With a small number of people things will be more controlled, I'd expect.

Regardless, with adults not directly present you can be 100% sure about drinking and sex (whether full sexual intercourse or not).

parents are afraid to check as it hurts their kids' cool points

Don't care about cool points. It's not about grassing the friend up (though I accept that's a side effect), I want to know where ds is and that he is actually invited and something is happening.

Next year DH and I are invited to a wedding, ds isn't, and we'll have to leave him overnight on his own for the first time. It is a Sunday night so hopefully he won't have the bright idea to have a party without telling us.

That (your update) sounds more hopeful @margie

Madness, vomitting is on every post so normal! Some one one day will inhale vomit and die

Oh shit... DS just been invited for one and the parents are away. He says he has been invited to stay over... after reading this... I think I will be collecting him anyway.

Just thought I'd post an update. I arrived to collect DS and a friend of his at 3AM, almost everyone was staying the night there.

A few of the teenagers obviously had been drinking, but at that stage of the party it all seemed OK, and apparently was afterwards too. So not the carnage I'd been fearing.

It all seemed to have passed off without major event, until I got a call from yesterday evening. Apparently there are a number of compromising photos/videos taken during the party, and these have been shared.

How can teenagers be so careless with cameras!! You think they are smart, comfortable with tech, but ...

OH dear. This is also quite common.
Hope your DS was not involved.

I don't think DS involved, he says not, but to be honest I don't know. He's out this afternoon, but when he gets back this evening he has some explaining to do.

Last night he told me he had received the pictures, and it was just the girls taking off their tops and posing topless, he didn't take the photos, but they were shared with him. I took his word, asked him to delete them, and did not check his phone.

Just in the past minutes, now I've been told by another parent there is more than that. Careless teenagers, cameras, social media, an awful mix.

It is not unknown for them to film people having sex at the party & post it on Snapchat or Instagram. Just so you are aware. This happened at DS school (different year group).

Following with interest as I will be facing this situation in the next few months! Dreading it to be honest 😟 tell me it’s not that bad!

@RaisinsRuinEverything, this is the first time I've encountered anything like this, and apart from this it's been plain sailing, so it might not be as bad as you think.

I've just seen the photos, it's basically a whole group of the girls posing topless together, and fake (I assume) kissing or making out. While I don't think this is the end of the word ... How could they be so silly?

scary, isn't it. A hard lesson is going to be learned as those pictures go round the school soon. If they are under age it is child porn but that won't stop the pictures going viral. Your son needs to get rid of the pictures immediately.

stupid girls.

MargieMo Thanks for your advice! My girls are generally sensible but I think any young person can misbehave when egged on my an exciting group of friends and under the influence of alcohol.
She says some of her friends already drink at home (she’s 15). I found this quite shocking, apparently it’s normal, as is smoking weed
I hope they delete those photos and no one is harmed!

That’s awful! If he shares them he could be guilty of distributing child porn. They get told this over and over in school yet it still happens.