To think that Health visitors are a certain annoying breed generally?

[Moomin8]

I've just had my 4th baby and the health visitor came the other day. I found her really annoying and rude. First of all she came walking into my living room in her dirty boots and got mud all over my newly cleaned carpet.

My youngest before dc4 is 10 years old and the HV said she was going to therefore talk to me as if I'd never actually had a baby she also wanted to look in my bedroom - I told her no.

Then I thought back to my older dc and their HVs and realised they are all pretty much the same whereas midwives, when they visit are really nice and helpful usually and don't speak to you as though you're an idiot. I'm a 39 year old university educated person and I find these people intrusive and annoying.

What is it with health visitors?

my last health visitor with dd (my 3rd dc) flonced out of my house in a huff. she was a rude condescending cow throughout the whole visit.
first she lectured me because dd's moses sheet was dirty and moses unmade (i had been striping the sheet as she arrived as dd has been sick) she then demanded to see my kitchen,bathroom and bedroom. i let her as i wasnt fussed, house was clean and tidy and she turned her nose up grimacing saying i needed to clean better iv still got no idea how she came up with that other than the laundry basket was full?

she then commented that my dd was too small and that i couldnt be feeding her enough (dd was prem so yeah she was going to be small)

she repeatedly asked if i was scared of dp and i repeatedly said no and that he was a good dp and df (she didnt look like she believed a word of it.)

finally she asked if i had any questions about anything so tryed to ask if she knew much about pcos saying i hadnt had a period for 3 months since first having dd and that it had been happening for years with other symptoms. throughout explaining she interupted me and spoke over me repeatedly saying your pregnant. your pregnant. your pregnant. so i said it is impossible as i havent had sex and yup your pregnant.
i then gave up and just sat silently whilst she lectured me on protection
she asked me why i had gone quiet so i said that i didnt see the point in speaking as she didnt seem to care to listen anyway. she called me childish to which i replied that adults speak TO each other and not AT them
off she flounced
(yes i did call and complain and asked for a different health visitor)

Sorry, article was from 2017.

This is the quote:

A survey of parents found that the vast majority wanted the health visits to continue, with just 5% saying they did not feel they required advice during their first six months as a parent. “Despite the conventional wisdom that parents fear interference from the ‘nanny state’, in reality many say that they welcome advice in the early years of their child’s life,” the commission said.

If I was being skeptical I might wonder how they phrased the question about welcoming advice, and whether parents were aware they were taking it as a vote of support for the HV service as it currently stands.

forgot to add in my last post that she berated me for not informing her that dd was home after her stay in scbu even though the hospital was supposed to tell her and accused me of trying to hide dd from her

My HVs were very nice, though not particularly ‘with it’. The head HV of the team was fantastic, really on it, mine of information etc.

Well indeed SuperFurryDoggy. I guess we could print it out and send a copy to Sir Simon Stephens (is he actually a Kt yet?), the Chairs of our local CCGs and Childrens' Services Departments.

Certainly parents would welcome high quality professional advice, but it doesn't indicate whether they actually felt they had received it.

There is a problem:

Midwifery care
Labour Care
Post-natal care
HV support

It is all done unto women when they are at their most vulnerable. I am quite sure it would be significantly better if it were delivered to men. There is in my opinion far too much power vested with the vocationally qualified in these areas rather than with those who are professionally qualified. Having a degree does not make a person well educated and a good communicator; it make them well qualified.

I appreciate there are CQC reviews of maternity units nowadays but I wonder if this extends to Health Visiting?

Of course health visiting services are inspected by cqc

That's good. I do have reservations that they are a very expensive way of providing a service very few people want or need though. However, I accept that I say that from a very leafy and suburban bubble where actually people didn't. And when they did, like my friends who had a very premmie baby, and another friend whose child had a severe disability, they were either hopeless or the families/children were picked up by more specialist services.

I still don't understand what useful purpose my hv served or why she expected me to sit in a ghastly clnic for baby weighing for the sake of it and wouldn't say it was my choice and I didn't have to.

I am a paediatric nurse and a health visitor, I have a masters and I now work in child protection. When I have my own children I will still be very glad of the advice and support of a health clinic, even though I am educated.

I don’t Think it’s fair to judge a whole service provision based on your own individual experience. Most people are given the universal service and will have absolutely no idea why families need the enhanced service or what is then expected of the health visitor in those situations.

Asking questions about domestic abuse is necessary because on average it takes a women 11 times of being asked before she will feel able to disclose. So the health visitor is only asking in order to try to support and protect the many women who are victims/survivors of abuse.

Seeing where a baby sleeps is very necessary to risk assess safe sleeping. When a baby dies of SIDS the health visiting records are scrunitised to see if they discussed SIDS and saw the baby’s sleeping area due to it being a Factor in SIDS.

There have been some awful stories on here of very poor practice by health visitors which should definitely be reported so that those individuals can be dealt with. But that does not mean the whole service should be scrapped.

For those who said why can’t the midwife or gp do the job. GPS have ten minutes with their patients and thousands of patients registered. Paediatrics is one part of their remit. In my career I have picked up many Illnesses or social difficulties which the GP has missed. Similarly, Midwives are barely doing home visits anymore - one in most areas and normally very quick. They do not have the time or the continuity to get to know families well enough to be able to assess in the same way.

When I worked as a health visitor I always made an appointment unless I couldn’t get hold of the family. I always explained the role of the health visitor and how the service works. I always asked what parents knew already before giving advice. And I always left them with the ethos that There were set times I would offer to see their child but they could access the service as much or as little as the chose to.

I always tried to work In partnership with parents as that is the best way to get a good outcome for the child. The child who does not have a voice. And in the majority of cases parents are able to provide what is best for the child but sadly we all know of cases where parents were not able to do that and that is where the skill of the health visitor is really needed. While it may feel patronising or needless for the hv to ask certain things, in the majority of cases they do not know you and are just trying to do their best to ensure children are safe. Why is that so awful?

My experience was not great either. First I went to GP when first pregnant but living with partner not married to him. First ? from GP 'are you in any kind of long term relationship? ( I am a 37 yr old prof woman and my private life is just that thanks - I thought) He passed me on to midwifery booking team - nosey old xxx she was- what does DP do, what's his DoB for the hand held records etc - oh I'll let him complete that when he gets home I said. - never saw her again. Then after a difficult pregnancy - several weeks in hospital - it was on to the HV team - she had to come to me as it was a C- Section - one day she said " people think if they ask anything or tell me anything I am going to take their baby away, I don't know where they think I am putting all these babies, in the footwell of my car I guess" so I said" oh well, no problem for you with something to put in your reflective journal for re validation of your qual then." - never saw her again apart from one visit to the clinic as she was too busy to come again apparently. Frankly I felt that they were all too busy keeping an eye out for me to be PND cos I ticked all their boxes - older mum, not married, no work to keep me occupied once DC arrived etc. - fortunately I wasn't able to oblige.
Then we moved house. New HV with DC 2 looked askance as I arrived at clinic, said, oh is it just to weigh him? You've done it all before haven't you? Let me know if you need me in future" - we've sent in his UCAS now and I haven't needed to get back to her yet.
When I was a nurse the people who went to HV after qualifying were always the ones who never wanted to stay late even in a crisis, were never around when we were busy( oh I had to wait ages for the patient when I went to collect him etc) and were generally idle and didn't like getting their hands dirty. HV is well paid v many other nursing jobs and attracts people who want to say not do in my experience

@PBLR I’m not sure how you can say health visiting is well paid compared to other nursing when we have the agenda for change and are all paid the same based on skills and knowledge.

I actually took a pay cut to come into health visiting as I lose the unsociable hours pay that you get on a ward.

Echo what feeling has said upthread. I work closely with HVs professionally and while it may seem an unnecessary convenience , they are very valuable and in many cases provide the opportunity for people to open up about DV or needing additional support. They certainly do have a safeguarding role as well as providing the opportunity for parents to flag any concerns about their baby's health, feeding, development etc.

I understand the need for hvs, the problem is that they seem to treat all women like they're potential abusers and experiencing domestic violence. Now that is going to get women's backs up, obviously. People don't want people being intrusive into their private life and that is only natural. Some hvs realise people may feel like that and as a result they amend their practice to suit who they are dealing with. One of the hvs I dealt with was great. She came for 6bweek check and then they changed her, at that point I withdrew fom the service.

There's also a rather dismissive tone in some of the responses on this thread as though HVs are not necessary for middle class families ...

I don't know what's nosey about asking the date of birth of babies father? Some people are oddly over sensitive over basic details

@rubyroost it’s a government initiative to ask “routine enquiry” ie every contact with a woman she should be asked about domestic abuse. This is because a third of women globally have experienced domestic abuse and it has big health implications for the victim/survivor and their children. While you may find it intrusive or annoying, in a study of victims/survivors they all were appreciative that a health professional had asked them about their relationship. By asking everyone we help the ones who need it. So next time, don’t get a mother, but be grateful the question may help someone who is needs the help.

No one said anything about middle class though. They are not necessary for many people who are well educated about nutrition, development and SIDS etc.

As far as asking to see sleeping arrangements. I co slept with mine in bed for first three months. My choice and decision. I was perfectly aware of the risks (few that I could see) and nothing to do with any HV if they cared to tell me otherwise.

Mine told me that my baby wasn't hungry (was feeding alllll the time) but bored 

I meant - next time don’t get annoyed. (Predictive text)

I am fully aware its a govt initiative. That doesn't mean being repeatedly asked isn't going to annoy people and the way it's asked also can be an issue.

Why would it annoy you when it’s just checking if you are safe/need help???
And it seems you are implying educated people don’t need support or don’t abuse their children which is astounding.

Not at all. If I need support I would go to someone more qualified than a hv though. And I just don't agree that hvs should be snooping on everyone for the few children that are abused. That's my opinion. The advice that hvs give is extremely basic and most seems rote learned. They have the same script which they use across localities. The story about attachment and Romanian orphanages and the caretakers for one.

My HV trumps absolutely every awful one here. She practically accused my partner of watching porn with my little one present. I really should have taken that further but I was too shell shocked.

I told one I wasn’t coping because my breastfed son fed so frequently I never got more than 2 hours sleep. The response: well you have to keep breastfeeding,don’t you want what’s best for your son?
I feel aggrieved by this looking back as my very explicit cry for help was utterly ignored and my struggle minimised. Just one anecdote though !

I am a paediatric nurse and a health visitor, I have a masters and I now work in child protection. When I have my own children I will still be very glad of the advice and support of a health clinic, even though I am educated.

I think that sentence says it all. You aren't actually a mother yet, yet you think you can patronise women who are. It is rather shocking that despite all your child related qualifications you still think you will need advice and support from a grimy health clinic. Nothing my HV could tell me wasn't available in the leaflets she handed me - and that clinic is optional and it should be clearly disseminated that it is optional.

I was 35 when I had my first child. 25 years ago they didn't look at the sleeping area but had she, she'd have found out the rest of the house was as immaculate and nice as my drawing room. She didn't ask if there was domestic violence - but was very concerned about where my partner was - it was a Friday - he was at work - pretty obvious - and she didn't like it much when I said I had a husband. What she did ask was if I needed any help applying for benefits which she did either because she wanted to wind me up or was spectacularly thick.

My interractions with the HV service were 25 years ago now. It still upsets me when I think how much that silly person disempowered me when I was my most vulnerable.

And so it continues..........

Talk about a witch hunt. Mumsnet, you should be ashamed.