To think that Health visitors are a certain annoying breed generally?

[Moomin8]

I've just had my 4th baby and the health visitor came the other day. I found her really annoying and rude. First of all she came walking into my living room in her dirty boots and got mud all over my newly cleaned carpet.

My youngest before dc4 is 10 years old and the HV said she was going to therefore talk to me as if I'd never actually had a baby she also wanted to look in my bedroom - I told her no.

Then I thought back to my older dc and their HVs and realised they are all pretty much the same whereas midwives, when they visit are really nice and helpful usually and don't speak to you as though you're an idiot. I'm a 39 year old university educated person and I find these people intrusive and annoying.

What is it with health visitors?

Where we lived previously the hv was an absolute box ticking patronising frustrating woman.

Where I am now, she's a bloody angel and I adore her. She's helped so much to get referrals for my eldest and pushed everything through so quickly. She remembers such small details about the children which just show how much she cares about her clients. I can't fault her at all and we wouldn't be receiving all the help and support we do without her.

We had a lovely one who saw us after both babies (she asked if we wanted to keep her as DD was only 13 months when DS was born, so she was still visiting).

She was unobtrusive, helpful, kind, just really lovely. I have no complaints at all. Maybe we were just lucky!

I’m currently seeing my HV every couple of weeks or so, she’s been a huge support and I’m really grateful for her help. She’s really responsive on her work phone if I get in touch about anything by call or text and has just been generally great.

@iamNOTmagic what on earth are you talking about? They're all qualified nurses who've gone back to university and done a post graduate degree

@Fortheloveofscience wow, she must really love seeing you number come up on her phone

My HV with DD1 was fine. She didn't do anything helpful or tell me anything I didn't know, but she wasn't rude.

My HV with the twins was another story. She tried to arrange a prenatal visit after their actual due date (I declined it, obviously). On the day of that visit, they were a few days old, in NICU, in separate wards and I had had a traumatic birth.

HV rang me very frostily informing me that she was on the doorstep, she knew I had had "the baby" and where was I because she had to do the newborn hearing test? She simmered down slightly when I pointed out that my twins were under lights and on a glucose drip and DS had just had his MRI.

After, she came by the house once only, but I saw her at clinic as I had them weighed weekly on the advice of their dietitian. She then advised to wean DD when she was 19w old - but actually 14w corrected! She also did not know how to correct for prematurity appropriately on the growth charts so DD was rushed back into hospital for failing to thrive. The paediatrics registrar took one look at the weight measurements vs how the chart had been plotted, sighed, rubbed it all out with his eraser and re-did it himself. The HV later left me a very defensive voicemail so I think he had let her have a piece of his mind!

They are nearly 2 now and we haven't seen them for 18 mos, which suits me.

The one really nice thing they did was a young trainee HV came to my house for an hour and demonstrated baby massage as it was hard for me to get to the class. That was very kind and I remember her fondly.

However, even with that.... it was v thoughtful but is that really a good use of NHS funds?

Both mine were fab.

My health visitors were brilliant with my first and I’ve barely set eyes on them with my second due to cuts. I do wonder though if some are being confused for the nursery assistants that work with them who are not qualified to the same degree? I’ve seen one amazing assistant but most of the others seem flustered if asked anything other than weighing.

None of mine have been rude but none of them have been helpful either. With my second baby especially, felt like her advice was really blah blah text book stuff that I could of googled myself in 5 mins?

So YANBU, save the nhs some money & stop all the home visits unless requested I would say.

Mine came once, stayed for 10 mins did the post natal checklist. Told me I didn’t have PND (I did) and then left. Second appointment phoned to say she wasn’t coming as she had to collect her children from school and was never seen again.

Ours was not only useless but also had twice THE most annoying voice ever. The squeaky "and how are YOU feeling' every damn time will never leave me.

Our dt's were very prem and she didn't understand the issues associated from being so prem.

They were awful underweight she said, no fucking shit sherlock, they were born at 2lb ish!!!

Ds was an awful fussy baby, nope he has cmpa and was in agony.

Dd's raspy voice caused by damage from ventilating was just a wee husky voice eh.

I haemorrhaged badly and kept fainting for a few weeks afterwards, she did THE most perfect mumsnet head tilt and look "well, that's not normal".

The worst one was she was visiting one day when ds had what appeared to be a bad cough/cold. He literally turned blue infront of us and his tummy was doing that sucky in thing. "Oh bless, he needs a humidifier in here". She was fucking useless, I actually went and got my midwife neighbour to look at him who phoned an ambulance straight away while she sat like a twat. It took me until that day to realise we didn't need to or want to actually see her.

The dts have been under paediatric care the last 5 years, seeing the consultant who was actually there when they were born at least every 6 months, and always have access to her via phone. Telling her to beat it was one of the most enjoyable moments of my life.

Fuck you jennifer

I dreaded my HV due to SIL and MN comments, but my one is lovely. Relaxed, friendly and really helpful in just confirming my gut feel or making me confident that I'm getting it right. She was also very helpful sorting prescriptions etc with gp so I didn't need to go for pointless appts.

Other than DP, she's the only one who's complimented me on my parenting. Family friends etc talk non stop about the baby and offer (bad/outdated) advice but nobody actually tells you that you're doing a good job.

She's never stepped foot further than my living room etc.

So YANBU, save the nhs some money & stop all the home visits unless requested I would say.

^ Interesting comment.
Could be valid, if we know for a fact people who are poorly educated, living in poverty, traumatised, falling on hard times, having some kind of crisis or are down right evil and want to abuse their child always speak up.
Do you think all of these kind of people will ring up the nhs and request a home visit?

Also how many people have been contained by their health visitor? As in had a terrible child hood themselves but just find help in someone coming along and saying yes everything is Ok.
How much pnd is nipped In the bud?

How many developmental delays, speech problems or physical problems in Children are picked up by a hv saying hang on is something up here? let’s refer.

Until you can safely say everyone who needs a home visit will request one, and that health visitors play no part in picking up potential problems and screening, as well as supporting families. I think your point is bollocks.

My second health visitor really helped me and supported me all the way though after a bad birth with my first, every when maternity services weren’t interested. She has also calmed me down about things I have been worried about which have prevented me going to the gp. And she prescribed thrush treatment for my baby saving another gp appointment.
The first wasn’t as helpful but I actually don’t think I realised what she was able to help with, and she also was a nice woman and doesn’t deserve the stick they are getting on here. All for what? Working for the welfare of children?

I don't think all HV are bad, I lived in a Sure Start area so I got extra help and she was fantastic. She sent out a specialist lady who helped me with play ideas because I was feeling depressed from my birth experience.

Honestly the most hard work were the mw days after, just turning up and as previously mentioned and making me feel like a shit mum. The one I have now is terribly condescending and not very friendly.

I moved just 4 minutes down the road now and I'm out of the catchment area but I miss her so much she was brilliant. Ive seen my new one twice, so I can't say I have the same bond as with my first HV but she's been helpful.

Sorry Flying Start*

Mine was lovely. I've had the same lady for all 4 and she's brilliant.

Health visitors are registered nurses. They have completed post graduate qualifications to work in their chosen field of public health/ community health visitors.

3 kids here in age range from 18 to 2 and they are in my experience obsessed with being obnoxious and condescending
wpnt go into detail as its v outing but we had one who lied to social.services about my toddler having an injury.. said he couldnt crawl.
the police and social services were raging at her.

Why the flouncing user? People are just relating their experiences. And several posters have said they had a good one.

If a public service isn't working (and clearly there are problems with HVs in some areas) then nothing will change until people speak out and make a fuss.

And if you're a good HV then the negative posts aren't about you!

I got a student hv who was so out of her depth she just never came back. I can recall her sitting on the sofa like a rabbit in the headlights. ( I'd had a shit birth, DD born with serious disbility undetected on scans)
I had a debrief with a midwife at hospital following my awful birth experience (I asked GP to refer me after friend (who also had awful birth) told me, GP didn't know it existed but in all fairness referred me) and midwife complained about no health visitor input. The senior health visitor then ended up sat in my living room apologising. Luckily I'd had sense to contact services for DD myself and found a charity specialising but could have delayed treatment for DD plus presumably I was at risk of rejection of baby, pnd etc.

@AnneElliott agreed, however people should be complaining to their HV service officially rather than slating the service on Mumsnet which won’t change a thing.

And if you're a good HV then the negative posts aren't about you!
^ the whole thread is collectively about health visitors being an ‘annoying breed’

Well, tbh, the one off colour comment I had from one of my HVs really isn't bad enough to make a formal complaint about. I'd look batshit doing it now, 5 years later.

I actually did complain about my postnatal care with dc2 and they did bugger all about it anyway.

You can't say we can't discuss anything negative about public services on here, but just report it properly. That would shut down so much useful discussion on here. It really helps a lot of people to share their experiences, good and bad. I definitely benefit from hearing how other people have found the HV service and it helps me make sense of what they do and why I didn't always find them helpful. Sorry if you'd rather people didn't discuss it, in case it hurts someone's feelings. But, as ann says, if a GOOD HV is reading this and people are moaning about their less good HVs, the complaints do not apply to you. The sweeping statements aren't helpful, but you always get them on here. It's usually shorthand for "this has been my experience".