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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asking entire family over for dinner then canceling a hour before

48 replies

Legoandloldolls · 27/12/2019 11:43

So me dh and kid all invited out over Christmas period for dinner at friends. I get the kids ready, plan our day around it, getting them dressed up etc. Telling them about it. An hour before we are due ( thirty minutes before I get in the car) the host texts to say they are ill with a cold and exhausted.

So aibu to think you know this more than a hour before you serve dinner you have a cold and or feel exhausted? I presume a better offer came up personally.

OP posts:
NomNomNomNom · 27/12/2019 11:44

YANBU they should have decided to cancel early. It's not the end of the world but a bit annoying for you guys as you may have turned down other invites to go.

mrsbyers · 27/12/2019 11:45

Maybe they were hoping to still accommodate right to the last moment then admitted defeat but they should have warned you it was a possibility

pimples · 27/12/2019 11:46

They’ve had a massive Barney

Original poster
Legoandloldolls · 27/12/2019 11:49

Yes a warning would have been entirely possible surely? I'm not angry with them. Just trying to work out if it was genuine or not.

OP posts:
onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 27/12/2019 11:58

Very poor of your friends.
They either should have stuck to the arrangement and got on with it or cancelled last night.
I have no time for people like this. You get to know the friends who are flaky and the friends who are reliable. Your friends (I use the term loosely)are the former.

We once had a couple cancel on us because one of them had a cold an hour before they were due over for Sunday lunch which we were in the middle of preparing. They were never invited again.

twoshedsjackson · 27/12/2019 12:00

Not a lot you can do this time, but I'd be wary of future invitations, and tell them why if one is forthcoming.
Unless there is a more complicated reason for last-minute cancellation; is somebody covering for something?

PhilomenaChristmasPie · 27/12/2019 12:01

That's really rude. DS1's got form for this, he's got cystic fibrosis and will leave it until the last minute to cancel plans and go to hospital. I tell him to make the decision the day before.

CatintheFireplace · 27/12/2019 12:02

I reckon they've had a massive row.

Skyejuly · 27/12/2019 12:02

Bet they had a row

wintertime6 · 27/12/2019 12:07

I know I feel drained today after what ended up being nearly 3 full days of being between different families, having overtired and overstimulated kids etc. I couldn't face having to entertain today or get dressed up and go to somebody's house, and I'm loving the fact that we can just be on our own at home today and the kids are enjoying playing with their toys.

It may we'll be that they just feel a bit like this, and with a cold on top.

MoreToEatMoreToDrink · 27/12/2019 12:08

Yep - I would place my money on a huge falling out!

SusanneLinder · 27/12/2019 12:09

They've had a row I reckon and don't want to say.

ScabbyBabby · 27/12/2019 12:09

Rubbish but could you go to a nice cosy pub or restaurant instead?

Iturnedmyfaceaway · 27/12/2019 12:10

“They’ve had a massive Barney”
Yep.

LellyMcKelly · 27/12/2019 12:13

Put money on them having had a big argument.

Redcrayons · 27/12/2019 12:16

Add me to the 'had a row' list

NorthernLightsInWinter · 27/12/2019 12:17

They've had a row and one of them essentially forced the other one to cancel.

Noideawhatusername · 27/12/2019 12:21

Yep my money is on a big row too.

CatherineCawood · 27/12/2019 12:21

Add me to the row list too. 100% they've had an argument.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 27/12/2019 12:22

Also in the had a row camp.

Or one of them has a health problem they aren’t ready to discuss

AfterSchoolWorry · 27/12/2019 12:22

Hungover

BatShite · 27/12/2019 12:23

Poor form really. If it was a sudden pukey bug or something I could understand, but a cold? Letting people down with an hour to go is quite bad. Understand why they wouldn't want to host even with a cold mind, but..I think I would let people know I had a cold, then they could decide, rather than just cancelling.

I do agree they have pribably had a huge fight though..in which case, the atmosphere would be terrible. Still a pain in the arse for you though

CarolinaPink · 27/12/2019 12:26

They’ve had a massive Barney

^ This

Original poster
Legoandloldolls · 27/12/2019 12:28

Nope no row as friend is single. I see this person every week so no ongoing health issues or I would know.

We have made alternative plans quite easily so it's not a big deal. Just a pita as my kids was excited and dh is saying what if we cancelled plans for this. I wouldn't have accepted the offer if I already had plans but I kind of see where dh is coming from.

OP posts:
WarmthAndDepth · 27/12/2019 12:29

Row or MH / anxiety crisis, definitely. Poor them, totally galling for at least one of them. Bit of an inconvenience for you.

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