Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be sick of being sick at PILs?

74 replies

LondonUnited · 27/12/2019 10:26

I will admit that I am weak of stomach. BUT every time we go to PILs I end up with an upset stomach. Following on from our visit this Christmas I feel ill and the baby has loose nappies too.

The issue is their lack of cleaning and lack of appropriate food hygiene (think leaving meat out of the fridge, complete disregard of use by dates etc. Once we visited them a few days after they had come back from holiday in France and they fed us burgers they had cooked over there and brought home in their hot car Confused and another time I was ill for four days after they left a chicken out to defrost for 24 hours in 30 degree July heat!)

I am absolutely fed up of it now. DH has spoken to them and nothing changes. WIBU to simply refuse to visit? They live over 100 miles away so popping in for tea is not an option!

OP posts:
NomNomNomNom · 27/12/2019 10:29

Ergh. Does everyone else get sick too? I would just bring my own food.

AnneLovesGilbert · 27/12/2019 10:29

Why do you keep going?! Invite them to yours instead. If you really think theirs endangering your baby’s health with manky food I’m not sure why you went this year.

IHateBlueLights · 27/12/2019 10:30

Take your own food.

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 27/12/2019 10:31

Yeah don't eat there.

Notonthestairs · 27/12/2019 10:32

Tell them you are vegetarian and/or bring your own food.

user1493413286 · 27/12/2019 10:33

I wouldn’t be eating there.

Original poster
LondonUnited · 27/12/2019 10:41

The reason we keep going is because MIL is desperate for us to visit and goes on and on about it all the time.

DH has spoken to them about the food issue but at the end of the day I suspect both he and MIL think I am being fussy and precious. Usually it is only me being ill but this time it has taken down me, the baby, and our oldest child.

If I refuse to go and/or refuse to allow DH to take the kids, this will no doubt cause huge ructions Sad

OP posts:
sameasiteverwasantiques · 27/12/2019 10:42

Sod the ructions you can't keep making your kids and yourself ill to please other people.

Aquilla · 27/12/2019 10:44

I have a very similar problem OP, think milk NEVER in fridge, meat out all night etc. I take a sneaky pack of antibac wipes with me and avoid 'danger foods'. Feigning vegetarianism saw me through two years actually.

Disfordarkchocolate · 27/12/2019 10:45

How big will the ructions be if one of your children ends up in the hospital?

Honestly, put your foot down and tell your husbands anyone happy to let their wife and children suffer food poisoning is at best a fool.

whiskersonkittenss · 27/12/2019 10:46

You can't go and risk the kids being ill so you don't upset anyone. They don't make the effort so why should you Confused

selmabear · 27/12/2019 10:47

Doesn't your DH see how ill the food is making you and your DC? You could always take your DC to the GP and say that you suspect food poisoning. They'll probably take a stool sample and when the test results say that's exactly what it is then my guess is you'll be taken a little bit more seriously by your DH and PIL

Ginfordinner · 27/12/2019 10:48

Tell them to visit you. Just be politely assertive and repeat ad nauseum until they get the message. It isn't fair on your children, let alone you, to put them through this.

Skinnychip · 27/12/2019 10:48

Maybe suggest going out to eat "as you dont want her to go to any bother...?"
My MIL is quite blase about food hygiene. (But I think previous generations have different expectations with food) Last xmas some sausage rolls were left out unrefrigerated for days when we stayed there. She also washed some raw chicken in a bowl of water, and then did her washing up in the same (cold) water!!
....but she brings her own food to our house...🤔🤔 maybe because our food hasn't been subjected to enough germs

Oldraver · 27/12/2019 10:52

If she keeps on doing this stuff with chicken one day you could have more than the runs.

I know someone who leaves chicken out overnight to 'cool down' then wonders why someone has the shits

DickDewy · 27/12/2019 10:55

Go, but say you're now vegetarian.

BrutusMcDogface · 27/12/2019 10:56

Skinnychip - wtaf?! Washing up in chicken water?! 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

BrutusMcDogface · 27/12/2019 10:56

Is there a reason they can’t come to your house?

Skinnychip · 27/12/2019 10:59

Skinnychip- wtaf?! Washing up in chicken water?! 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

We were on holiday, thankfully it was only her own stuff she was washing up (she offered to do mine but I quite surprisingly declined!) I was actually really worried they would be I'll but no one was!

chocolateisavegetable · 27/12/2019 11:01

Can you afford to eat out when you visit? Or do a click-and-collect order for food at a store near them and cook the food you have collected yourself.

FrenchBoule · 27/12/2019 11:01

Stop visiting and tell them you have shits everytime you come to see them due to their poor food hygiene.
Be blunt, if MIL is so desperate to see you all she can schlep her arse over

QueenOfCatan · 27/12/2019 11:04

We have similar issues with my parents. After our dd1, DH and I had the shits 3 times in a row after visiting my parents at the beginning of the year we stopped eating there. I'm a vegetarian and DD didn't eat meat at the time too.

RhinoskinhaveI · 27/12/2019 11:07

So your husband gets angry with you if you want to avoid being ill?
I wonder if he would be happy to go and eat somewhere knowing that it would make him ill afterwards?
I expect your husband would refuse because he has good strong boundaries when it comes to protecting his own interests, you need to get some of them for yourself!

AJPTaylor · 27/12/2019 11:07

My in laws became a bit like this.
The local chip shop is your friend. As is arriving with your own stuff "I brought the milk because it's amazing how much we get through." And giving everything a "quick rinse" before using.
And I am hardly fastidious

lottiegarbanzo · 27/12/2019 11:09

That's all pretty basic and genuinely dangerous meat hygeine stuff. Not subjective 'you're not as much of a clean freak as me' nonsense.

I think, invite them to you, or tell them you and the DC are going to be eating vegetarian food / organic only and, as you don't want to put them to any trouble, you'll bring your own main items.

I think their habits will be too ingrained to change, whatever you tell them about normal safety standards, so you cannot trust them and have to take responsibility for protecting yourselves.

Swipe left for the next trending thread