I've hit rock bottom - handhold please

[maybenextyear2020]

I need some unmumsnetty virtual hugs and reassurance. Somebody please talk me out of the state that I'm currently in and tell me that it's not the end of the world. Even though it feels like it is.

I've gotten myself into terrible debt. About 7ks worth. My wage is no longer covering my commitments and I'm fucking terrified. The sense of panic that I'm feeling right now is overwhelming.

I don't know what to do or who to turn to. I feel like my world is closing in on me.

Surely it can only get better now I've reached rock bottom?

Handhold and unmumsnetty hugs for you OP

@sockittome123 thank you it means a lot.

Have you tried a debt management charity? Stepchange maybe?

I can't do anything to change your situation, only you can do that. But I do care, and so do all the people that will post on this thread. If you want to rant go ahead. I can tell that you're a positive person from your username - you can be that person again.

I can't give you any advice unfortunately however, virtual hugs!!! And know - there are people in far more complicated situations! You can get out of this!

Hugs here.

Have you spoken to anyone about the debt? I've seen Christians against Poverty recommended a lot here, also StepChange?

You are acknowledging your situation and taking control. It will get better.

This is just one moment of your life. I've been where you are, plus homeless and a single mum. Sending lots of hugs. It was actually the amazing advice and support I was given on MN that I was able to get back on my own two feet.
Have you got a partner? Any family? If you can tell us any more, maybe there are people on here that can offer proper advice

Handhold for you. Recognising it is a step towards solving it - what caused the debt op? Have you spoken to a debt advice service eg stepchange or Christians against poverty?

You can go online now and put your details into StepChange and they will give you some recommendations. hugs

Handhold op. Without knowing the details we can't know how bad this is. What kind of debt is it? Can you no longer afford the minimum payments? Have you looked into debt management charities? Are you likely to need to borrow more?

I know someone who was in your position two years ago. They are now planning a trip to Australia next year. They got themselves sorted and they have a future to look forward to. There is hope I promise xx

@maybenextyear2020 the most important thing to do is recognise what's happened and start making changes. 7K seems a lot but it's not all that bad. Can you breakdown where and what you owe a bit more plus how much you pay each debt each month?

Generally though what you need to do is take control. Sit down and work out exactly what you owe and to whom. Write down essential outgoings and how much is coming in. The next step is to work out which debt is costing you the most (ie. high APR store cards etc). You then pick up the phone and call each debtor. Tell them your situation and ask them to put a stop on everything and make minimal offers to all but the most expensive debtor. Pay the maximum you can afford off the most expensive debt until it's cleared then move on to the next one. Without figures I don't know how fast you can clear the debt but the important thing is that you start to.

I know right now it feels overwhelming but taking control and facing up to the reality of the situation will help. Also look at what you can do to increase your income. Can you sell some stuff? Take a part time extra job?

This is the first day of getting things sorted. You can do this.

Write it all down, monthly figures then phone every company and offer what you can. The first call will be hard, the ones after easier. What sort of debt is it?

Thanks everyone.

Try to give a few more details - my debt is basically payday loans, credit cards and catalogue. Have considered a DMP but my job doesn't allow for me to have adverse credit. The pressure that I'm under at the minute is crazy. But now it has gotten to the point where i can't afford to pay everything every month.

I have a low paid job and one DC. I can't get a second job because there is no child care for him and I work 4 days a week from 9 until 5.

I'm just so stuck at the minute and hating myself for spending so recklessly. It's caught up with me and I've had enough of this dark cloud hanging over my life

I think they key thing here is to remember the worlds not going to fall in because you’re in debt. I was in a similar position to you three years ago. I went to Stepchange and they were amazing. They dealt with everything for me and it meant I had a fixed, manageable sum to repay each month and I cleared by debt within 3 years- and it was way more substantial than yours. The main thing is to ensure you have a steady income coming in and focus on paying the fixed debt repayment sum to clear the debt. It can and it will be done but please speak to Stepchange!

I'm so sorry you're in this position. No advice to offer, but sending supportive thoughts your way. I imagine it's immensely stressful. I hope you find a way to get through this, good luck.

Hugs.

BUT things won’t get better just because you feel you have hit rock bottom. That is a bit of a fallacy. That’s the bad news.

BUT the good news is that you have the power to take control of the situation and turn it around.

You need to be proactive and harness the feelings of desperation you have now and turn them to your benefit.

Start by analysing how you came to be in debt - out of control spending, unexpected expenses, period of time out of work, low income?

Then try to address the cause so the debt doesn’t get worse. Take preventative measures so your finances don’t worsen.

If behaviours (addictions) have impacted your debt then seek help for them.

And seek help for the debt itself. Step Change, CAB or possibly an Independent Financial Advisor.

Draw up a list of outgoingings vs income. Be rigorous in paring back anything you can.

Look for opportunities to increase your income. A second job, boot sales, capitalising on any skills you have.

You can do this. But you need to ‘own’ it. The situation won’t just improve on its own.

Good luck.

Thanks @Pinkmexicanskull, this is so reassuring. I'm just so worried about losing my job because it will leave me with adverse credit.

My job wouldn’t let me have adverse credit, but a debt management plan was acceptable over an iva or bankruptcy so it is worth talking to them. The sense of relief was immense.

I also worked with two qualified accountants with ivas and they’ve gone on to be very high up in the finance world. So please talk to payplan or stepchange. It can and will be resolved. It will be ok

Work from home? The earn £10 a day threads are really useful. I cba with the surveys but Appen and Crisp are good. You can basically work an extra job.

@EvilPea Did you tell them before or after you took out the DMP?

I had a friend that ahd these problems, she phoned a debt management company and they sorted it out for her that she paid one lump sum, quite reasonable per month and that really helped her out, I would check the proper company out on money saving expert though because I beleive there are others that charge.

National debt line can offer more options than step change

If you don’t have adverse credit, why resort to payday loans when a bank overdraft or loan would be available to you?

Capuk.org

I'm not in the UK so can't advise on who to contact, but there will be people who can help. You've acknowledged the problem so it's upwards from here. You will clear it - it will take work and maybe some sacrifice - but it can be done. Good luck.