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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I've hit rock bottom - handhold please

49 replies

maybenextyear2020 · 26/12/2019 21:08

I need some unmumsnetty virtual hugs and reassurance. Somebody please talk me out of the state that I'm currently in and tell me that it's not the end of the world. Even though it feels like it is.

I've gotten myself into terrible debt. About 7ks worth. My wage is no longer covering my commitments and I'm fucking terrified. The sense of panic that I'm feeling right now is overwhelming.

I don't know what to do or who to turn to. I feel like my world is closing in on me.

Surely it can only get better now I've reached rock bottom?

OP posts:

TheReef · 26/12/2019 21:38

Contact your creditors directly, arrange a payment plan. Then talk to your employer... can you get a different job? You should be able to claim back childcare costs if you're a single parent and on a low wage

cheninblanc · 26/12/2019 21:38

Pay day loans - look at debt camel and resolver and follow the advise. I had mine written off this year, taken off my credit file and @2500 in refunds of interest given. DM me if you need any help but debt camel and resolver will do the work for you

BlueLadybird · 26/12/2019 21:46

I really recommend posting on the Debt Free Wannabe board on Money Saving Expert. The posters there are very knowledgeable - you’ll be asked to post a statement of affairs (SOA - essentially full income and outgoings) and they’ll help look and how you can balance things, what to pay first, or other options.

They call what you are experiencing now a ‘lightbulb moment’. I know £7k is a lot and it’s all about context, but there are people who have tens of thousands of debt and have managed to pay it off and thrive.

That doesn’t mean you can’t take advice here of course but it’s another source of help.

Pinkmexicanskull · 26/12/2019 21:50

I’m not going to lie I’ve been left with shitty credit. But there’s a point where you have to weigh up continuing to kill yourself trying to cover outgoings and feel like this, OR still pay your debts off but at a manageable rate. There’s no need for you to feel like this. I’ve just been really anal since becoming debt free about staying that way, and trust me when I say I’ll never ever get into that place again.

But you need to come to terms with the fact you WILL get out from where you are, but you will possibly have to have poor credit. You can do it!

SonjaMorgan · 26/12/2019 21:50

I have been in your situation but owed more. I didn't use a dmp, I did get help from citizens advice and wrote to all of the companies asking them to freeze the interest and if they would accept a set amount per month. They all accepted my requests and for some I was only paying £5 a month off. Eventually once the smaller debts were paid I managed to clear the larger ones far more quickly. I listened to Dave Ramsey and read thrifty sites like cooking on a bootstrap and mse.

Please don't feel hopeless, yes it is crap but most people are only 1 payday away from everything going wrong.

Original poster

maybenextyear2020 · 26/12/2019 21:57

@SonjaMorgan I may do this instead of going on a dmp as I really don't want to do that

OP posts:

AlexanderHalexander · 26/12/2019 22:05

Don't panic - it's only money, it's not worth ruining your health through worry.

Get over to Debt free wannabe on MSE, they really know their stuff

They advise the snowball approach. Basically you pay off the smallest debt first, then when that is gone use the spare money to pay off the next biggest debt, and so on.

Can you list your debts here with interest charges so we can advise?

What is your job?

AlexanderHalexander · 26/12/2019 22:07

Also, do you have an ebay account?

Have a new year clear out and sell everything on ebay. Aim to make £100 . and pay it off your smallest debt.

Elieza · 26/12/2019 22:24

Is your credit score ok at the moment? Could you consolidate a few or all debts onto one bank loan or loan from a company with a better APR rate than you are currently paying?

I did that before I started missing payments and it became one monthly payment which is much more manageable. My six years is nearly up, and I will have cleared it off within weeks. Since then the washing machine car and hoover broke so I have another lot of debt on one zero percent APR card to pay but I will get there over the next two years. Baby steps.

Original poster

maybenextyear2020 · 26/12/2019 22:39

@cheninblanc how long did it take for you to get a response/refund? I've just emailed a couple of them with a generic affordability complaint. Fingers crossed.

OP posts:

maras2 · 26/12/2019 22:41

Go to Money Saving Expert/Debt Free Wanabe.
Great advice from people who have been in your position and very much worse.
They're non judgemental and are shit hot on pay day loan advice as well as the other stuff.

cheninblanc · 26/12/2019 22:47

Maybenextyear2020 it took the full eight weeks, who do you have loans with? I was lucky I got a big quick quid pay out, snc and money 247. I've now nothing outstanding there and my credit cards are being paid off at a manageable amount. I'm in the plus each month! I'm be debt free in less than 18 months now.
Another tip is I pay all bills, then split what's left into 4 (5 if 5 week month) and that's what I've got each week, when it's spent its gone. So today budget an amount to spend on lunch, didn't spend it all so tucked that away, now have the start of savings. Only a few pounds each week but it adds up! It will get easier xx

Original poster

maybenextyear2020 · 26/12/2019 23:00

@cheninblanc mine are with sunny & satsuma

OP posts:

PlasticPatty · 26/12/2019 23:02

Just

Frozenfan2019 · 26/12/2019 23:06

did get help from citizens advice and wrote to all of the companies asking them to freeze the interest and if they would accept a set amount per month. They all accepted my requests and for some I was only paying £5 a month off

A friend of mine did this, although I don't know the details, I think this is not as unusual as you might think. Companies know that you could go bankrupt and not pay them back , they also have to show the authorities that they are not an unreasonable lender. They would rather see a small amount of their money every month than have it written off. Any debtor who complains to the ombudsman risks them being blacklisted as a lender and that will be far worse than freezing the interest of one customer.

I wish you all the best OP. Citizens advice can be fabulous

cheninblanc · 26/12/2019 23:12

Don't forget to cancel all payments to them and enter into a payment plan, £5 a month whatever you can afford as now you've complained they'll take next month's money and not relend. Keep paying them but on a plan on a small amount until they respond. Good luck. The first phone will be the worst but from then it's like a cloud is lifted. I sleep now, I don't panic each week, I don't need to check my bank daily. I'm not loaded but I can now see through a month, and even have a new tyre, mot and service on my car two days before Xmas! There is an end xx

Original poster

maybenextyear2020 · 26/12/2019 23:18

@cheninblanc Thank you so much. Would you mind if I dropped you a PM?

OP posts:

cheninblanc · 26/12/2019 23:20

Of course not. I'm heading to bed but I'll try and help where I can. I don't have all the answers but I've brought myself from debt around the same amount. You will feel so much better within a few days just tackling it

cheninblanc · 26/12/2019 23:28

Not sure I can see a dm from a phone app.? I'll log on via my lap top tmrw if you need any help re the pay day loans. Another thing that's helped is I've opened a second current account and I move my weekly money to that so I don't overspend each week

Original poster

maybenextyear2020 · 26/12/2019 23:40

@cheninblanc you can't see them on the app. I asked you if you cancelled your direct debits for the payday loans

OP posts:

Vinobianco · 26/12/2019 23:40

Not sure if it helps but to get extra cash you could try focus groups - they can lay £50 for an hour not sure if you’re in a city though ? Viewber another option - you show people houses for £18 ph. Depends if you can get could care. How about baby sitting in eve with taking your child with you ? Dog walking ? Child could go to ? Hope this helps

cheninblanc · 27/12/2019 09:03

maybenextyear2020 yes, take enough cash for the week then cancel your debit card. Then contact the bank and get the CPA stopped - you can do this over chat or a form usually. Then contact the pay day loan company, tell them you've logged a complaint and can only afford £5. Most important is to cancel that card.

EvilPea · 27/12/2019 10:43

I started the job with the plan in place and just told them. They were fine.
The other two with the more formal Iva’s started with them too and were quite upfront in conversations.
Mine was done through payplan, it’s basically what someone advised with the citizen advice bureau where they write to the creditors, freeze the interest. You go through your outgoings and they take whatever is left (and I mean whatever is left). They then distribute it to your creditors, the agreement is an informal way of managing debt. The creditors stop chasing you and go through them. The creditors also believe them over you doing it off your own back.
They are funded by the credit card companies so it’s no cost to you.

But talk to them or step change and they will advise what’s best.

excitedemmi · 28/12/2019 00:35

Hi lovely. I am sorry I don't have any specific useful advice. I just wanted to let you know that you can get through this, and while £7k may seem like the end of the world; your life and your happiness is worth much much more than this. You just have to take it one step at a time and know that you will get through this. It may be a tough road, though. Lots of love from me. Please reach out if you need any support. xxxxxxx

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