To tell him he’s trying too hard?

[GirlOnIt]

Or more would I be unreasonable to do so, as I haven’t said anything yet.

Recently separated but we’re on the verge of getting back together.
I feel like he’s trying too hard to be the perfect partner and father. I don’t want to upset him, he’s being really lovely but it feels too much. I don’t know if I’m just being a moody cow though. And I know if he wasn’t making any effort at all I’d be annoyed too, so maybe he can’t win either way.

But would I be unreasonable to tell him he’s trying a bit too hard and if not, what’s a nice way to say it?

I believe you’re deluded @GirlOnIt

Leopards don’t change their spots

He’s biding his time and getting what he can out of it, and then when he thinks you’re hooked in again he’ll let the mask slip.

And because you’ve given him a chance and don’t want to lose face, he thinks the sunk cost will keep his abusive feet under your table.

Don’t do counselling with this man, there’s no point. He’ll end up recruiting the counsellor and getting you to do all the changing and turning yourself inside out trying to do so.

Thank you @ScarJo. And I completely understand where you're coming from. I'm not even sure if it will work out, even if he never acts like that again. All I've said is that I'm willing to try. We've two very young dc, so not seeing him isn't a option, a relationship with anyone else isn't a option right now and so I don't think trying even if it doesn't work is going to set me back at all.

I'm making a conscious effort this time to meet up with friends and get out, dd is already taking expressed milk and he's the one who's got her taking it. He's being very different this time round, not just in how much he's doing but he seems happier and more relaxed with both Dc.

Maybe @MzHz. But I really don't think so. For one I'd never feel like I was losing face if it didn't work out, I just don't think like that. And I'm certain he knows it.
He's not denying anything, he's been very honest with everyone about why we separated.