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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bloody police - merry sodding Christmas

345 replies

NThound · 26/12/2019 14:44

More than 2 months ago I made a bloody stupid error and just slipped through a red light in queuing traffic though I had actually noticed that a police car was a few cars behind - I don't make a habit of breaking the law, but it does make it even more stupid. He pulled me over a bit up the road (which was horrible - never happened to me before in 15 years of driving) and I admitted my error of judgement and apologised. In my defense (I didn't say this to him as I didn't want to make excuses) it was awful traffic - we had been stuck there for ages and I was visiting an elderly relative who I rarely see and had to nip out for something and felt guilty and stressed at how long it was taking). It was my fault though I know.

Police man said he had written it up and would send it off but 'hopefully' I would hear nothing back in the light of my apology and clean license. He also checked my tyres as he said they were currently focussing on them but he then made no comment on them.

I had my MOT done two weeks later and it failed on one of the tyres, which I thought was odd but never mind. Weeks went by and I heard nothing then on Christmas fucking Eve came the letter. FFS. I have just logged on to try and book a course and I have less than two months to book it because this has taken more than two months to come through. In order to get it done in time I have a choice of two courses that are within 30 miles of me - I live in a central location between two biggish cities. It's ridiculous - I'm going to have to try and get time off but don't want to risk a refusal as then I'd be stuffed so may decide to call in sick, which is not something 'I want to do.

AIBU to think this is shit? If police think you have made an honest fuck-up they shouldn't 'write it up' and if they do it shouldn't be near enough impossible to book a course you have been offered because they have sat on it for more than 2 months?

OP posts:
Notanentitledwhinger · 26/12/2019 16:34

As the saying goes OP, when in a hole, stop digging.

Oulidae · 26/12/2019 16:37

Urgh I know hun, having to face consequences for breaking the law is so inconvenient and unfair. Fully reccomend trying to wriggle out of facing any consequence xx

Original poster
NThound · 26/12/2019 16:40

Haven't called anyone mean, or meeeeeaaaan, though one or two others have on my behalf, which is nice.

I accept IBU, but to be fair, a lot of people have focused on irrelevant things, like non-existent cars I nearly crashed into, or have said I want no punishment, which isn't the case.

To clarify - I shouldn't have gone through the light, I should check my tyres more regularly, I deserve a punishment, I have used a couple of American spellings, police have done nothing wrong. I apologise for saying 'bloody police' - he was just doing his job.

In my favour - I'm generally a good driver - I do think 15 years and A LOT of miles backs this up, but I accept it doesn't cancel out this offence.

We'll never agree - no way did I nearly cause an accident on that occasion, I'm calling in sick to do the course.

Thanks all.

OP posts:
Angrywife · 26/12/2019 16:44

Pretty much 98% of people will apologise and say it was a genuine error.
Are the police supposed to let all of them go?
No.
Grow up and accept you did wrong.

category12 · 26/12/2019 16:48

You really should use a day of annual leave or take an unpaid day's leave, not call in sick.

You seem a bit short in the moral compass department.

elmosducks · 26/12/2019 16:51

Ugh. You seem to think you are above the law.

You aren't.

Good drivers don't 'slip through' red lights.

Good drivers don't forget to maintain their vehicle.

Good people don't blame everyone else for their shortcomings.

My retired DF now teaches these speed awareness courses. He usually starts off asking why everyone is there and then writes down their excuses on the board.
He then tells them about one of the many fatal accidents he has attended over the years, usually involving a minor.

And then he asks them to imagine sitting in a room with the parents of that minor, and giving the justifications for their traffic offense as the reason they lost their child.

You need this course much more than you realise OP.

Fatted · 26/12/2019 16:53

You can always accept the fine and points. Or even better, decline that and take the matter to court. Protest your innocence there.

Creameggcountdown · 26/12/2019 16:55

All this saying I could have killed someone is tedious though - the policeman who witnessed it didn't say that. He said hopefully nothing would come of it. At no point dd he launch into a rant about how I could have caused an accident - and presumably he's seen a fair few. No one should go through red lights, including me, but if the road is visibly clear (which it was) it won't magically cause a crash with a non-existent car or pedestrian just because the light was red.
Sometimes I can’t believe what I read on here. This is one of them.
You have no remorse whatsoever. I’m sure all the other people that jumped red lights then killed someone had the same attitude as you.
Next time, and I’m sure there will be a next time as you don’t see anything wrong, you might not be so lucky

category12 · 26/12/2019 16:57

If everybody skipped a red light when it was convenient plus they'd been driving 15 years or more, I think we'd have a bit of a problem on our roads. We have rules for a reason.

I've been driving 25 years, perhaps I should be allowed to drive through red lights when I feel like it?

MorganKitten · 26/12/2019 17:03

Wow, you seem very entitled, you can break the law and it’s fine because it’s the first time...

Original poster
NThound · 26/12/2019 17:04

My retired DF now teaches these speed awareness courses. He usually starts off asking why everyone is there and then writes down their excuses on the board. He then tells them about one of the many fatal accidents he has attended over the years, usually involving a minor.

I'm sure your DF is very good at what he does, but this wouldn't necessarily get to me. As stated above, there is an 80% chance of survival if a child is hit by a car at 30mph and I was probably doing half that, at least. Over dramatising each and every offence committed as if they all carry the same risk is not all that helpful, imo.

I've been driving 25 years, perhaps I should be allowed to drive through red lights when I feel like it?

Yes, because that's what I've said Hmm.

I’m sure all the other people that jumped red lights then killed someone had the same attitude as you.

I'm pretty sure most people who kill at red lights are speeding along with not care for what is around them. But we can pretend they are all crawling along at 10mph if you like?

OP posts:
TheEmojiFormerlyKnownAsPrince · 26/12/2019 17:05

I’m a teacher, l had to take the points. I couldn’t get in a course outside my working hours, and couldn’t get a day off either

category12 · 26/12/2019 17:07

Pretty much you did - you think 15 years of driving without getting caught for anything should count for something.

Also, why do you think you're entitled to take a day off "sick" to avoid the consequences of your mistake?

Piggywaspushed · 26/12/2019 17:10

The bit about the time frame is a red herring. You are becoming more and more defensive about your actual offence and clearly think you are above consequences.

Anne Sacoolas had a string of minor traffic offences , too. In fact , even now, she thinks she fucked up and shouldn't have to face any severe consequences.

Choufleur · 26/12/2019 17:11

YABU. Dh is one of the people who literally has to pick up pieces of people who just had one drink, we’re going just a little too fast, we’re in a hurry ... he always says that learner drivers should be taken to the morgue and shown the body of someone who lost to a car or was in a car and it hit a tree or something. Would make people more aware of the impact of their actions

cabbageking · 26/12/2019 17:12

It is usually half a days course which there will be a charge for.

Probably cheaper than a chance of a £1000 fine or points.

You made a deliberate decision to risk injuring someone and breaking the law. There is nothing honest about it.

FlamingoAndJohn · 26/12/2019 17:14

Oh FFS, I looked at the junction and there was nothing coming. Wrong to go through the red light - just - but not dangerous as there was nothing there.

If you thought the light was green then you would have no need to look at the junction as oncoming cars would have a red light.
That you bothered to look and decide to go anyway shows that you knew it was a red light. It wasn’t a mistake, it was a choice.

Irishgene · 26/12/2019 17:14

You went through a red light, doesn't matter if traffic was crawling or not. Go in the course or take the points. YABVU.

Original poster
NThound · 26/12/2019 17:17

The bit about the time frame is a red herring. You are becoming more and more defensive about your actual offence and clearly think you are above consequences.

I'm really not. I've said time and again that I accept I was wrong and would not have ever been here had the letter come in a timely fashion.

Anne Sacoolas had a string of minor traffic offences , too. In fact , even now, she thinks she fucked up and shouldn't have to face any severe consequences.

I can't believe you're bringing this into it. Nice. Just because one person who has been involved in a major accident/incident also has a string of minor offences against them (I have one) doesn't mean that every person who commits a minor offence will go on to kill someone. You get that, right? Has your dh killed someone yet? After all, he jumped a red light then blamed his df's death and the red light not being visible, but he's allowed excuses while others aren't. Is that right?

OP posts:
Insideimsprinting · 26/12/2019 17:18

Depending on what police actually said to you at the time you may have had the nip at the time of the incident.
Almost sure It can be given verbally.
Lap it up op you cocked up. Deal with it like a grown up.

elmosducks · 26/12/2019 17:18

@NThound well as long as you quote stats that you think are in your favour (they are not) and only injure a person rather than kill them, then that's ok. Hmm

Ugh. You are not doing yourself any favours here at all.

WireBrushAndDettolMaam · 26/12/2019 17:20

I'm sure your DF is very good at what he does, but this wouldn't necessarily get to me.

No. Because you’re special. The rules don’t apply to you. For reasons. The consequences don’t apply to you. For reasons. And the potential outcome doesn’t apply to you. I’m sure for brilliant reasons too.

Your arrogance is quite galling. You actually believe you would sit in a speed awareness course (due to your own dangerous driving) and be unaffected by discussion of a child being killed by dangerous driving. You really do believe you are different than everyone else who breaks the law and attends those courses, don’t you?

OrangeTwirl · 26/12/2019 17:20

You jumped a red light and were caught 🤷‍♀️

Pay the fine and take the points

Justaboy · 26/12/2019 17:23

I've been through a few red lights! No one was killed perhaps a few lives were saved!

Theres a road junction near here near the ambulance station several times an ambulance is stuck there at this stupid place waiting for the lights which are on a rather long cycle, yes I've timed them, and I think who's life is ebbing away somewhere someones mate, bro, sister, mum dad etc.

So I've checked to make certain that I'm not going to endanger any one or thing and have indicated that I'm moving forward past the red light to let the ambulance pass then just reverse back to where I was i unless some idiot has moved in there. If the old bill were to ever see that then I'm quite prepared to defend my actions.

Its very easy to make small transgressions driving but there are various grades of that, consider what I did and the OP has done compared to what some drunken lout may do tearing through red lights pissed or off theri box on drugs, seen it happen:(

All ther same "tech" offence but all with differing outcomes some degree of offence "grade" needs appyling

Years ago if you were pulled for most anything chances were you'd get a bit of an earbend talking to and that would be that.

Is there any needs to fyou to go on this course really its not as if its habitual is it? The ex here went on a speed awareess course she was clocked at 32.5 in a 30 she was told, and did, drive around in third gear whilst in a 30 limit, never heard such bollix!

OP were you sent a NIP (Notice of Intended prosection) within 14 days of this event can you say?

Yetanotherwinter · 26/12/2019 17:23

All this saying I could have killed someone is tedious though - the policeman who witnessed it didn't say that. He said hopefully nothing would come of it. At no point dd he launch into a rant about how I could have caused an accident - and presumably he's seen a fair few. No one should go through red lights, including me, but if the road is visibly clear (which it was) it won't magically cause a crash with a non-existent car or pedestrian just because the light was red.

You are an absolute disgrace. I investigate fatal road accidents for a job. Your arrogance does you no favours. So you’ve decided to ignore a red light because you think the road is clear. That’s how fatal accidents happen. Someone’s life gets taken away by some idiot who thinks their visit to their relative is more important than the safety of other road users. Shame on you for your attitude and refusal to accept you have done something wrong.