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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bloody police - merry sodding Christmas

345 replies

NThound · 26/12/2019 14:44

More than 2 months ago I made a bloody stupid error and just slipped through a red light in queuing traffic though I had actually noticed that a police car was a few cars behind - I don't make a habit of breaking the law, but it does make it even more stupid. He pulled me over a bit up the road (which was horrible - never happened to me before in 15 years of driving) and I admitted my error of judgement and apologised. In my defense (I didn't say this to him as I didn't want to make excuses) it was awful traffic - we had been stuck there for ages and I was visiting an elderly relative who I rarely see and had to nip out for something and felt guilty and stressed at how long it was taking). It was my fault though I know.

Police man said he had written it up and would send it off but 'hopefully' I would hear nothing back in the light of my apology and clean license. He also checked my tyres as he said they were currently focussing on them but he then made no comment on them.

I had my MOT done two weeks later and it failed on one of the tyres, which I thought was odd but never mind. Weeks went by and I heard nothing then on Christmas fucking Eve came the letter. FFS. I have just logged on to try and book a course and I have less than two months to book it because this has taken more than two months to come through. In order to get it done in time I have a choice of two courses that are within 30 miles of me - I live in a central location between two biggish cities. It's ridiculous - I'm going to have to try and get time off but don't want to risk a refusal as then I'd be stuffed so may decide to call in sick, which is not something 'I want to do.

AIBU to think this is shit? If police think you have made an honest fuck-up they shouldn't 'write it up' and if they do it shouldn't be near enough impossible to book a course you have been offered because they have sat on it for more than 2 months?

OP posts:
Dipsydoodle · 26/12/2019 14:54

I understand the sentiment. Most of us have done things occasionally when driving that would have been three points or at least a ticking off if police were there (and anyone who says they haven't is most likely a fibber Grin), but you got unlucky this time as they were there so you'll just have to suck it up.

Billie87 · 26/12/2019 14:54

LOL! So you saw a police car, but still decided to drive through a red light and now annoyed about taking a day off work to go on a course? 😂😂😂

BlueBirdGreenFence · 26/12/2019 14:54

No sympathy at all. Some dickhead almost killed my wife by jumping the red light. Car was a write off and she stopped driving for a couple of years from the fright she got. The only difference between you and them is luck.

Original poster
NThound · 26/12/2019 14:55

Teacup If I have read your post correctly the police have their timings wrong here? I have not received an NIP at all.

Antihop two months would be plenty of time but there are hardly any courses available.

I can't book leave - none left.

OP posts:
zebra22 · 26/12/2019 14:55

YABVVU

LeggyLinda · 26/12/2019 14:55

YABU.
By your own admission you fucked up. It may have been out of character, you may have even had extenuating circumstances, but you fucked up.
Apologies are all good and well, but they don’t make the situation right again. Bite the bullet, take the training course and sort your tyres out. Both you and road users in general will be grateful.

OhTheRoses · 26/12/2019 14:55

Ring and explain it has taken two months to come through and ask if they can extend the booking period. If not speak to your employer about why you need the time off. They wouldn't refuse I am sure in the circumstances.

I did a speed awareness course about 9 months ago after driving for 40 years. It was very educational and I think I am a better driver for it.

It isn't the fault of the police that you need to do this.

WireBrushAndDettolMaam · 26/12/2019 14:55

If police think you have made an honest fuck-up they shouldn't 'write it up'

You’re hilarious! Grin

An “honest fuck up” is when you didn’t realise it was red/weren’t paying attention. You deliberately and knowingly ran the red light because you were fed up waiting in traffic despite already seeing the police car behind you. There was nothing “fuck up” about that. You deliberately broke the law because it suited you to.

and if they do it shouldn't be near enough impossible to book a course you have been offered because they have sat on it for more than 2 months?

They don’t just have you to deal with. There are thousands of other selfish entitled dangerous drivers like you to process. This is your punishment, it’s not supposed to be easy or convenient.

It's ridiculous

No it’s perfectly right. You’re ridiculous.

Reallybadidea · 26/12/2019 14:56

I think it's understandable to feel frustrated that it has taken so long for this to have been processed, making it difficult to attend the course. Especially as they'd told you that hopefully nothing would come of it. I'd have assumed that it was not going any further after this length of time too. You're going to get roasted on here though. On MN driving offences are on a par with eating babies in terms of generating moral outrage.

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 26/12/2019 14:56

If you can't book leave request unpaid. Don't make it worse by lying to your employer....Hmm

TheWinterCaillech · 26/12/2019 14:57

Do you really think anyone is going to sympathise with a dangerous driver who jumped a red light? Any one of us, or our children could have been on the receiving end of your stupidity.
Take the points if you can’t do the course, and face the fact you are not a good or safe driver.

BlueBirdGreenFence · 26/12/2019 14:57

How was there no chance of an accident? Confused

WireBrushAndDettolMaam · 26/12/2019 14:57

nothing like this or an accident has ever happened to me before.

This didn’t happen to you. You caused it.

BraveSpiritKindHeart · 26/12/2019 14:58

YABU. Grow up and take responsibility for your own errors. You broke the law not the police. It's morally reprehensible to take a day off sick for this - why should your employer pay you for breaking the law!? You can take a day unpaid.

You failing MOT has nothing to do with the police. It's your responsibility to make sure your car is road worthy.

TheChippendenSpook · 26/12/2019 14:58

When you get a traffic offence report ticket, it gets sent to a central office and somebody in there decides the outcome. The officer who dealt with you can write their recommendations on the back of the slip so that's probably why he thought nothing would come of it.

LionelRitchieStoleMyNotebook · 26/12/2019 15:00

So you drove through a red light and hadn't safely maintained your tyres, but the police should let you off? Why because you're a woman, middle class? You broke the law, they're only asking you to attend the course so you don't make the same bad decisions in future. Suck it up, either go or take the points. The only person you should be angry with is yourself. How many young black men do you think make an actual genuine fuck up and end up in prison? Get over yourself. You willfully broke the law, accept the consequences.

Original poster
NThound · 26/12/2019 15:00

I didn't nearly kill anyone - I didn't sail through it without looking, the road was clear. I'm not saying it makes it right, but there's no need to make out I almost killed someone when I didn't.

My employer could well be an arsehole about it so don't want to risk being honest and I don't want points as that would stress me out as I'm reliant on the car and I also can't afford insurance going up.

I'm going to look into whether they should have issued a NIP sooner.

OP posts:
BraveSpiritKindHeart · 26/12/2019 15:01

'My employer could well be an arsehole about it'

That would make two of you then.

SevenStones · 26/12/2019 15:01

I did a speed awareness course about 9 months ago after driving for 40 years. It was very educational and I think I am a better driver for it.

I've done one and yes, me too. Totally changed the way I think about driving.

Relish the opportunity to learn something, OP, instead of stamping your feet and saying it's not fair.

katseyes7 · 26/12/2019 15:01

l once got a speeding notice because l was late for work. 34mph in a 30 zone. lronically, l was hurrying because l worked in a police station.
l'd left home on time, but l got stuck at every red light on the way and the traffic was busier than usual. l didn't want to be late for the start of my shift.
Fair enough. My fault, l was the one with my foot on the accelerator.

WhereverIMayRoam · 26/12/2019 15:01

I can never understand why in these situations people think allowances should be made for them, that their circumstances are so different and special Confused. The police don’t know you or your 15 years driving experience and frankly it’s not relevant. Do the course or take the points. The inconvenience of this experience might help focus your mind next time!

LionelRitchieStoleMyNotebook · 26/12/2019 15:01

As for the delay, the overstretched and understaffed police service have other priorities than your driving negligence.

bridgetreilly · 26/12/2019 15:02

So, you broke the law and you are now complaining that you have to face the consequences in a way that may not be the most convenient possible for you?

Wow. Entitled, much?

Okbutno · 26/12/2019 15:02

I think if you've broken the law. They probably don't care if the courses are inconvenient for you and mean you have to take leave. You could take the points of you're that bothered.

twoheaped · 26/12/2019 15:03

Take unpaid leave and do the course.

How you can say running a red light you were at no risk of causing an accident is reason enough to go and do the course.
Sounds like you could learn a lot.