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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think they should’ve done this in private?

39 replies

fairynick · 26/12/2019 11:09

Christmas Day yesterday and my sister and I only have a year between us. Both early twenties.
Uncle and Aunty arrived with a gift bag for each of us. All other family members usually give us exactly the same because we have similar tastes etc. They got us both a big bar of chocolate, gloves and a little purse. Which was really nice and generous of them. I don’t ever expect anything and I understand that you don’t give to receive.
However, my sister then had a fourth present which was a passport holder with 50 euros inside. Both of us are going abroad separately in the new year.
I understand that if they want to spend more on my sister than I then they are well within their rights to but was it not a bit weird to get us both exactly the same then one extra for one sister. Or they could’ve given her the cash in private rather than in front of everyone else. Or am I just being a brat over it?

OP posts:
LeekMunchingSheepShagger · 26/12/2019 11:11

That was shitty of them. Are you sure they know you’re going away too?

Original poster
fairynick · 26/12/2019 11:13

They might not know I’m going away, that is possible tbf.

OP posts:
LondonBus38 · 26/12/2019 11:13

How rotten of them! Yes, of course they can give whatever they want but that was horribly insensitive.

WorraLiberty · 26/12/2019 11:14

Well if they might not know, that's your question answered Confused

YABU.

Original poster
fairynick · 26/12/2019 11:15

They are really well off so my mum thinks they probably just found it round the house and shoved it in and thought nothing, so I know it won’t have been done maliciously as they are a bit dozy but I still think it’s insensitive. Especially because I’ve offered to house sit for them over the next few days when everyone else said no.

OP posts:
BooksAreMyOnlyFriends · 26/12/2019 11:16

That certainly seems odd. Did they see you open the presents? Could it have been an oversight? It might have fallen out or they forgot to put it in.

LondonBus38 · 26/12/2019 11:16

Even if they don't know you are going away too, timing wasn't brilliant. A bit crass.

Original poster
fairynick · 26/12/2019 11:18

Yeah they watched eagerly as we opened them 😂

OP posts:
BlueBirdGreenFence · 26/12/2019 11:18

Is your sister their Godchild or something? Others that is a bit twatty.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 26/12/2019 11:18

YANBU. They should treat you equally.

Dozer · 26/12/2019 11:20

They were rude, unless they don’t know you’re also going away, in which case you’re BU.

Original poster
fairynick · 26/12/2019 11:21

No not their godchild, were usually treated equally and they are always very very generous. I’m not going to fall out with them about it or anything but just struck me as odd and was unsure if I was being a madam 😂

OP posts:
Dozer · 26/12/2019 11:22

The most likely explanation is that they don’t know you are going away too. Your sister should share the money with you IMO!

churchandstate · 26/12/2019 11:22

Bit strange! It might have been for someone else, wrapped in error for your sister and then they sat there feeling very awkward as she unwrapped it.

Parkrunner25 · 26/12/2019 11:25

Clutching at straws here, but as you said they're usually quite "balanced" - could they be planning to give you a similar gift as a "thank you " for house sitting and feel that this is an easy way to make things even?

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 26/12/2019 11:26

...well, they were a but thoughtless, but as you said, it's their money and they can do what they like with it. What do you get them?

Original poster
fairynick · 26/12/2019 11:27

I suppose that’s also possible! I know it won’t have been done purposefully and will have been an oversight but it was just so awkward hahaha

OP posts:
Original poster
fairynick · 26/12/2019 11:28

I got them a date night curry subscription for three months, DSis forgot so her name was put on it as well and she ended up with the better present 😂 but you don’t give to receive and I was really happy when my uncle said it was his favourite present he’d received!

OP posts:
joystir59 · 26/12/2019 11:31

Grow up. You said it yourself, you never expect anything and don't give to receive, so just don't waste a second more energy on this OP

Bluerussian · 26/12/2019 11:32

airynick Thu 26-Dec-19 11:13:14
They might not know I’m going away, that is possible tbf.
......
I think that is the most likely reason, people aren't usually so insensitive and they obviously care about you.

TW2013 · 26/12/2019 11:33

Well about time to remind her to give you half the cost of the present, you will of course accept Euros!

Hopoindown31 · 26/12/2019 11:35

Can't you and sis have 25 euros each? Surprised she didn't offer that tbh.

BooksAreMyOnlyFriends · 26/12/2019 11:40

I don't think the op needs to grow up. It's not unusual feel upset and confused when you feel left out, surely? The aunt and uncle are absolutely at fault here. I have two sets of nephews/nieces and they are treated equally.

Yes make sure you get half the present from your sis, op. Just out of interest, what a great present idea, is it a curry that gets delivered?

Wereallsquare · 26/12/2019 11:40

You have stated that they might not know that you are going away. Therefore for your own peace of mind, be generous in your interpretation and let this go. If you let little things like this bother you to the point of asking on MN, your life will be miserable. Be grateful and stop comparing.

MimiCaeger · 26/12/2019 11:44

Yanbu but for your own sake just let it blow over.
Also just because I’m nosey, and google yeilded nothing. What is a date night curry subscription?

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