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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mom's finding love later on in life.

46 replies

suhaansmom · 26/12/2019 11:00

I know this may not be a AIBU but I really need the traffic. So, I just split from my daughter's father and she is 20 months. I am only 33 and I have one child. I am a very positive person that in time I would find love again but I love the reminders. So please mumsnetters: tell me encoruraging stories of moms finding love later on in life. I am all ears and thank you all for all your time.

OP posts:
Songsofexperience · 26/12/2019 11:25

Sorry you're not 'later in life' in your early 30s!
I thought you meant 70!

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 26/12/2019 11:27

I too went on expecting read a story of someone’s mum (aged 87) finding love with the chap next door at the retirement home and whether or not it is appropriate what with him being a tomboy (and aged 82)!

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 26/12/2019 11:28

Toyboy - not tomboy! (Effing autocorrect!)

PenCreed · 26/12/2019 11:29

Later in life? I met my husband when I was 33, that’s not “later”! My friend met her husband at our wedding, she was 37 at that point, and I know plenty others who were older than that when they met their partners. Stop writing yourself off before you’ve started.

Happierwithouthim · 26/12/2019 11:29

I split from my husband at 35 & definitely didn't consider myself later in life. I've two children & will be 37 in Feb. I started dating again when I was separated 11 months. It's entirely possible!

People find love at all times in life.

Give yourself time to repair yourself though rather than a rebound relationship.

fromnowhere · 26/12/2019 11:30

Smile I also thought this would be about someone's elderly mother finding love!
Seriously, don't worry about it, if it's meant to be it will be. Focus on your child and making your life what you want it to be. If love comes along, you will be in the right place to receive it.
You are so young in the grand scheme of things.

RogueV · 26/12/2019 11:30

You are not later in life you are young!

thebakerwithboobs · 26/12/2019 11:31

As above, you're 33 😂

TheMustressMhor · 26/12/2019 11:31

I have a feeling this thread isn't going the way you envisaged it.

I have to agree that you're hardly over the hill yet and there is plenty of time for you to find a new relationship.

I myself started a new relationship when I was 44 and we're still together, 20 years later.

Ullupullu · 26/12/2019 11:33

OP do you mean you are not planning to date or be with someone until your daughter is grown up? So by "Later in life" you mean when you are in your fifties? Though even that wouldn't be that old...

Wallabye · 26/12/2019 11:34

True fact OP - MN think everybody is young.

shitwithsugaron · 26/12/2019 11:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheDarkPassenger · 26/12/2019 11:37

Hi my story is a little different as I was ten years younger but I had a child and a fiancé I was due to marry. Then he had an affair, then I realised I wasn’t even bothered that he’d had one so I split with him, it was very messy and horrid and we had to cancel a wedding, get rid of a stupidly huge house etc. I felt like I was past it. 23 and could have been divorcing.. had a child with someone already, a house to get rid of, pets, joint finances, his gambling addiction debt and I just got diagnosed with bipolar disorder myself. I was basically tied to him as he has bad mental health problems too that I helped him with and cared for him (he’s still a good friend of mine) so it just felt like the chances of meeting someone that wanted t take on all that baggage was just non existent, I cried for what I thought was the end of the road for me in meeting my ‘true love’

Then I met my partner and now we’ve got three children, a house, getting married and he’s utterly perfect and I think he thinks a fair bit of me too so don’t give up! :) I’ve learned there’s nothing wrong with blended families, in fact I’d say we are closer than other families we know and we have lots of people around us supporting us wth the children and being in their lives.

churchandstate · 26/12/2019 11:38

33 isn’t ‘young’ young but it’s not ‘later on’ in life either.

Fairylea · 26/12/2019 11:39

Later in life?! Many people don’t even get married or meet anyone until mid 30s anyway!

I met my second dh when I was 31, I had a 6 year old dd. We met online and have now been married 11 years and have a 7 year old son together.

Wallabye · 26/12/2019 11:39

It is in childbearing terms, in fairness.

Bunnyfuller · 26/12/2019 11:43

YABU:

  1. 33 is not later in life. Or even near it
  2. Allow yourself time to heal from this split, and navigate a way forward for you and your baby
  3. Plurals don’t need an apostrophe (I know, I know, I just couldn’t hold it in 🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈)
churchandstate · 26/12/2019 11:43

Wallabye

True, but that’s a bit of a weird one because 12 year olds can give birth but nobody suggests they should be trying to find love.

Wallabye · 26/12/2019 11:45

What the hell church?

churchandstate · 26/12/2019 11:46

Wallabye

The point being that whether or not one is of childbearing age isn’t a barometer of one’s chances of finding love. The OP is relatively young.

Wallabye · 26/12/2019 11:47

Do you think about twelve year olds finding love? That’s really inappropriate

Ponoka7 · 26/12/2019 11:48

Do you want more children OP? because that's the only reason why you should be worrying about this.

I'm in my 50's and lots of people from your age upwards are getting into relationships and remarrying etc.

It's true that as you age the dating pool becomes smaller, but there will be possibilities.

churchandstate · 26/12/2019 11:48

Wallabye

Do you have comprehension problems? Hmm

Wallabye · 26/12/2019 11:48

You definitely have problems if you fantasise about twelve year olds finding love. What the actual hell.

Ponoka7 · 26/12/2019 11:49

@churchandstate, as I said the dating pool becomes smaller and if a decent man is wanting children, they want women 31 and under.

So it is relevant.

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