Mom's finding love later on in life.

[suhaansmom]

I know this may not be a AIBU but I really need the traffic. So, I just split from my daughter's father and she is 20 months. I am only 33 and I have one child. I am a very positive person that in time I would find love again but I love the reminders. So please mumsnetters: tell me encoruraging stories of moms finding love later on in life. I am all ears and thank you all for all your time.

and if a decent man is wanting children, they want women 31 and under.

Rubbish. I know lots of women having children in their middle thirties and later. But anyway, there’s no reason the OP won’t find love in her thirties or later. The dating pool might be a little smaller, but there’s no reason to worry.

I don't think it's uncommon to 'start again' in your 30s or 40s, or even older in the U.K., but in the US where I think the OP will be, they do tend to marry earlier as far as I know so maybe 30s seems older than it would to us in the U.K.?

Wallabye

Try a literacy tutor. Seriously.

You’re the one talking about 12 year olds giving birth.

So funny, I didn't meet my ex p until I was around that age. Where on earth do you live that 33 is classed as late in life

I really doubt whether men think about women's ages when considering breeding.

They almost certainly have no idea about the optimum ages for childbearing, so it would hardly be a consideration.

OP I too read the title and thought you meant that your elderly mum had a new bloke or something but yes, at 33 you definitely can find someone else. I left my (abusive) ex when I was 30 and a few short years later me and my kids recently moved in with my partner and I honestly never expected to find someone else but it’s all good and we’re really happy.

Btw @churchandstate I got what you meant. I’m at the hysterical poster accusing you of “fantasising about 12 year olds” wtf?!

Later life means literally that doesn’t it, like significantly closer to death?

33 is not fucking later life!

@Ponoka7 why specifically 31?

There are so many opportunities out there and you have plenty of time so absolutely no reason to rush at all. I suppose it all depends on how long you want to take before jumping back into dating and what you look for in a potential partner.

churchandstate I also understood what you meant and cant quite fathom the woeful (or willful?) misunderstanding that would twist that into you fantasizing about children giving birth

if a decent man is wanting children, they want women 31 and under.

I really don't agree. Many of my male friends are still at the dating stage, most have said that they do want children at some point and none of them are specifically looking for women in their twenties (though I'm sure they wouldnt discount a younger woman out of hand). They range from 32 - 37.

HideYourBabiesAndYourBeadwork

DawgLover

Yes, that was weird.

I think the OP was looking for hopeful stories of people finding love again after a split, not berating about her choice of phrasing sorry OP I am still stuck with my first DH but hopefully someone will be along shortly with a nice story.

@DawgLover, it will be interesting to see what age of woman they pick to settle down with. Dating is one thing, settling is another.

@Mimithemouse, because of fertility dropping and the way the ages are categorised on dating websites.

As said I'm in my 50's and single. I have friends and my DD's do, who are on dating websites etc. I'm just going by my own personal experiences and those I know.

But, when it comes to men who aren't bothered about more children, then it's different.

@Ponoka7 You are talking out of your ar*e sorry

Ponoka7 of the ones who have settled down so far?
One (now 36) - a woman 2 years younger, met via online dating. Married last year
Second (39) - same age, high school sweetheart reunited type thing. Not married, don't know if they ever will.
Third (35) - his fiance is 32, a friends younger sister.
Last one - him 34, her 36/37. Met through work, got engaged after 6 months, married just less than 18 months after meeting. She's pregnant, they have a dog - the whole 2.0 family set up.

These are friends either of my own, or my partner. So I really don't agree at all. These aren't guys out for a quick fling, they are looking for longer term relationships (bar one guy I know). So frankly your dating vs settling comment is bullshit.

That's my experience of men in the typical age bracket that both me and OP fall into.

Thank you guys so much for all the responses. I went to dinner with a few close friends. Crispyturtle understood my post. Sorry, mumsnetters English is my second language. If it helps I come from a muslim ethnic background where women get married in their 20's (young). So, as a 33 year old single mom I wanted to hear positive stories of people falling in love again after a split. Hubby left me and I am happy. He was a coward and I regret marrying the twat.

shitwithsugaron thank you for understanding. It is nice to know that I am not alone. I moved back in with my parents and decided to go back to university. I was thinking of becoming a teacher. I want to be more financially stable for my daughter.

To me you're in the first flush of youth but I'm very happy for you. Have fun.

Happierwithouthim: yes I want to give myself time to repair myself. The last thing I want is a rebound relationship. Thank you so much for sharing your story. It does give me hope that there are decent nice men out there. Ponoka7: yes I would love to have more children. I also want to meet my soulmate (love of my life). My exhusband and I had an arranged marriage. We were not compatible and we didn't enjoy each other's company. It was only after we got married and I had a baby that I realized that we both somewhat settled. I was happy to keep my marriage but he left me. He had a wandering eye and like I said I regret marrying the twat. Sorry mumsnetters English is my second language. I hope you understand my post.