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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do your teenagers swear around you..?

57 replies

Parsley65 · 26/12/2019 09:32

I don't remember any conversations about this when I was younger, but neither me or my older siblings ever swore in front of my parents. I remember going out with my siblings one day and being surprised that they swore quite a lot outside the family home.

I rarely swear and don't particularly like it. My teens tell me I'm old fashioned and that everybody does it. I pick them up on it on the fairly rare times that they do it. I think it's disrespectful, but wonder if I'm being unreasonable. What happens in your home?

OP posts:
PrincessHoneysuckle · 26/12/2019 10:16

Ds is only 5 but dh and I have agreed that if the odd word slipped out in his teens we'd let it slide as we swear quite a lot (not directed at ds) just in general.

Serin · 26/12/2019 10:21

21, 19 and 17.
I have never heard them swear.
I swear a lot and they joke that it is because I have a very poor vocabulary.
Hmm

QuickstepQueen · 26/12/2019 10:23

Yes sometimes.

SlightlyStaleCocoPops · 26/12/2019 10:26

I'm 34 and if I ever swore in front if my mother she'd kill me.

Gatehouse77 · 26/12/2019 10:28

Essentially, no but we're not as strict as we used to be because they're older.
As younger children (roughly U15) it was a definite no-no but not punishable with more than a stern look or "Oi!"

DH and I do swear but it's not part of our everyday language. DH does a lot more than me but, I suspect, that after many years of looking after other people's children and in schools I'm better at filtering it out.

Swearing has its place and we're no prudes but we don't like hearing youngsters swear and I'd rather they learnt to express themselves without it and then know how to use it for emphasis.

I love a good old "shit, fuck, bollox!"

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 26/12/2019 10:29

I don’t swear. DH has always sworn a lot, every third word type of swearing. My young adult ds swear occasionally. It’s not something I care about.

Pjsandbaileys · 26/12/2019 10:33

Not at me or Infront of me towards a sibling but what I would call in context. Drop something on toe, frustration at someone's behaviour etc but it's not often and NEVER Infront of granny haha

Toomboom · 26/12/2019 10:35

I have had 4 teenagers. None of them have even sworn in front of me. I am sure they do on their own with friends, but never at home. I don't swear, so they respect my stance and just never do it in front of me.

TheSparkling · 26/12/2019 10:38

We do with the if they are old enough to watch a film with the word in then they are old enough to use it properly. I do swear a lot, I rarely hear the teens use swear words though although I think they use more when I am not around.
I don't mind as long is it is not excessive and not used in front of the grandparents.

Emptybox · 26/12/2019 10:39

Ours do, we do. Not to abuse, though. Swearing is part of language use, and we’ve always felt that if you tell children not to swear, they are the ones that are loudly offensively cursing when they are out and about.
We encouraged ‘context appropriate’ swearing. Stubbing your toe and shouting ‘oh bollocks!’ is appropriate in that context, so it’s ok. Shouting’oh bollocks!’ when there’s no milk isn’t appropriate, so you get into trouble.

ivykaty44 · 26/12/2019 10:40

Yes they did & still do

Emptybox · 26/12/2019 10:41

It worked for us.

minionsrule · 26/12/2019 10:41

Nope DS is 14 and he once said shit in front of me but was mortified.
I'm fairly relaxed but he knows i don't want to hear him swearing even if i know he does it with his mates

MilkTrayLimeBarrel · 26/12/2019 10:43

I really hate swearing - it actually upsets me. One of the things I really liked about DH when I met him was that he never swore - over the years, it has crept in and now he is always swearing. It is just so unnecessary.

MsMellivora · 26/12/2019 10:46

We all swear a bit but I have always said not everyone is like us so be aware. Granny is here for the week and fuck is currently replaced by fiddlesticks.

I do love his language evolves though and that includes swearing. Have read a couple of book on old insults and bad language.

Ohyesiam · 26/12/2019 10:48

In our house swearing is ok, but swearing at someone is definitely not. Both kids respect this. They also know not to swear in-front of grandparents / teachers etc.

I like swearing, I like how emphatic it is and I think it serves a purpose.
It’s been linked to something worth having/ being, like good vocabulary levels ( ironically) our emotional intelligence our somethingXmas Smile

I was really good at not swearing when they were little, but when they got taller then me a switch flicked in my head and i I reverted back to pre child sweariness.

JaceLancs · 26/12/2019 10:53

No they didn’t - and I wouldn’t swear in front of them
Now they are 26 and 28 we occasionally let rip if appropriate - but not often
I’m 55 and still would not swear in front of my DM of 80

Radyio · 26/12/2019 10:55

No.

I swear loads though. It wouldn't bother if they swore if the stubbed their toe of something.

FudgeBrownie2019 · 26/12/2019 10:56

DS1 is 14 and occasionally swears. DS2 is 8 and every now and then tries new ones out - generally to see what kind of reaction he'll get.

DH and I both swear at odd times, never at the DC, but they've heard us. I don't think I'd go nuts about it, though. I don't swear in front of my parents though. No idea why, they're just not the swearing types and I think I've only heard my Dad use "fuck" twice in my life.

TeenPlusTwenties · 26/12/2019 10:57

DH & I don't swear. DD2 doesn't in front of us and I don't think does at all.
DD1 does occasionally and I pull her up on it. This is because she isn't good at adapting to surroundings and works with children / customer service. So if she can't adapt she needs to not swear at all.

RoseMartha · 26/12/2019 11:09

I dont swear and have a no swearing rule which the dc with asd constantly breaks but she finds it hard to control it. She will mainly swear directed at us personally. This is not acceptable and is made aware of this when she does it. She thinks if she can swear around her peers it is ok to swear at home and I get told I am old fashioned and boring, however the rule is not going to change to suit her.

Iwantacookie · 26/12/2019 11:16

Yes and no. Ds1 constantly swearing in talking to friends.
Dd drops ones in here and there
Ds2 if he hurts himself will ask me if he can swear then will say bugger

TheHumansAreDefinitelyDead · 26/12/2019 11:19

My teens swear a lot with their mates bit can turn it off completely with us, their grandparents etc

To me that matters, it is about respect and about them judging social situations ie it is about them being a bit grown up about it

Ludways · 26/12/2019 11:21

I've only ever sworn in front of my parents once and I'm in my 50's. I have a dc in their twenties and 2 teenagers, non have ever sworn in from of me. My 18yo DS doesn't swear at all, the other two admit they do occasionally.

Nanny0gg · 26/12/2019 11:29

I do wonder if this is why swearing is so 'acceptable' in public now.

I do swear in the privacy of my own home, but never in front of the DGC. My DC wouldn't think twice about 'shit' or lesser swear words.

But I hate walking along the street and hearing 'fuck' and other words used so casually in front of all and sundry now.