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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask her to take it back and exchange it

69 replies

namechanege · 26/12/2019 01:40

Name changed for this!

DM bought me a handbag for Christmas one that I’ve wanted for years and could never afford to buy myself.
However I feel super ungrateful because I don’t like the size or the print on it (number of sizes and prints available in said bag). I don’t want to come across as an ungrateful cow which is how I feel but I don’t want to keep something I don’t feel I’ll end up using a lot because of the size issue.

OP posts:

IfOnlyOurEyesSawSouls · 27/12/2019 00:15

@Panpastels no, Mumsnet is the different planet.

TBH id rather inhabit my planet than the one where i read about stuff like this .

maras2 · 27/12/2019 00:20

OMG Nearly £1000 for a shopping bag

anon2000000000 · 27/12/2019 00:25

Swap it for a different one.

I can tell you this about the neverfull. My husband bought me this bag, we customised it on the website and collected it.

The amount of people who have asked me what market I bought it at is so frustrating. There are copies of this bag everywhere so much so that I don't use my bag and I love it so much but everyone and their granny has this bag.

CoolCarrie · 27/12/2019 00:30

Most designer bags look fake, even when they aren’t...!

Madhatterhouse · 27/12/2019 00:31

Newsflash - some people have more disposable income than others. If you find it distasteful that the OP received it as a gift just move on, what’s the point of commenting with snide remarks?

I don’t think you’re being ungrateful for telling her you’d get more use out of a different style/size but only you know how she’d take that.

Frozenfan2019 · 27/12/2019 00:35

Panpastels I am with you on your planet. OP it's a handbag. Change it don't change it who gives a fuck.

If it really did cost £700 you could have a holiday you'll never forget for that money (and a replica handbag.) I know people would say I am being judgemental but I am also right.

To answer your question though yes ywbu to ask to change it. Your mum has just spent a fortune on you and you haven't any guarantee it's possible for her to change it. She may have bought it ages ago or in a sale with a no returns policy, if you mention wanting to change it then that ruins the giving for her and you can't take that back.

Karenisbaren · 27/12/2019 00:38

You have wanted this bag for years, so someone has kindly bought it for you and now you have decided you do not want it?

Frozenfan2019 · 27/12/2019 00:41

Madhatterhouse don't want to derail the thread but it's not about disposable income. Do you honestly think those of us who find spending £1000 on a bag a bit much are all poor? Is it not possible we find it distatesteful to spend that while we walk to work past homeless people's sleeping in shop doorways?

I bought a Jimmy Choo bag the other week from a charity shop. It cost £3..i actually have to tell people it's fake because I am embarrassed they think I might have bought a real chance one. I probably will get rid of it to be honest, I just liked the bag.

In some circles it's not considered impressive to have a bag worth a month salary.

Pardonwhat · 27/12/2019 00:42

YANBU.
Your mum would want you to have it right after she’d spent so much money to ensure maximum use, I’m sure. Just do it in the kind way of ‘a different size being more practical day-to-day’ already suggested!!
And ignore the odd influx of posts berating you for having a mum with disposable income to spend on whatever she pleases.

Pardonwhat · 27/12/2019 00:43

Frozenfan2019

But the VAT paid on the £1000 handbag, plus the employment it’s provided isn’t ‘lost money’.
It takes private wealth and recirculates it.

Nanny0gg · 27/12/2019 00:49

Is it not possible we find it distatesteful to spend that while we walk to work past homeless people's sleeping in shop doorways?

I bet we all spend money on 'unnecessary' stuff that we could give to more worthy recipients. It doesn't only apply to the wealthy.

Rachelfromfriends1 · 27/12/2019 01:06

In my wider social circle, my peers buy luxury items as they can comfortably afford it, or they may have been gifted. I agree that overt designer items like this bag can be considered distasteful in certain circles. I work in finance and the (very!) high earners go for understated items instead with no obvious branding.

I agree that the Neverfull is a basic option, it is very popular. Not that it really matters if that’s what you want though! I think it’s a bit cheeky to expect your mum to stump up the extra cost so that’s something to consider.

I always see bloggers with impractical bags like this one and wonder why they would spend so much money on it, but I suppose that’s part of the allure of buying luxury items, they want something unique/special/exclusive etc as it adds to the premium experience. 🤷🏼‍♀️

PyongyangKipperbang · 27/12/2019 01:06

If its LV everyone will assume its fake anyway so sell it, buy the fake in the pattern you like and spend the change on a nice day out for you and your mum. Just dont take it out when you are with her for a few months and she will forget which one she bought.

bogginmacaroni · 27/12/2019 01:21

I think it's incredible that a bag that cost that much can actually leak dye onto your clothes. Talk about a rip off.

Madhatterhouse · 27/12/2019 09:16

@Frozenfan2019 I accept your point re: it not necessarily being about disposable income.

As an aside, I’d implore you to read up on the links between counterfeit goods and the funding of terrorism.

Owlsintowels · 27/12/2019 09:33

Frozenfan2019 a holiday you'll never forget for £700, really? Unless you mean OP having a night or two solo in a posh hotel, and I'm not sure I'd call that 'a holiday', what sort of family holiday of a lifetime could you get for £700? A weeks camping in the New Forest including pub lunches for 4 should be covered by it, I'm not sure much else would

Sunflower20 · 27/12/2019 09:47

Definitely ask your mum to exchange it. But for a different size it would cost more unless you want it smaller?

Jinglebellissimo · 27/12/2019 09:50

Is it not possible we find it distatesteful to spend that while we walk to work past homeless people's sleeping in shop doorways?

Surely then people shouldn’t have the audacity to spend hundreds of thousands of pounds on buying houses then?

Op - you know your mum, is she likely to be offended if you ask to swap it?

alibongo5 · 27/12/2019 09:52

OMG Nearly £1000 for a shopping bag

Exactly what I thought!

ShirleyPhallus · 27/12/2019 09:53

If it really did cost £700 you could have a holiday you'll never forget for that money

Where could you possibly go on holiday for £700 that you’d never forget?!

Wildorchidz · 27/12/2019 09:56

I agree that overt designer items like this bag can be considered distasteful in certain circles

You’re very funny 😁

Wildorchidz · 27/12/2019 09:57

Op - ask your mum to change the bag for the size and colour you prefer.

Equanimitas · 27/12/2019 09:58

she would need to make the initial reach out.

Why would she reach out? Surely she just has to contact them.

ShootTheRunner · 27/12/2019 10:03

If I was spending that much on a gift I would want the recipient to be completely happy with it! Just had a look at the bag on the website and lots of the options are unavailable so can you even swap?

Ohpleasefuckofflove · 27/12/2019 10:09

I must be Satan for what I got for Christmas by some of you folk on here. People do Christmas differently. I love LV. I realise there are lots of fakes, it doesn’t matter what people think, I know it’s real. And I love mine. Change it OP, though I will say if it’s the light one, I hated mine when I first got it after my last one was stolen but a year on I love it. I got the neverful on Christmas too! I love mine. Medium Size, brown squared (easiest way to describe) with the light pink inside. DPs father then spilt a little bit of red wine, and a few drops went inside. I cried on Christmas night!

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