Lack of effort on gift and nothing from DS

[Loz604]

obviously I've not said anything at the risk of sounding ungrateful....

DP and I each sort our own families for presents Christmas day. And I also sorted DS gifts for his first Christmas.
DP got me a bath set this year and nothing from DS. I know Christmas isn't the same and a big deal for adults but I felt very disheartened about it all day.... aibu? Maybe more sensitive than I need to be as my mum passed this year so I'm already emotional as she is normally with us Chritmas day.

AIBU to have expected a little more thought to have gone into my gift.

I'm afraid you're going to have to spell it out to him very clearly as to what you expect him to do, even going so far as telling him what to buy.

This strikes me as a really sad way to conduct a relationship. The point is not that he got the 'wrong' thing, but that he put so little thought and effort in to choosing something. The suggestion that the OP should put MORE thought and effort in to avoid his lack of care upsetting her doesn't seem like much of a solution to me.

I send my DH a wish list and he buys me things off it. I buy him a cricket club membership and his half of money from our parents to go his train fare and lunches during the season.

Being upset because he didn't buy you a gift from a baby is ridiculous. Surely this sort of nonsense didn't happen until recently. A present from a baby means precisely nothing. Wait until your child is old enough to choose something themselves. It will actually mean something then.

We don’t do specific presents from the kids, but I always throw in an extra one from them in theory because the gifts are from us as a family but we don’t make a Thing out of it.

In terms of “hard to buy for” - absolute bullshit, you will have a fav perfume I expect? A preferred skin care brand, enjoy a particular type of book or music, like the cinema? Enjoy cooking? You will have lots of things you enjoy he could have taken inspiration from. Even if you are “hard” to buy for, a voucher for hairdressers, manicure, massage, afternoon tea - anything!
Unless the bath set is a beautiful luxurious totally over the top amazing set from Harrods or equivalent then YANBU to feel a bit disappointed.
You can buy a bath set in Asda ffs.
It took him zero effort. I would be upset too.