Relatives who are still here!

[girlygirl98]

Anyone else with relatives that have seriously outstayed their welcome?! They've been here since 12!!

Not everyone wants to host for hours on end and that's fine. I don't understand how that makes you miserable.

Definitely not the norm in my family to expect guests until 'adult bedtime', everytime we've visited relatives for Christmas or had relatives to us people have started to make a move around 7:30 so everyone can have a bit of their own time to unwind in the evening!

Hosting is a long day, up early to sort out bird, open presents, dash around making sure everything is tidy again. Then cooking, entertaining, eating, entertaining. I am tired by early evening so glad when guests leave.

9 hours of hospitality (leaving aside the prep before and the clearing up after plus wrangling dc) and that’s ‘miserable’? Bloody hell tough crowd here!

I hope your guests have finally left OP and you can relax in pjs for a while before bed.

My friend had some friends who did that. I was staying so didn't have to leave.

It got to the time she wanted them to go and said

'Would you like a drink before you go?'. When they said 'No thanks' she responded with 'Ok, cheers, I'll get your coats then'.

The next day I asked her what she would have done if they said 'Yes'. She said she would have been happy to get them drinks. But would have got their coats the minute the cups were empty.

I'm with you, I'm an introvert and a early bird and finding hosting ( or even visiting people) exhausting. I'm happy to go early, it's feels more rude to me to outstay your welcome. My parents would often visit people until late night with us kids there and I just wanted to be in bed I would say you are heading to bedand.leave your DH to it.

If my relatives left at 7/8pm I’d think they’d not enjoyed themselves and were heading off elsewhere.

Clearly I’m in the minority.

I’m about to pour more port here.

They’ve been there for nine hours - that is above and beyond a normal visit! Especially when you have been putting in the hard yards as a host and overseeing small children who get up early and excited.

Just slink off to bed OP...

My ‘guests’ (family) will be here until 1-2am, I wouldn’t have it any other way

Ah I see the competitive hosts have arrived...🙄

"It's been so lovely having you for Christmas this year. Thank you so much for coming, but we mustn't keep you any longer."

Is this the first time you've hosted? It's all about expectation.

There is nothing wrong in feeling your guests should have left by now ( that's a long time to host and I would be like you needing my pjs on) and there is nothing wrong for these who don't want their guests to leave early, everyone is different. But it is about managing expectations.

Maybe you just need to point out you will ge up early tomorrow so should call
It a night.

They went about 9:30. To me you get invited for Christmas dinner and you go back to your own home for the evening but I can see that for some families that might not be the way. I personally wouldn't want to be in someone else's home all those hours but I'm a homebody. Also let's face it most people with small children are done in by 7pm if not earlier. Ive been up since 4 am

Glad they've gone!

Tbh, if I'd invited someone for Christmas Day, I wouldn't have expected them to have gone by 8pm (when you first posted).

My family have left in various stages!!! But to be honest if the last ones stayed beyond now and even stayed over I’d be happy!! The more the merrier!!!

Miserable host you are OP. Don't offer to host next year and stay home as you re such a "homebody" 🙄

Greytexpectations, you're an arsehole for that comment.

Do you mean 12 days?

@girlygirl98 I am with you 100%, and it's because of the dumb comments from SOME on here (calling you miserable for not wanting to host for 10 hours) that I invite no fecker around except my 2 adult DC and their partners, and my 2 BFF who I have known since childhood.

Both my friends stay 3 hours tops, and my adult DC and partners stay 3-4 hours. After that, we all start to get a bit weary, as we all work, and have other commitments and responsibilities; be that kids, dogs, cats, jobs. (And we speak/see each other weekly anyway.) So there's literally no need to stay more than 3-4 hours!

To stay at someone's house 10 hours is an utter piss-take, and if someone did that to us, they would never be invited again. If that makes me a miserable twat then so be it! After a stint like that, I'd be meeting them in a mutually convenient place, and would probably leave after 2-3 hours.

And after a few hours, surely you start to run out of things to talk about, especially if you speak to them all the time/several times a week anyway. Why do you need to be there 10 hours? Or are these visitors, people that you never see from one season to the next or something?

Batshit. Even on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, me and my DC/close family only spend 4 hours at each others homes! 5 hours tops!

Unfortunately, some people can't take the hint to leave. No emotional intelligence at all, and utterly self-absorbed.

If OP’s husband is making turkey sandwiches she doesn’t even need to do anything. Go to bed or just lounge.

everytime we've visited relatives for Christmas or had relatives to us people have started to make a move around 7:30 so everyone can have a bit of their own time to unwind in the evening

That's always been my own thought - it depends on the people of course, but if they're kind enough to host me all day, it seems nice to think of them having a bit of "down time" too after I've gone

Anyway I'm glad you've got the place back to yourself, OP; hopefully you're enjoying a glass of something nice

BiL was here from 1pm to 7pm. That was about an hour too long for me. Last year sil stayed for ages I was totally hacked off.

His family are poor at picking up social cues.

I never forget the year the PILs stayed until nearly 11pm. Bloody awful. The next time she made a comment about watching something at 9pm and l mist have pulled a face as she left soon after.

Some people like to have their guests till the early hours and that's fine but l'm not one if them. I like to have a bit of Christmas for DH and DCs and not running around waiting in people like l do pretty much every other day of the year

Here at 11 gone by 4 would be enough for me, nobody stays late in our house and if somebody had to be chased out the door after tea time when they were invited for lunch I would be really surprised.