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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DH has sent all Christmas Day playing computer games

57 replies

Shanny81 · 25/12/2019 19:19

My sons came to stay yesterday until Boxing Day. DH started playing his computer game last night in another room and I didn’t see him all night. This morning he got up and went straight on his game in the other room. He hasn’t been off it all day, has literally played on it by himself since 9am this morning taking a quick 20 minute break for dinner. I’ve been sat in living room with my sons all day (and all last night) by ourselves. DH has been sat totally by himself playing computer games in the other room since last night.

I’m fuming. Merry fucking Christmas, the picture of a happy marriage right?

OP posts:

sonjadog · 25/12/2019 20:00

Yeah, I think he is giving you a message loud and clear. Stupid man, how can he think this is an acceptable way to behave??

busybarbara · 25/12/2019 20:03

I’m going to put this out there.. sexless marriage.

Vilanelle · 25/12/2019 20:03

That's really bad OP and I feel for you. As tempting as it would be to ignore his kids tomorrow, try to remember they have done nothing wrong. Speak to him and tell him how pissed off you are.

My DP has some faults but reading some of the threads today, I could be a hell of a lot worse off. What's wrong with these men??

Original poster

Shanny81 · 25/12/2019 20:06

I’m so fucking annoyed. What type of man spends all Christmas Day playing a fucking computer game rather than being with his wife? I may as well have been a single parent today. This is just the nail on the coffin. This game has been coming between us for months, I never imagined Christmas Day would be like this. Today has been worse than other day. He’s literally played it all day. Shut away in there by himself. It’s fucking sad.

OP posts:

Original poster

Shanny81 · 25/12/2019 20:07

He’s nearly 50 ffs

OP posts:

littlepaddypaws · 25/12/2019 20:07

i wouldn't take it out on his dc tomorrow, it's not their fault, but it will be shitter still if he ignores them to game as well, unless they go for multi player.
not sure i'd stay with someone who puts gaming before family though.

freeingNora · 25/12/2019 20:16

When your boys go tomorrow I suggest you take yourself out or you'll be left doing all the entertaining. Make him to lunch of them you go watch a movie and enjoy the peace

TheLittleBrownFox · 25/12/2019 20:21

He does sound addicted. That sounds really sucky for you

Tombliwho · 25/12/2019 20:21

He sounds like an utter loser. Get christmas out of the way and get rid of him. Maybe he could marry his xbox.

Shoxfordian · 25/12/2019 20:21

He's a dick
Dump him

BringMeTea · 25/12/2019 20:27

I would leave a partner who did this. Good luck OP.

CodenameVillanelle · 25/12/2019 20:30

What's the game?
I can't believe you haven't had sex for 6 months and he is still obsessed with it

ChateauMyself · 25/12/2019 20:32

Will be interesting to see if he gets off the game tomorrow to spend the time with his own kids.

Or are you expected to play the host for him?

Littlemissdaredevil · 25/12/2019 20:34

Can you go out tomorrow at 7am? Don’t tidy the house or cook anything and leave him with his sons. Then contact a solicitor at 9am on the 27th?

Booberella9 · 25/12/2019 20:39

Well you've got a choice now haven't you.

Kill the wifi force him to stop

Leave him

Do nothing and carry on stewing in your own rage.

6 months of him being a total bellend, you still haven't done 1 or 2 so sounds like 3. is your preference?

Seriously though it's his choice to play the game instead of spend time with you, it's your choice to accept that.

Alexandra80 · 25/12/2019 20:50

I relate to your situation a lot though not to that extreme. It does seem like it's addictive for your dh but he must have some awareness or be in denial?

NorthernLightsInWinter · 25/12/2019 20:54

Wow. I'm so sorry, OP.

I would go to bed early, then get up early and go out for the day with my son and let him get on with dealing with his own children on his own. And make plans to end the relationship.

FatBlobbyBob · 25/12/2019 21:40

I would hate that OP
You deserve more

Oooooooooooooooooooh · 25/12/2019 21:44

Get rid. What a loser.

You deserve better than this.

Choice4567 · 25/12/2019 22:30

What's he going to do tomorrow when his children are visiting? Lock himself in there all day again?

overnightangel · 25/12/2019 22:57

“I would go to bed early, then get up early and go out for the day with my son and let him get on with dealing with his own children on his own. And make plans to end the relationship.”

This

Tatiannatomasina · 25/12/2019 23:02

Get yourself off to the sales, nice and early. Take time for coffee and cake stops, a trip to the cinema, call in on friends and family. I would also consider staying out for the night, with friends or at a hotel. Make your point and make your plans to escape this nonsense. He is a monumental dick.

TheReef · 25/12/2019 23:05

YANBU he's well out of order....

SunshineAngel · 25/12/2019 23:19

I am with a 50yo who also adores gaming.

His last-but-one partner left him because of it.

His last partner didn't, but they were completely indifferent with each other by the end because he was always gaming, and he ended up finishing with her.

He told me this when we got together. I said I didn't mind him playing games, so long as he pulled his weight in the house, came to bed at a decent time most nights, and spent at least some evenings together. Sometimes I will have some things I want to watch on TV that he's not keen on - so he'll go on then. Sometimes I will go to my parents' for the evening, and he'll game then.

It's about balance.

If he's online, and I'm feeling lonely, I'll give him a shout and he's ALWAYS downstairs within 10 minutes (but I don't take the piss, I'm fair, and respect that he has his hobbies just like I have mine).

Gaming all day on Christmas Day? That could fuck RIGHT off. This week is a week for family. He hasn't turned the computer on at all, and I doubt he will.

This has not been prompted by me. In fact, when we were wrapping presents I suggested he went on it as mine were better and he was more of a hindrance haha.. but the point is he wanted to spend time with me at this time of year, because that's a normal thing to do.

I would not be standing for his behaviour.

Hedgehogparty · 25/12/2019 23:21

Sounds a complete waste of space
New year, new start?

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