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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think recycling shopping bag for present from my BIL is insulting?

53 replies

sortedsortof · 25/12/2019 11:31

That's it really - he's not badly off. It looks like it's from a charity shop. I am horrified and insulted.

OP posts:
HappyHammy · 25/12/2019 11:34

Just use it to store vegetables in. Happy ChristmasXmas Angry

CuriousaboutSamphire · 25/12/2019 11:34

YABU. Mainly because you'll laugh about it in a week or so.

Just as I now laugh about the "free with your first catalogue order" gift I got from B/SIL. two years in a row - leopard print nylon top and a plastic gold chain.

She REALLY hated me...

MRex · 25/12/2019 11:40

Weird and cheap, but that's the sort of gift you can regift him next year and turn it into a family joke.

NotherOp · 25/12/2019 11:44

My SIL once gave me a handbag for Christmas.
A handbag she had taken from a load of rubbish an older man was throwing out into a skip on his driveway.
He was clearing out his late wife's things and throwing out whatever wasn't in good enough condition for the charity shop.
My SIL told me this after I unwrapped the bag, and opened it to find used tissues, hair pins and some other bits in it.
Envy - not envy......

Original poster
sortedsortof · 25/12/2019 11:52

Thanks - you guys are making me feel better! Just in an attempt to even out by YABU/ YANBU scores, he gave my other half - his brother - a French connection t-shirt....

OP posts:
iklboodolphrednosedreindeer · 25/12/2019 12:12

I got an older ladies style dressing gown in cream with giant pink roses on from FIL & his wife. Obviously one of hers out of the wardrobe because it smells of musty wardrobe. And I never, ever wear dressing gowns. DH got a £5 beer pack, DS got one of FIL's old watches (I know because I've seen him wear it).

We're taking them out for Christmas dinner and bought them gifts as well.

They paid cash for their bungalow so not badly off.

ArranUpsideDown · 25/12/2019 12:18

They paid cash for their bungalow so not badly off.

And now you have insight into just how they managed to pay cash for that bungalow...

PleasantVille · 25/12/2019 12:20

Why are you horrified that your BIL is crap at present buying, that's not unusual in the least, I've seen threads on here about similar things lots of times.

Not something that's even worth a second thought imo unless you know for sure it's some kind of personal attack on you YABtotallyOTT

AhoyMrBeaver · 25/12/2019 12:34

I really wouldn't give it a moment's thought. He's just your BIL, it was kind of him to think of you.

MyMajesty · 25/12/2019 12:40

It's a scruffy bag, as your present?
I thought you meant he gave you your present in a shop bag.
Oh well, it's the thought that counts. Xmas Grin

Original poster
sortedsortof · 25/12/2019 12:46

Am really pleased I posted as although I'm aware that I have a tendency to be oversensitive, I was close to tears when I opened the present and although my DH tried to put it into context for me, seeing these replies from more than one person has made me realised I over reacted.

OP posts:
LucaFritz · 25/12/2019 12:48

I haven't received a single gift this year and im spending Christmas alone you people need to give your heads a shake and be grateful Biscuit

NinetySixer · 25/12/2019 12:52

@LucaFritz I’m sorry you are alone.

But no one needs to be grateful for crap and thoughtless gifts.

Sleepysundown · 25/12/2019 12:52

Enjoy it! We had an auntie who did crap gifts, looked forward to it every year and compared notes. We were really gutted when we stopped gift buying so we couldn’t enjoy the family tradition of who got the oddest!

MyMajesty · 25/12/2019 12:58

You know your BiL and whether he's a thoughtless git out just clueless about women's gifts.

MyMajesty · 25/12/2019 12:58

*OR just clueless

NoSauce · 25/12/2019 13:01

That is weird. What did he buy everyone else?!

LittleSweet · 25/12/2019 13:11

When I was in my early 20s mil gave me an apron, matching shopping bag and a matching pair of oven gloves. I don't think she thought I was looking after her pfb son properly...

zukiecat · 25/12/2019 13:13

My mother gives me toilet rolls every year,

One year she gave my brother a full
Highland outfit, costs about £1000 and I got my toilet rolls

PineappleDanish · 25/12/2019 13:16

What do you mean by "recycling shopping bag"? I got a really nice bag from my SIL which is a recycled sari, folds up into a little pouch for your shopping.

Is that what you mean? Or a "bag for life" plastic number?

Original poster
sortedsortof · 25/12/2019 13:54

Hi it's not a nice one! A friend who had dropped round after a visit to the V and A brought some biscuits round in a V and A recycling bag and I gushed about how beautiful the bag was! This is seriously cheap and tacky. He has form for not great presents but this one shocked me. I know I know I'm a snowflake or whatever but these replies have lifted me and made me realise that it's about him buying terrible presents and not about me and what he thinks about me. Present from DH is lovely so have recalibrated!

OP posts:
Minky35 · 25/12/2019 14:35

If you really don’t like him and don’t wish to see him again, you could give it straight back to him saying ‘thanks but I don’t like it’.

MissBarbary · 25/12/2019 14:36

Why do you expect a present from your brother-in-law?

EveryKingdomOfRain · 25/12/2019 14:41

Am really pleased I posted as although I'm aware that I have a tendency to be oversensitive, I was close to tears when I opened the present

It is a pity it wasn't a grip- you really need one if a not very nice present from your brother-in- law (not even your family) almost reduces you to tears.

There is so much nonsense on MN about adult gift giving.

cantfindname · 25/12/2019 14:46

I was once gien a pak of oatmeal crackers by an Aunt.

a/ I loathe oatmeal bicuits and

b/ They were out of date. 5 years out of date lol.