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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think recycling shopping bag for present from my BIL is insulting?

53 replies

sortedsortof · 25/12/2019 11:31

That's it really - he's not badly off. It looks like it's from a charity shop. I am horrified and insulted.

OP posts:
WeGoHigher · 25/12/2019 14:56

I can't picture the 'recycling bag'.

What does it actually look like, OP?

JellyBabiesSaveLives · 25/12/2019 15:05

Do you mean a reusable shopping bag?

Or a bag made from recycled material?

Or a bag intended to store rubbish to be recycled?

MaButterface · 25/12/2019 15:22

Am really pleased I posted as although I'm aware that I have a tendency to be oversensitive, I was close to tears when I opened the present

Seriously? Get a grip.

Original poster
sortedsortof · 25/12/2019 15:22

It's a reusable shopping bag. It looks cheap and has a twee tacky design on it! The person who was given loo rolls and the one with the 5 year old crackers have really put things in perspective on this. BIL is married and him and his wife generally poor present givers - they alternate yearly and he had said it was his turn hence know it's his choice. This thread has done wonders for my hypersensitivity issues as instead of thinking this is what he thinks of me is wow he really is a bad present giver.

OP posts:
BusterGonad · 25/12/2019 15:37

Crikey, I can't believe how many posters think you should suck this up, I'd rather have nothing than a shit present that doesn't show any thought at all, I hate the way MNetters think that you should be grateful for any old shit that comes your way because some have it worse off! There will always be people worse off than you , it doesn't mean you should accept shit because others have it shitter. Tell your BIL to shove his bag up his arse.

PerkingFaintly · 25/12/2019 15:39

Oh god zukiecat I'm sorry about your toilet rolls, but thank you for sharing the daftness with us. Over the years they've become a sort of MN legend to me.

I'm alone too, get few presents, and when I opened my extravagantly-expensive-but-pointedly-thoughtless gift from family earlier (something they know extremely well I can't use because of disability – proper gold-plated kick in the teeth), I thought, "Oh well, maybe I could swap with zukiecat for her parents' toilet rolls."Grin

Gotta laugh at the melodramatically shitty gift-givers. We might as well get some pleasure out of them twats.

Glad to see you around, BTW. Fuck 'em, and Merry Christmas to you!

adaline · 25/12/2019 15:48

I haven't received a single gift this year and im spending Christmas alone you people need to give your heads a shake and be grateful

I'm sorry you're spending the day alone, but that doesn't mean others should be grateful for shit gifts!

StillCoughingandLaughing · 25/12/2019 15:57

Why do you expect a present from your brother-in-law?

When did the OP say she ‘expected’ a present? She GOT a present and it was shit. Not buying anything would have been better.

BusterGonad · 25/12/2019 16:00

I don't expect a present from anyone, but if I do get one I certainly don't expect a second hand reusable shopping bag, who the fuck would? But hey op, just be grateful you got something, right?

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 25/12/2019 16:08

A ridiculous gift has truly become a family joke within my family. My DF and DGF passed it back and forth for years, and now that DGF is sadly gone, DF and I exchange it year on year. My son is next in line for the damn thing 😂

bridgetreilly · 25/12/2019 16:27

Am I the only one who still doesn't know what a 'recycling bag' is?

Do you mean a recycled bag that you use like a bag for life?
Or a second-hand bag?
Or a bag for putting your recycling in?

bridgetreilly · 25/12/2019 16:28

Ah, just seen your update. Honestly, I don't think that's too awful a gift. It's useful, at least.

FruitcakeOfHate · 25/12/2019 16:34

Just stop exchanging gifts with them. 'Decided not to do gifts this year', announce that in about July.

ChardonnaysDistantCousin · 25/12/2019 16:34

In tears?

Are you 5 and do you still think Father Christmas won’t bring you a present if you’ve been naughty.,

Ask yourself why does this matters do much to you.

EveryKingdomOfRain · 25/12/2019 16:35

The whole adults moaning about getting crap Christmas presents from other adults and moaning about it is an utterly ridiculous and pathetic MN Christmas tradition.

Yes parents and spouses should show some consideration but almost being in tears because your brother-in- law gave you a rubbish present- grow up.

Pancakeflipper · 25/12/2019 16:40

Shrug it off and hug a pressie you think is lovely.

I got a hand towel from a relative last year from BHS (remember them?). It's little frayed and urmm used. I giggled all the long journey home.

EveryKingdomOfRain · 25/12/2019 16:40

I certainly don't expect a second hand reusable shopping bag, who the fuck would?

Well who knows what your level of expectation is and I don't think the OP has said it is second hand.

I was given a very nice reusable shopping bag from my mother-in-law one year- one of the ones you fold up and can stick in a handbag. I've had loads of use out of it and I really like it.

Guess my expectations are too low. I suppose the correct reaction would have been to start a thread whinging about it.

Original poster
sortedsortof · 25/12/2019 16:57

Thanks everyone for your shared wisdom. I’ve had a great Christmas and just come back from a long walk with family and settling in to watch some tv now. Lots of your posts made me laugh and put things in perspective! I am aware I”m a hypersensitive person ( believe it or not I do function in life and manage to have a pretty good job despite this!!!) and so the posts that made me realise it was about BIL giving thoughtless present and not about how little he must think of me helped. Merry Christmas everyone!

OP posts:
littlepaddypaws · 25/12/2019 17:02

insulted maybe but horrified really ??

Yousicktwistedfruit · 25/12/2019 17:12

I got a cheap bottle of rose perfume off my sister for my 30th birthday and a cheap set of 20 nail varnishes for Christmas she got a box full of bath and shower stuff perfume and a necklace off me. Last year was no better I got a bath set that she had picked up from Tesco the day before I know because I was with her. Going to do the same thing for her next year because it seems like I go all out for everyone and in return I get shit.

Sprinklemetinsel · 25/12/2019 17:13

@sortedsortof your mistake was equating his present shopping technique with yours- you think carefully about who you are buying for, and choose something to show them you thought about them. He buys something for someone else to unwrap. My DH is like that!

TheHumansAreDefinitelyDead · 25/12/2019 17:16

Tears?

I think non of my bills has ever bought me a Christmas present Grin

Josette77 · 25/12/2019 17:48

I've never had a brother in law but me anything. I can't imagine crying over a crappy gift though.

brassbrass · 25/12/2019 18:11

My SIL gave me a barrette hair clip that was clearly an old one of hers 🤣 at the first Christmas I ever spent with them. It was furry or hairy and the pile was flattened and dirty looking. Was an excellent indicator of the joys to come 🙄

Beebumble2 · 25/12/2019 18:23

Like other posters, we had an elderly great Aunt who recycled previous gifts. We (6 of us) worked out that we each gave her a really nice gift, one of us would get it back the next year. Worked well.