Aibu to expect a card

[Lazyafternoons]

Ok new to this so apologies.
My best friend and I for years have done presents, for OH’s as well. This year we said no as it’s getting too much. I agreed as I have had the worst year. Anyway not bothered about presents but I did send (hand delivered) them a really nice card and then the other week they mentioned in a conversation they have never had a real Christmas tree, ever. Well I knew they had one up (false) but know the have a conservatory they use all year, so sent them a smallish (real plotted) one with lights and flowers plus chocolates, they were over the moon. I said I don’t want anything back it was from OH and I for them to experience the smell etc. Well Christmas Eve and I’ve not had a card, they even said yesterday oh yes sorry about that. They knew less than a week ago OH was in car accident, not his fault and not hurt, still traumatic. Aibu to expect a card from a best friend?

YANBU for expecting a card - but it's weird that you both agreed not to do presents but you then went ahead and got them gifts anyway. They might feel a bit put out and guilty now, I know I would if it was me!

It was a gift just to say how much we think of them, not a here is a Christmas present. Plus it was only just delivered a few days ago and they couldn’t get over how much they loved it. I am not asking for a gift, a card would have been nice,

I sent the card to them way before the gift.

Some people just don't do cards at all. I need to send one to a close friend because she has been upset about the lack of card in the past, the only other people I send them too are elderly relatives.

If she is someone who doesn't care about receiving cards then it is unlikely she will send them.

Oh m8. Grow up

YABU to care about a card. You don't send cards (or give presents) in order to get them back. Friends clearly were very happy with what you gave them. That's it. All they owe you is the thank you they've already given you.

I feel the same about cards. I don't do presents anymore (not for adults). Even before this I appreciated cards though and they were important to me.. But when you don't do presents it feels like you should at least get a card.
But I don't think some people get it really.
I think like someone said above some people really don't do cards.

You changed the rules. . You said no gifts then you sent a gift. Irk. I'd be cheesed off.

Do you know for a fact they send cards to anyone else?

I don't do cards so I think yabu

Wow so all of you would really not care that your best friend didn’t bother to send a card, and I know they do cards as they have even sent cards to my family, ok it’s just me then feeling unrealistic.

I really wouldn't care, no.

And for all of you saying I changed the rules I didn’t, I sent a gift and asked for no gift. Not don’t bother with a card

If theyx've sent cards to your family yours probably got lost in the post.

I don't do cards, they aren't always easy to recycle and no where particularly to put them. Also don't see the point of them particularly.

I don't send cards, period. Not environmentally friendly, waste of money and time.

I didn't send cards this year. I normally do but it's the first Christmas without my dad and my heart isn't completely in it. I couldn't tell you who sent to me. I had noticed it has been decreasing year on year though as more people have stopped sending them. Cards do not say how good a friend someone is.

I am kind of thankful that I posted on here to ask the question, but I really did not expect that so many of you would really not care that the person you love the most outside of your family could not send a card to their best friend.

Its really unfair to say no gifts, then send a gift, then say its ok you dont need to give me anything. What a guilt trip.

Some people go a bundle on cards, OP, but it's the exception rather than the norm, in my experience. My Mum's obsessed, whereas I told DH not to bother getting me one this year.

OP it's probably because the value of a friendship isn't weighed by the amount of cards you send one another. If they're your 'best friend' then why do you care that much as they clearly show their friendship in much more meaningful ways

I wouldn't be bothered about cards tbh but in a later post you said that your family have received cards from them. That is different. I would be pissed off with that. If they didn't do cards at all it wouldn't bother me.

I only send cards to distant friends & family who I'll not necessarily see over Christmas. I think YABU.

Can I reiterate I did not want a gift at all, I just am surprised at no card, especially when I know others who have had a card, maybe I am unrealistic to expect one or thought they were a friend.

I only send cards to people that aren't local as a way of keeping in touch etc.

I really wouldn't expect one from close friends that live locally or see frequently

I dont think anyone is misunderstanding that you didnt want a gift. The reason pp keep mentioning the gifts is because its bizarre that you gave her gifts even after you'd agreed you wouldn't. Regardless of whether you wanted something back or not - the card thing is totally separate.