They should not have let us in

[filka]

I'm steaming mad...

Popped in to see our neighbours this evening, we live abroad so don't see them often, but are very friendly and they are helpful to us.

Welcomed in, air kiss on the way, mwa, sit down to chit-chat. After a few minutes they tell us that their son has come home from uni in Wales and had been in bed with mumps since Friday.

Even worse, he has had his MMR and booster. And someone else in his rowing team also had mumps before him, also having had MMR and booster. And when he went to the doctor, two of the staff had kids at uni in Wales who had caught mumps, also after MMR jobs.

Mumps is airborne and seems to have a gestation of about 2 weeks before any symptoms appear - so although the parents don't seem to be ill, they could nevertheless be infectious.

We both stripped off and had showers, clothes straight into the wash when we got home, minimising contact with our three kids (who had MMR jabs) and MIL (who hasn't).

AIBU to think that they should not have let us into the house, or (AINBU) am I being paranoid?

It's not exactly smallpox is it? Mumps? Pah!

I think I had the swelling thing but it didn't really register as anything bad. Now measles and chicken pox - I definitely remember them.

Did you miss the regulation red plague cross on the front door?

It can cause infertility in adults so I deffo wouldn't be welcoming people into my home if my son was infected. Isn't it also linked to viral meningitis? Hardly comparable to chicken pox - that's why they vaccinate against it.

How old are your children? The reason people get it at university is because the immunity from the mumps component seems to have a limited life and people are on close contact in halls. I wouldn't worry if your children are not also young adults. And the whole stripping off, shower thing is a) OTT and b) probably ineffectual. It's a virus, not nuclear fallout.

Your MIL is likely to have had it, perhaps asymptomatically. The MMR came in in about 1988 IIRC, so most people over 30ish will have been exposed to the wild virus which AIUI confers better immunity. I had it as a child.

My sister, who had MMR and the booster, came home from uni with it. I had the MMR but not the mid teens booster, same house, nobody else caught it. Her puffy cheeks were amusing.

I am considering getting MMR boosters for my children in their late teens, btw, partly due to this scenario.

Mumps can be FATAL

People have forgotten this because its more rare due to immunisation.

And if it doesn't kill it can sterilise

Yes, they should have told the OP

I definitely have not had mumps. I’d be extremely pissed off. I’m chronically ill and any additional illness floors me. Some people have no idea.

Christ I can’t believe how relaxed people are about it! There’s a reason we are vaccinated

OP they should have told you straight off. I’d be fuming.

Yes they should have told you.

Why do some pp make the assumption that MIL has had mumps, I'm an older woman and I've never had it.

I remember people wanting to avoid it though. As pp said there's a reason children are inoculated against it.

I'd be furious! The US boosters children twice now. Once before kindergarten and once as pre-teens. It's been shown now that just the 2 aren't enough. I'd be furious!

Our son was incubating mumps, we were unaware. Friends came round and a week or so later the husband and our son came down with mumps. Sadly it affected our friends fertility. Mumps is a disease much better to be caught in childhood and avoided as an adult.

Mumps is a disease much better not caught at all. FFS.

I think it can give adult males orchitis which is extremely painful and does cause infertility. My husband’s uncle had this and was very ill. It is not mild in adults, but stand to be corrected. I’d have mentioned it. We were visited by someone with their three children all of whom had the measles rash. My husband caught it aged 48 and nearly died. He still has poor eyesight. Childhood infectious diseases can indeed kill.

Years ago one of my neighbors hallooed from the street to thank me for keeping youngest home through the entire contagion period in an effort to prevent the spread of chicken pox that was sweeping through the neighborhood and the school. This was before there was a vaccine.
People are much too careless about spreading infectious diseases.

You are being over dramatic

The chances of getting mumps if you are vaccinated are tiny - a single dose give 93-95% immunity and both doses around 98%. It sounds as though your neighbour's son has been very unlucky.

The chances of getting mumps from someone in a different room is very small. But you could just as easily catch it on the bus or in the supermarket - I got mumps at 31 and never knew anyone who had it - just one of those things.

Oh dear God OP, this will be all the evidence the MN anti-dropperiners will ever need forever.

My whole family,youngest to oldest had mumps together,when I was about 12. My sister wasn't really ill at all,but Dad was - I remember the doctor coming out.
And a little boy in our church had mumps meningitis and was left deaf.
Most people were fine,but it's not nothing.

You sound absolutely neurotic.

and for anyone post puberty it can make them infertile.
Well only if they are male , so not anyone!

Surely you would tell people at the door?!
I'm not vaccinated and am also immunocompromised

Christ, there’s some drama on this thread. Most people over 40 will have had mumps, whether they can remember it or not.

OP, this is MN - you should know that if you turn up on someone's doorstep unannounced, contracting an illness is the best you can expect.