AIBU to go to my partners for Christmas Eve/Day?

[roseunicorn45]

Supposed to be at my mums but my mum’s been really hard work recently. If you remember my last thread I posted under a different name about how my mum is taking over my pregnancy.

The other day my mum said she was cooking a curry for the family on Christmas Eve. I don’t live with her. I assumed I would be invited as all of my brothers and sisters are there. Yesterday I said I will see you tomorrow for Christmas Eve. She said why? I didn’t think you’d be coming. I said okay I won’t come, and she said well I just don’t need the drama (I am trying to remain as drama free as possible as pregnant and she is picking fights with everyone).

I decided I would go to my partners for Christmas as he is spending it with his family, but I received a text from my mum apologising and saying please come. So I have come to my mums.

In the space of two hours, she has made digs at me already. First when my grandmother asked me what I was writing about (I’m a journalist and I was funnily enough assigned how to avoid conflict at Christmas) and I told her, to which my mum goes ‘How about not inviting your daughter’ out of the blue. No arguments nothing, I’ve been trying to be nice to her.

I then said I was looking forward to having my first Christmas at my house next year when my baby will be here, and she said ‘Why don’t you spend it at your house this year instead’.

It’s been non-stop digs and her trying to start fights with everyone for days and I just don’t need the stress. But I don’t want to upset her by going to my partners because I know she will be vile to me and manipulate me into feeling guilty and like I’ve ruined Christmas.

Would IBU to go to my partners for Christmas?

Yabu to still be there when she treats you like this, she's a right cow by the sound of it. Go to your partner's house, turn your phone off and if you are exceptionally lucky your mum might give you the silent treatment for a few weeks 🤞🤞

(Maybe give serious thought to going LC/NC, she doesn't sound like a worthy addition to you or your new baby's life. Merry Christmas OP! )

She sounds horrible! I don't know why you even thought of going there.

Just go, I wouldn’t put up with this shit. I read your post about Brest feeding a thought she sounded crazy. You don’t need the drama, I would rather be on my own than spend Christmas with someone so nasty.

Go. Now.

I'm so sorry, OP
She sounds horrible. You've done your bit, you gave her the benefit of the doubt and accepted her invitation in good faith but she's clearly incapable of being civil so I hope you're at your DP's being looked after by now.

Has your DM always been this way or is there something going on with her? Not that I can think of any excuse for her behaviour!

Your mums a cunt

do not pass go do not collect 200 pounds just run the heck out of there.
she wont like losing control or losing her pin cushion so will use....mmmmm...oh yes guilt to lure you back in but dont.
stand your ground.she is not your jailer.imagine a hrismtas of laughter and people making you feel good.all the food you want,all the rest,people who are kind.just go.

please come and update that youve gone,please make all our christmas's come true by being the brave poster of the day.

Just go love, be with the one you love and not have these constant digs and emotional blackmail.
You need to be as stress free as possible.

yes, definitely go. She has said it clearly that she doesn't want you there, so take her on her word.

I posted on your other thread with much more sympathy than I’m going to offer now I’m afraid.

You obviously know your mum is crazy. You’re exceptionally good at highlighting the issues with her behaviour and seem to fully grasp that it’s not normal or ok.
Your first post you had a lot of reassurance on, everyone told you that you were right.

Now you’ve chosen to go to her house for Christmas 🙄
Sorry OP but I think you might be one of those people who enjoy the drama/having something to complain about else your simply wouldn’t have gone. You knew what you were doing.

Go! Why would you prioritise being a martyr with your batty mother when you could (should) be spending the day with your partner and the father of your bump?!?

Ring your partner, tell him you are coming, kiss your GM and your mum, smile and wish the a Merry Christmas and then leave.

If your partner and his family can accommodate you then definitely go. In any case, leave your mum's now and do something else instead.

I hope your next update is from your partners saying you’re having a lovely time.

Do not spend it with this women. I’m lucky to have moved to the other end of the country and no longer have to deal with my mum and her ways.

You are being an enabler. Read up on narcissists and enablers. You have become part of the problem if you feed into this unacceptable behaviour.

Just go.

Why are you engaging with this OP?

If you’re pregnant I think it’s best you spend Christmas with your partner either just the two of you or with his family. Your mum sounds like a nightmare. I’m sure you would enjoy spending it with your partner more.

For the first 2 Christmas’s together myself and partner would spend it at our families homes separately. Several years on I cannot imagine not spending it with him. We often spend Christmas just our family (us and DC at home). Sometimes we alternate years.

Just go right now. I would also reduce contact going forward, she's a massive piss taker. Your way or no way from now on.
Is there anything in your article about not sitting around taking abuse? Just say no!

(im pregnant too and im only thinking of you and your baby as you dont need any stress during christmas and if you say anything negative to your mum it will annoy you all day tomorrow. I would probably be nice about it (if your mum doesnt normally go on like this, theres probably something in her mind that shes keeping to herself- you just never know) and say ..mum thanks for the lovely curry today it was delicious, if you dont mind mum, my partners parents are insisting/really wants me to come for christmas dinner tomorrow ..i hope you dont mind ..then say something like..perhaps we could go to dinner me, you dad and my partner tomorrow or alternatively say..well have to get something else sorted for us..and theres always new years..(i.e whatever is annoying her will hopefully have past by then) well have to get something sorted. love you and talk soon.(im only thinking about you as you dont need to any additional stress.) xx

Go.
Leave the big bitch to it.

Your mum wanted you there because she's a bully and when she's bullying you it makes her feel good.
I wouldn't feed her ego.
Go to your partner. No fuss, no drama, just get up and go.
Then go no contact. She will need you before you need her, seriously.

Go, leave her to argue with someone else. Go enjoy your Christmas with your partner and his family

Don't. Even. Think. Twice.

Have a lovely Christmas elsewhere and feel NO guilt about it at all!

Go OP, go now and don’t come back. Who are these 2% who think YABU? TABU!

Can you link to your previous thread?

@AlpacaGoodnight EXACTLY!
OP, have you read all the replies on your other thread?
Why the HELL are you even there?!