To sit in front of people in the cinema?

[Watchagotcha]

We've just got home from seeing the new Star Wars film at the cinema.

It was very quiet, maybe 15-20 people in total. When we arrived there were 2 groups of 3 already seated. The furthest forward ones were maybe 1/3 of the way from the front, in the middle.

DS1 and I wanted to sit a few rows in front of them, also in the middle. We led the way and sat down. DH and DS2 were very uncomfortable about doing so, saying that we shouldn't be sitting in front of people that were already there, that they might be unhappy with us blocking their view etc. I think this is total nonsense: it's a cinema, none of the seats are pre-booked, the people already there are perfectly free to move if they want to - and TBH they really didn't need to, they could see fine. None of us are giants!

DH and his family have form for this, for putting themselves at the bottom of the heap and letting everyone else in first. I've seen SIL clinging onto her son's arm to stop him serving himself at a buffet until everyone else has gone up - even if it means he misses out on the dishes that he likes. Another example: we took our boys for a fishing lesson last summer, and when the time came for all the kids to choose a stool / rod to use, our boys hung back while all the other ran to get the best rods / positions - until there were only the crappiest ones left and they had to share. DS2 in particular seems to freeze and get very uncomfortable when he thinks he might, in some way, be upsetting or putting someone out or causing extra work etc.

It drives me a bit nuts TBH. SIL suffers from such low self-esteem and anxiety, and I think it's directly related to a lifetime of being taught that everyone else is more important than her, that her needs come bottom of the heap. I want to shake her and tell her "You, and your needs / wants, are important too!!" DH tends to be like this too though not as much.

I know there has to be consideration for others, but surely it doesn't mean actively putting yourself last all the time? I'm not advocating pushing to the front at all - that's just as bad for other reasons. But actively standing back every time and letting others go first?

YABU = we should have sat behind the people at the front
YANBU = we were right to choose the seats we wanted and sit in them

I don't understand this because our cinemas (odeon and vie and showcase) are all allocated seating?

Is it really difficult to comprehend that OP’s cinema is different to yours and obviously doesn’t have allocated seating?

Yes it is - literally never been to a cinema or theatre where you pick your seats in the room.

I've never been to a movie with allocated seating. I didn't know that was even a thing.

Our odeon had only moved over to allocated seating about a month ago, prior to that it was free choice, first come first serve.

That's crazy. So like a free for all? We've always had to choose seats for as long as I can remember

I don't think it was rude or unreasonable to sit in the middle a few rows in front. I do find it irritating when people sit rightttt behind or Infront of me in an empty cinema though. I went a few weeks ago and it was just me until two ladies walked in, sat directly behind me and had a nice chat with each other.. a few rows in front though is fine!

I typically sit to one side though and hate sitting in the middle to avoid the talkers and loud people, I'm also mostly left alone and noone sits behind/Infront

If you turned up to an empty ish cinema and sat NEXT to the only other people in there- it wouldn't be rude, but it would be weird af! I loath those people! There's always one.

Meanwhile, what you did was perfectly normal and reasonable

Ours used to be 'sit where you like' but changed to allocated seating a few years ago (vue)

I had similar yesterday, the room was empty apart from 2 others, selected nice seats in the middle a couple of rows from the back, in came a couple of women with a few kids and sat in the row directly in front and the seat directly in front of me 😕 luckily enough the woman wasn't tall so her head didn't poke over the top of the seat. More annoying was the late arrivals putting their phone flashlight on to find a seat, a couple of people came in 20 minutes during the actual film, people regularly getting up for the toilet, one woman having a chat during the film and gets up and walks out with the kids, comes back in a few minutes later and gets another woman and they all walk out of the film having a laugh at the same time. Another person at the front rustling their popcorn wrapper during the lead solo in the cats film, totally selfish behaviour.

At the cinema we go to, you choose your seats before you pay, so even if you are sat in front of someone, it isn't your fault. Cinemas are designed so you can see wherever you are sat.

Nat6999, it is possible to sit somewhere that's not right in front of someone else, if there aren't many people there.
Being right in front of someone often does affect their view of the screen.
Why do that if there are lots of other seats?

Ours is allocated seating. But plenty if room between rows and a good rake so not a problem even if you are in the row in front of them