To expect narcissistic family who you have cut off, to not turn up just because it's Christmas?

[christmascats]

I've name changed as I don't want all my old stories to add up and someone recognise me. I need to rant about this because my RL mates don't need this at Christmas and I need it out of my head!

After many years of horribleness, I went NC with my parents and sister at the start of this year. Every story I've ever posted, MN have told me to go NC, as well as in RL. I knew it was what was needed but just took me ages to get over it. Anyway.

Last night, 8pm. DC and I watching TV. All dark and chilled. There was hammering on my door and we ignored it. Wasn’t expecting anyone. Didn’t recognise the car outside. After aggges of hammering they drove off.

Then DM text DD and said your presents are outside so we looked out and they weren’t so DS said he’d go and look outside. DM jumped out from behind my car and tried to run into my house! Actually trying the handle and screaming as I was trying to lock it.

Then she starts screaming through the letterbox and waving her arms through it shouting about needing to see the DC at Christmas, I can't stop her blah blah. I ended up screaming that I was calling the police and she left.

Then she leaves DD a voicemail saying tried to deliver your presents but your mum says you aren't allowed any but you are, so come around and get then whenever you like.

I mean, what kind of Jeremy Kyle shit is this?!

Well done

Stay NC

Be strong

I’ve dealt with narcissistic in laws and it’s absolutely awful
These people do not back down so you need to keep them out

Oh Christ. This is my actual nightmare. I have spent the last three therapy sessions focussing on why I don't need to worry that they will be at my door because I live on another continent and they don't know my address. I"m still terrified though.

You have my utmost empathy.

@HyacynthBucket yes I made it very clear and they have tried lots of this recently - with cards and advent calendars and Christmas shopping suggestions. I have made it very clear to them.

This is my absolute worst nightmare, I'm so sorry. Unfortunately it isn't wise to expect normal standards of behaviour from people like this.

@YouretheChristmasCarcass yes, although the DC haven't gone "officially" NC, they basically have been on account of what they have witnessed and heard for themselves.

Like last night, DC had already heard from friends that DM was saying "they'll creep back at Christmas for their presents". They made heir own conclusion of "we didn't go Christmas shopping with her, we didn't ask for presents, we haven't planned to visit, and now she's forcing us to have presents so she can slag you off to everyone."

@P1nkHeartLovesCake I deliberated lots over this one. I didn't know what to do. I decided I didn't want to stop them, that they were old enough to decide who they wanted in their lives. Their decisions came swiftly after, based on her ridiculous behaviour towards me after I went NC.

Incidentally, I went NC after DD was invited to a secret family party but was told she could only go if she didn't tell me. Last straw for me!

@Chunkers this is the exact conclusion they made themselves, and when DD told her nan this, nan said there was gangs hanging about who would steal it. Never seen a gang in this area in the 15 years I've lived here 🤔

Switched on kids! Good to hear they have the measure of her. She would have scared off any gangs with her ducking about under the cover of dark. Gang Nan style.

Oh @Chunkers thank you! I think you've just turned this situation around in my head 😂😂😂

Smart kids!! Wishing you and them a Merry Xmas with no more, ahem, 'interruptions'.

Thank you @YouretheChristmasCarcass you too 

Urgh poor you OP! I empathise being NC with a badly behaved mother and sister. Christ alone knows how I'd handle them pulling a stunt like that.

It's difficult with kids, my dc choose himself and he is NC with one but not the other.

I think you handled it fine. No way would I answer the door as the only adult in the house , in the dark to someone who had driven up in a strange car and was hammering away.