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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH dragging me to Christmas drinks against my will

61 replies

almost2020 · 23/12/2019 16:38

DH’s friend is having a Christmas drinks party tonight and has hired a bar for 60 people. It’s an hour away and we’ll be getting the train. I’m 18 weeks pregnant, feeling tired and miserable and would dearly love to stay on the sofa in the warm, eating chocolate and watching telly. I won’t know anyone at the party either. However, DH wants me to come. WIBU to stay at home?

OP posts:
Tyersal · 23/12/2019 16:40

YANBU your title is a bit misleading though

Chocolatemouse84 · 23/12/2019 16:41

Yanbu. Just stay home and chill out and oh go to the party on his own.

Original poster
almost2020 · 23/12/2019 16:41

YANBU your title is a bit misleading though

Fair enough - it was a bit dramatic I agree! Grin

OP posts:
LiviaSoprano · 23/12/2019 16:42

How can he force you. Put on your pjs and lie on the sofa, refuse to move. Of course he can't actually force you.

pasturesgreen · 23/12/2019 16:43

YANBU, stay at home as it doesn't sound like much fun for you. However, there's a world of difference between "wanting you to go" and "dragging you against your will" - if the latter, you have a DH problem.

BarbedBloom · 23/12/2019 16:43

Stay at home if you don't feel up to it. You would probably want to leave early if you went so you could sell it to DH like that, not that he should be putting pressure on you while you are growing a baby anyway

Morgan12 · 23/12/2019 16:45

Send him on his way.

Your night sounds much better.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 23/12/2019 16:51

Send him on his way and get into your PJs....

VisionQuest · 23/12/2019 16:53

I wouldn't want to do this and I'm not even pregnant!

You need to just stand up to him and say no. If he's not understanding then bollocks to him.

OatcakeCravings · 23/12/2019 16:54

I would get a bout of morning sickness right now and have to lie down...

BrowncoatWaffles · 23/12/2019 16:56

Does he want you to go so you drive him home?

You're allowed to stay on the sofa. Dig out the chocs and a blanket and enjoy the peace.

MarianaMoatedGrange · 23/12/2019 16:57

Stay at home, he can go alone.

GrannyBags · 23/12/2019 16:58

Does he ‘want’ you to go or is he ‘dragging’ you against your will? They are two very different things.
At the end of the day, you are an adult so you can just say no.

onanothertrain · 23/12/2019 16:58

Just say you're not going. He's not really dragging you there against your will is he? 🙄

JKScot4 · 23/12/2019 17:00

Are you going to be like this for the next 20 odd weeks? not wanting to go anywhere?
I’d enjoy your child free life whilst you can.

Blacksackunderthetreesfreeze · 23/12/2019 17:05

I wouldn’t go if I was you. If not pregnant I’d make the effort but this sounds miserable for you.

speakout · 23/12/2019 17:06

Don't go.

Very simple.

ReanimatedSGB · 23/12/2019 17:07

If you don't feel up to it, you don't feel up to it. I remember feeling very tired at that stage of pregnancy, and I am a lifelong party animal (luckily I found that, from about 20 weeks onwards, I bounced back).
Is your H pushing you to go, or has he just said it would be nice if you went with him? If he's happy to go alone, wave him off with a big smile and enjoy your quiet night in (don't be a whinyarse and try to stop him going out just because you're tired - you haven't posted anything to suggest that you are ill or need extra support, you just fancy a cosy night in.)

sweeneytoddsrazor · 23/12/2019 17:10

Don't go if you don't want to.

As a bonus if he gets drunk/misses traun back or anything you can start another thread saying he isnt home yet and then watch all the other posters fall over themselves to tell you how disrespectful he is, hiw he should grow up and how you should get the vacuum out at 7:30 so he cant possibly sleep in Grin

Esspee · 23/12/2019 17:12

Don’t go. Stay home and relax but avoid the chocolate or you will have a terrible job keeping to a healthy weight.

Drabarni · 23/12/2019 17:12

Send him on his own, he can't force you to go.

user27495824 · 23/12/2019 17:13

Tell him you'll go, but only if he shows solidarity and doesn't drink a drop of alcohol either. Wink Perhaps he will see how unreasonable he is being. Could you give him permission to share the news? Maybe that is what he is hoping for. It is miserable to go out sober in late December. Usually alcohol warms you up a bit. It is also miserable to to to an alcohol fuelled even when you don't drink. I definitely would not be pushed to go.

user27495824 · 23/12/2019 17:14

Oh sorry, I realise you are 18 weeks so they will likely know already. My phone is cracked and I thought it said 11 weeks! Why don't you drive him there and say hello and then leave?

Blacksackunderthetreesfreeze · 23/12/2019 17:16

Tell him you'll go, but only if he shows solidarity and doesn't drink a drop of alcohol either..

This could work if he isn’t a dickhead who would agree and then lie. Or say “oh the old ball and chain won’t let me drink”. He’d have to present it as his decision.

But I agree going on sober in December - and tired as well - is miserable.

Butterymuffin · 23/12/2019 17:17

It's an hour on the train so even if it's a shorter car journey, it still takes up a lot of time to drive him there, say hello and leave. Don't do that OP. Just put your PJs on.

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