Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to fancy someone else even though i am married

39 replies

NeedSomeExcitement · 25/08/2007 16:01

i fancy another bloke and have even told my DH about him - he just laughed and said he wouldn't mind if i slept with this other bloke but i reckon he would.

would it be bad to sleep with someone else?

OP posts:
pipsqueeke · 25/08/2007 16:02

er yes definatly. opens a can of worms.

magnolia1 · 25/08/2007 16:03

No of course not, you have your dh's permission. Off you go......have fun

NappiesGalore · 25/08/2007 16:03

yeah right

MyTwopenceworth · 25/08/2007 16:06

It's not illegal, if that's what you mean.

An open marriage works for some.

Sounds like your dh was JOKING when he gave you the go-ahead.

Or you are joking now. One of the two.

I don't care if you sleep with someone other than your dh or not. Unless the other bloke is MY dh.

Then I'd kill you and mount your head on my wall.

Next to my dh's testicles.

pointydog · 25/08/2007 16:17

sounds like your marriage is shaky anyway so what the hell

LadyVictoriaOfCake · 25/08/2007 16:19

i fancy george cloony/ not about to shag him though

allgonebellyup · 25/08/2007 16:25

if an open relationship appeals to you then go for it!
i dont see why not! your dh seems fine about it so do it!

all the women on here today are bores.. yawn

pipsqueeke · 25/08/2007 16:26

lol. ally - ah if it was david tennant and I had a free pass then that's another case! lol. for a reg joe off the street thou it's another case!

KerryMumbledore · 25/08/2007 16:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

snowwonder · 25/08/2007 16:28

life is to short to think about it
JUST DO IT!!!! [WINK]

lucyellensmum · 25/08/2007 16:31

mytwopenceworth, i agree.

OP WHY would you want to sleep with another man, SERIOUSLY??? i am attracted to other men sometimes, i bet DP is attracted to other women. Then there is the saying, just because im on a diet............but you only get to look. If you act on your attraction then you would have to question your marriage if you ask me

2mum · 25/08/2007 16:58

You mustnt think much of your marriage if you want to get your end away with some other man.

allgonebellyup · 25/08/2007 17:07

everyone, the OP says her dh thinks its fine, and even if he doesnt, he shouldnt say it then and give her the wrong idea.

why shouldnt she do it??

NutterlyUts · 25/08/2007 17:15

Er cause she's married? Go ahead or not it still makes a mockery of the marriage vows...

crokky · 25/08/2007 17:19

Don't do it. The consequences are so far reaching and devastating. What starts off as a bit of fun will destroy the lives of numerous people.

DH sounds like he was joking.

BrownSuga · 25/08/2007 17:19

hasn't she read of the results of affairs on MN?

crokky · 25/08/2007 17:19

BTW alright for you to fancy him, but don't act on it!

allgonebellyup · 25/08/2007 17:20

well marriage vows dont exactly mean a lot if you're not religious. so maybe the OP isnt very religious, like myself?

crokky · 25/08/2007 17:23

I don't think the marriage vows are the pivotal factor. Presumably the OP lives with DH and has DC? The pivotal factor is the devastation of peoples lives, married or not.

Personally i'm married, but some mnetters choose not to be. Ask them how they would feel if it was their DP! I think they'd take the same attitude as a married person.

pipsqueeke · 25/08/2007 17:31

er i'm not religious not in the church etc christian way - neither is DH, but we got married we're a team a partnership. you don't have to be relgious to think having an affair makes a mokery of your marriage vows - after all why bother doing them if you're going to have an affair?

Blandmum · 25/08/2007 17:33

Why get married if you intend to shag other people? Why not stay single and be honest about it?

You can look, looking is a human response. But doing more means breaking your word and breaking up other people's lives, and would be a crass thig to do.

divastrop · 25/08/2007 17:35

blimey,i would be questioning whether my relationship was over if i had even looked at another man in that way

i know thats not the norm,though,and that alot of happily married/co-habiting women 'fancy' people off the telly etc,but if you are actually thinking of sleeping with somebody else then,unless you both agreed to an open relationship in the first place,you should really end your marriage before you go off with someone else.

btw whats this thing with marriage vows and religion?not everybody gets married in church.

MellowMa · 25/08/2007 17:37

Message withdrawn

margosbeenplayingwithmynoonoo · 25/08/2007 17:40

"all the women on here today are bores.. "

Pipsqueeke - I read bores as something completely different!

MTPW - but my reaction would be similarly violent if dh was ever to play away.

Rantmum · 25/08/2007 17:54

I'm old-fashioned (and very boring) because I believe that there is no point in committing to one person if you have no intention of sticking with it. Furthermore, life is tricky enough without looking for complications if you ask me.

Look but don't touch is my motto in this sort of situation.

I am sure that lots of (very exciting) MNers in "open" relationships will disagree, but IMO, an "open" relationship can ONLY work if both parties are completely ok with it - which means that both members of the couple are free and happy to pursue other people and that neither person feels that the only way to hold on to their partner is to agree to something that they are really not all that comfortable with.

I believe that it is a very rare couple indeed, where both people are truly happy with an "open" arrangement...