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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think they should pay for a new TV?

126 replies

Bluemoon61 · 22/12/2019 17:04

Just over a year ago my very close friend gifted me a new smart tv, with a value of £250. A few months ago my DD's boyfriend got up in the middle of the night to plug in and play on his Xbox that he had brought to our house (he did ask DD's permission to do this). When I got up the next morning and turned on the tv there was a big interior crack on the screen, leaving white blurry marks across the screen, making it unwatchable. I asked them what had happened and her boyfriend said he didn't know anything about it, as he never actually turned the tv on because he couldn't find a socket to plug his Xbox into. He said he did move the tv around a little, but didn't think he'd been heavy handed.

Obviously I was very angry. DD's boyfriend said he would ask his mum if she would lend him the money (£250) to replace the tv as he didn't have any money at the time. His mum said she didn't have that kind of money (which i find hard to believe because she is always going away on holidays/concerts/weekends away and just bought a new cooker). Instead she said we could have the tv from her bedroom (a year older and smaller). I picked up the tv and brought it I've to my house and installed it and now a few months later it has started playing up (TV takes ages to turn on from standbye). I don't think I've done anything to break it, and DD's boyfriend's mum said it worked perfectly fine when she had it.

I still feel annoyed that my new Smart tv got broken and have now been left with a smaller, less valuable one that doesn't even work properly.

DD's boyfriend has apparently expressed annoyance that I didn't request the warranty details from my friend who bought me the tv, as it was still under warranty at the time he broke it. His thinking is that his mother shouldn't have had to give me a tv and that I should have asked for the warranty. The reasons I didn't ask for the warranty were a.) I felt embarrassed telling he that DD's boyfriend had broken the new TV she ad kindly bought us, and b.) I honestly don't think the warranty would have covered accidental breakage, as surely that classes as negligence? Boyfriend thinks this is a silly reason, as I shouldn't have been embarrassed and should have at least checked the warranty to see what it covered.

AIBU to think that if you break someone's tv, you either pay to replace it or buy a new one and the new TV should match the one you broke in value and size, even if this means that you yourself go without something (for example a new cooker). Or should I have just asked for the warranty?

OP posts:

Evilspiritgin · 22/12/2019 18:45

Just as a point I pay £13 for contents (£1000000 ) with no excess so it can be done, it’s 3.25 a week

BumbleBeee69 · 22/12/2019 18:46

DD said her boyfriend told her that if she broke the TV in their house they wouldn't ask her to replace it because 'it's just not what you do.'

I assume he had this enlightened conversation AFTER he broke your TV ? .. might also explain why he's 24 and not working.. everything is free in his house huh...

Saladd0dger · 22/12/2019 18:48

I think he broke the tv. Probably launched his controller at it

mrsm43s · 22/12/2019 18:49

When you accepted the other TV from the BFs mum, that repaid BFs debt to you, and that matter was ended.

The replacement TV broke whilst in your care - that is your responsibility to deal with. You can't expect a second replacement!

It has nothing whatsoever to do with your DDs BFs Mum.

You need to sort your own replacement TV now, or go without.

Jellybeansincognito · 22/12/2019 18:52

This has nothing to do with your daughters bfs mum for god sake.

This is a lot of drama over a cheap TV.

AdriannaP · 22/12/2019 18:53

Your DD BF needs to replace the tv. He is 24, he can work and pay you back in installments. I wouldn’t accept him in the house anymore unless he offers a payment plan and starts paying back. He sounds like a loser. Sorry about your tv and hope your DD finds a better partner soon.

Stop taking it up with the mum, he is an adult.

And FWIW I don’t believe his version of the story at all (how the tv broke).

Ocomeocomeimaginaryfleas · 22/12/2019 18:55

I'm with your DD's boyfriend I'm afraid. If someone broke something in my house it would be irksome but accidents happen, I wouldn't expect them to replace it if it was beyond their means to do so.

See if you can get hold of the warranty and hope whatever the fault is is covered.

Jellybeansincognito · 22/12/2019 18:55

I can’t ever imagine taking such a generous gift off someone if I couldn’t even ask them for warranty info either.

Jellybeansincognito · 22/12/2019 18:56

It is clearly accidental damage though (from what the story is I guess) so unless it’s insured I guess there’s no hope there anyway.

Instatwat · 22/12/2019 19:02

You F’d up by accepting his Mum’s TV. You should have organised payments or something at the time.

IndecentFeminist · 22/12/2019 19:09

You're a bit ridiculous tbh. You didn't need a smart TV from a friend in the first place. You have no evidence he broke it. You didn't try to fix it, or even ask about the warranty. You then accepted a TV from his mother (despite you all being adults), and grouse about her being able to go on holidays or buy a cooker as if that means she should be buying you a new TV. Then when it doesn't work well after a few months you want to revisit the whole thing. And to top it off, you're completely uninsured.

Butchyrestingface · 22/12/2019 19:12

Another vote for YABU, I’m afraid. At the very least you should have checked the warranty and I certainly wouldn’t be too quick to replace something when you haven’t even taken this basic step.

Original poster

Bluemoon61 · 22/12/2019 19:13

I would just like to clarify again that I have not, and will not, ask or chase his mother for anything. I accept that I was wrong to accept the TV from her but I would just like to make clear that I didn't ask for it and I haven't asked for a replacement for it now that it's not working. I'm just a bit disappointed with the whole thing.

In DD's boyfriend's defense, he does have a very rare, incurable visual impairment that makes it difficult for him to do most jobs that he could get without a diploma or degree (shop work/bar work etc) as his sight problems are quite complex and there's little employers can do to adjust things for him, in his experience. There's also no glasses/contact lenses/operations to help as it's so rare and it does affect almost everything he does and would make menial jobs difficult. In a job sweeping the floor, for example, he would probably miss bits because he wouldn't be able to see properly what he's sweeping. In a shop, he would find the brightness of the till screen too bright for his eyes and so wouldn't be able to use it...He's not just lazy. He is also a good guy in many ways and looks after my DD a lot (she has issues with anxiety and is physically ill a lot) so I don't really like coming down hard on him and demanding money that he doesn't have.

But yes, after what everyone has said I now accept I've been unfair to his mother and feel quite bad now!

OP posts:

willstarttomorrow · 22/12/2019 19:13

This is what contents insurance is for if it has been accidentally damaged. And sometime things just break. I am amazed the mum was as accommodating as she was and handed over a tv. I am even more amazed you had the audacity to ask in the first place and then continue this vendetta. It is a TV, they break. I have a 12 year old one and have just realised a few pixels are going. There is another upstairs I can swap it with or pick up one relatively cheaply these days.

spongedog · 22/12/2019 19:18

"Close friend" "gifted" = do you think or know your "friend" didnt acquire the TV legitimately? Hence no warranty ( which is why you haven't asked for it)

GooeyLooey · 22/12/2019 19:19

The boyfriend is 24 for goodness sake. He's an adult. It's not up to his family to pay because he broke something.

I would never have actually asked for anything as that's rude
Yes it is.

but I do feel like it should be offered.
By his family? He's 24 years old!

On balance I can absolutely accept that it's nothing to do with his mum
Absolutely!

I think boyfriend's family have a different outlook
Here you're making it sound as though they are unreasonable. He's a 24 year old man, of course they shouldn't be paying for him.

And if it is covered, boyfriend's family can have their tv back!
Wow that's big of you After you've broken it.

I'm not even sure this is real, someone can't be this cheeky!

ZenNudist · 22/12/2019 19:20

Im aghast. Leave the boyfriend's mum out of it. In fact give her her TV back. Stop counting her money.

Meanwhile you'd be within your rights to ask bf not to stay over any more. But petty to enforce that. I'd let it go.

I also can't believe you've guilted some poor friend into buying you a TV in the first place. Are they loaded (and I mean millionaire not "can afford a new cooker and breaks away" rich)?

Rules for life:

Dont accept generous gifts you cant afford to reciprocate except for family who insist (after you repeatedly refuse).
if something breaks in your house you pay to fix it, regardless of whose fault it was.
contents insurance is essential. Houses burn down e.g. electrical fires.

Veterinari · 22/12/2019 19:23

@Bluemoon61
Don’t Feel bad - it’s a rubbish situation for you too - sadly just one of those things.
Do you by any chance still have the TV? If it’s within 12 months of purchase the warranty might still be with a try? If not the check out Facebook selling groups/gumtree etc for cheap/free TVs

BoomBoomsCousin · 22/12/2019 19:30

I accept a disability that makes it hard for him to do non-professional type jobs it could be much harder/nigh on impossible to get temporary or casual work. Though I do wonder how he manages his xbox games if his vision issues make sweeping up and using a till impossible.

Buteven without that bit of cynicism it’s also the case that he’s now 24 - a time at which most people have got their degree and a few years of work under their belt. And if he’s on benefits but all his necessary living expenses are paid for by his mum or you he has actually got a fair amount of disposable income.

I’m not suggesting it isn’t harder for him with a disability, but your description of him suggests a learned helplessness that is problematic and pretty entitled. Does he do anything to set himself up to be able to support himself in the future?

Gemma2019 · 22/12/2019 19:41

Wasn't the warranty in the box when you were given the TV? Maybe look on the manufacturer's website and put the model number/serial number in and there should be details of the standard warranty.

Original poster

Bluemoon61 · 22/12/2019 19:43

@willstarttomorrow - once again, I did not 'ask' for it.

@GooeyLooey - When I said I think a replacement should be offered, I wasn't meaning his family should be responsible for replacing it. I never said/thought this. I think people are misunderstanding and thinking that I expected his mum to deal with it. I didn't, but his mum does seem to treat him like a child and when he said that he had no money and his mum was going to replace it, I just assumed this is how their family works. I've said that on balance I regret taking the TV from her but I never asked for it or held her responsible. I'm just disappointed with how the situation played out because I've ended up with an older, smaller TV that doesn't work because someone broke my new one. And I did not break the TV they gave me. It simply stopped working properly.

My whole post was really supposed to be about the principle of whether someone should replace a TV that they've broken, or whether I should replace it myself.

@ZenNudist - I absolutely did not guilt anyone into buying me anything. My friend bought the TV for me, without telling me beforehand, because she knew that my current one was old. I didn't advertise this, she just knew from visiting and thought she would be kind. She presented me with the already bought TV in it's box - am I supposed to refuse to accept it? IMO refusing to accept a kindly offered gift is rude.

OP posts:

sugarplumtum · 22/12/2019 19:46

Op I'm in shock I can't believe you actually took the bf mother's TV because you were to embarrassed to ask for the warranty.

You got gifted a TV, it broke and you got a replacement, all the while you didn't take any responsibility to get the TV in the first place or deal with the issue.

I just got a brand new iPhone and with in 4 days it wouldn't switch on, I didn't do anything it's just faulty. Unless the tv has a mark anything couldn't of happen to it.
And from how your speak on here, the bf sounds like he just wanted to fix the situation instead of actually being at fault.

Nomorepies · 22/12/2019 19:46

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on the poster's request.

JuniperBeer · 22/12/2019 19:47

Just ask your friend for the warranty details!

Bagofworries · 22/12/2019 19:48

OP, You have said that despite your DD's BF being responsible for breaking the tv, you accept there is nothing he can do about it, because he is on benefits and cant afford to replace the tv.
Is this a tv for general use in the house? In your front room?
Would your DD be able to sort out another tv for you?
I think I'd be more inclined to ask my DD rather than a complete stranger whom I have never spoken to

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