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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think they should pay for a new TV?

126 replies

Bluemoon61 · 22/12/2019 17:04

Just over a year ago my very close friend gifted me a new smart tv, with a value of £250. A few months ago my DD's boyfriend got up in the middle of the night to plug in and play on his Xbox that he had brought to our house (he did ask DD's permission to do this). When I got up the next morning and turned on the tv there was a big interior crack on the screen, leaving white blurry marks across the screen, making it unwatchable. I asked them what had happened and her boyfriend said he didn't know anything about it, as he never actually turned the tv on because he couldn't find a socket to plug his Xbox into. He said he did move the tv around a little, but didn't think he'd been heavy handed.

Obviously I was very angry. DD's boyfriend said he would ask his mum if she would lend him the money (£250) to replace the tv as he didn't have any money at the time. His mum said she didn't have that kind of money (which i find hard to believe because she is always going away on holidays/concerts/weekends away and just bought a new cooker). Instead she said we could have the tv from her bedroom (a year older and smaller). I picked up the tv and brought it I've to my house and installed it and now a few months later it has started playing up (TV takes ages to turn on from standbye). I don't think I've done anything to break it, and DD's boyfriend's mum said it worked perfectly fine when she had it.

I still feel annoyed that my new Smart tv got broken and have now been left with a smaller, less valuable one that doesn't even work properly.

DD's boyfriend has apparently expressed annoyance that I didn't request the warranty details from my friend who bought me the tv, as it was still under warranty at the time he broke it. His thinking is that his mother shouldn't have had to give me a tv and that I should have asked for the warranty. The reasons I didn't ask for the warranty were a.) I felt embarrassed telling he that DD's boyfriend had broken the new TV she ad kindly bought us, and b.) I honestly don't think the warranty would have covered accidental breakage, as surely that classes as negligence? Boyfriend thinks this is a silly reason, as I shouldn't have been embarrassed and should have at least checked the warranty to see what it covered.

AIBU to think that if you break someone's tv, you either pay to replace it or buy a new one and the new TV should match the one you broke in value and size, even if this means that you yourself go without something (for example a new cooker). Or should I have just asked for the warranty?

OP posts:
Panpastels · 22/12/2019 18:09

Doesn't cheap contents insurance tend to have a large excess which renders it pointless for cheaper items?
I don't bother with it, I take my chances.
I think you are wrong to expect the mother to pay up and you don't know for sure it was the bf's fault anyway!

Fairylea · 22/12/2019 18:09

You really, really need buildings and contents insurance even if you are low income. It should be treated as just as essential as things like council tax etc. If your house burns down you will be absolutely screwed otherwise.

This has nothing to do with the boyfriends mum. How embarrassing to drag her into it from all sides. The boyfriend should pay £10 a week or whatever towards a new one. Or the very first thing he should do when getting a new job is to give you something towards it.

Just as an idea op, you can get a very good smart tv from AO.com for not very much on a monthly interest free payment.

DowntonCrabby · 22/12/2019 18:10

It’s far too late to request they pay now.

You shouldn’t have accepted the tv from his Mum. He’s a grown man who should have paid you back at the time, even if it took him a couple of months.

BoomBoomsCousin · 22/12/2019 18:10

Also- just realised - he’s got a bloody xbox. He could have sold that to replace your TV.

Pinkandwhitemarshmallows · 22/12/2019 18:11

So the boyfriend said he didn't break it, but he was going to ask his mum to give him the money to pay for it! He clearly did break it! But at 24 it'd be his responsibility not his mum's.

If it's any help PCWorld fixes broken tvs for £95. I know that's not cheap if you don't have much money, but it's better than £250 for a new one.

Fr0g · 22/12/2019 18:14

should have gone back to friend about the warranty - just explain the fault, no need to say how you think it might have been caused.

LionelRitchieStoleMyNotebook · 22/12/2019 18:16

I can't believe there are adults who have no contents insurance (who have belongings to insure), you should've sold the £250 TV and insured your property. You don't know he broke it and yet you took another TV from his mother, but wouldn't ask your friend for the warranty because you were embarrassed? Doesn't make sense.

Bluerussian · 22/12/2019 18:20

You can buy a new tv on tick from Argos and not have to make any payments for six or twelve months, after which you pay monthly if you cannot afford to pay it off. The tv will be under warranty & they'll replace it if it goes wrong. Order it this evening and you'll get it tomorrow, subject to credit checks.

I'm just putting this forward as an idea because I think you've left it too long to ask for warranty on your original smart television and the one daughter's boyfriend's mum gave you was a few months ago.

Maybe he should pay but you can't get blood out of a stone if he is on JS allowance and it's nothing to do with his mum really. She was generous to give you her upstairs television.

Sometimes the British Heart Foundation have quite good televisions which are cheap, everything is tested before being put up for sale. If it lasts six months or even a year, it's a result.

MonstranceClock · 22/12/2019 18:20

If can’t believe you took his mums tv. THATS embarrassing.

anxioussue · 22/12/2019 18:24

He's 24, it's nothing to do with his mother. She's been more than reasonable giving you her television, she didn't and doesn't owe you anything.

You need to claim on your house insurance, the warranty won't cover accidental damage unless your friend paid for an expensive one which just duplicates your home insurance anyway in most cases.

Yabvu

ScreamingValalalalahLalalalah · 22/12/2019 18:25

Don't take on debt for the sake of having an up to date TV. Get the cheapest second hand one you can find, and save up for something better.

I speak from experience - I had an ancient black and white TV for six months in the 90s while I saved for a decent one - you really won't miss the fancy one as much as you think.

Andylion · 22/12/2019 18:26

I know it's beside the point but why would your DD tell him it was ok to play video games in the middle of the night in your house? Did she ever offer to help pay for a new tv? He was, after all, her guest and her responsibility.

GruciusMalfoy · 22/12/2019 18:27

At 24 years old this has nothing to do with his mother. He should have paid for it, you shouldn't have accepted her TV, you certainly shouldn't expect her to forego a holiday or a new cooker to pay for something her feckless adult son broke! Ridiculous.

ScreamingValalalalahLalalalah · 22/12/2019 18:27
  • I second the British Heart Foundation, as above. I often go there for furniture - they have old TVs for £20 - £30.
anxioussue · 22/12/2019 18:27

We have had a £250 smart tv for about 6 years they last well if they are looked after,

.

nokidshere · 22/12/2019 18:29

YABU in expecting the parent to pay for something that her adult son may or may not have done regardless of how much money she has. Yabu accepting a tv from her and now not wanting it because it's not working properly. Yabu because you are an adult who needs to sort this stuff out and not expect others to do it. You didn't need to accept the mother's offer of a replacement tv if you weren't happy with it. And without proof that he did something to break it you don't really have a leg to stand on sadly.

katy1213 · 22/12/2019 18:31

Nothing to do with his mum; how old is he, seven?
But I'd be having words with your daughter about lumbering herself with an unemployed man-child who plays games in the middle of the night. (Might he have a job if he got up in the morning at a reasonable hour????) She can do better for herself than this!
One year after the event, there's little you can do. But he certainly wouldn't be welcome in my house as a guest until he'd made good.

BumbleBeee69 · 22/12/2019 18:32

DD's boyfriend can't replace it because he's currently not working and has practically no money. So chasing him for it would be futile. He's 24

But ......... it was DD's boyfriend that broke the tv... right? Confused

GooeyLooey · 22/12/2019 18:33

I know it's not her responsibly

Keep remembering this.

You are a CF to a taken a TV from his mum in the first place. Now you want her to replace it. Wow, the brass neck of you!

QueenoftheBiscuitTin · 22/12/2019 18:38

It's more embarrassing asking a 24 year old man's Mum for money to replace it. He most definitely broke it though.

Saltandsauce · 22/12/2019 18:38

Wow, I think his mum was very kind to give you her tv, as it had buggar all to do with her! So don’t look a gift horse in the mouth regarding the replacement tv.
The boyfriend should have offered to pay or replace, but I do agree that you could have at least checked with the warranty to see if you could get it replaced or fixed.

Saltandsauce · 22/12/2019 18:39

Oh and the amount of money his mother has and what she spends it on has naff all to do with you!!

Fairylea · 22/12/2019 18:42

Reading between the lines it seems that you view your dds boyfriend as still a child.... this seems to be such a common thing nowadays. It’s like people stay overgrown teenagers until they’re 30. He’s 24. I had a 2 year old child by then. He’s an adult. It has absolutely nothing to do with his mum.

Original poster
Bluemoon61 · 22/12/2019 18:43

@Mummymummums - No, I don't think he lied and actually tipped it over. I think he genuinely did break it by accident and didn't realise.

@Straycatstrut - He doesn't support himself, he lives at home with parents and pays no board because he has nothing. He's not claiming benefits. He is currently doing a diploma at home and planning to go to uni next year, so it's not like he's doing absolutely nothing with his life.

@BoomBoomsCousin - yes he stays here without paying anything to food or heating/electric...

To clarify, I am not actually 'chasing' anyone - I never asked for money or a replacement, DD's boyfriend offered to approach his mum because he knew I was upset. I would never have actually asked for anything as that's rude, but I do feel like it should be offered. I was brought up to think that if you break someone's property you replace it no matter what and of course the person doesn't ask you to replace it, but you should offer. I haven't ever spoken to his mum directly, this is all through him talking to his mum and then my DD, and DD telling me what's been said. I have no plans to ask anyone for anything, I was simply asking if I was BU to feel displeased at the situation.

I accepted the TV because there was nothing else on offer. On balance I can absolutely accept that it's nothing to do with his mum and maybe I shouldn't have accepted it and instead 'chased' the boyfriend for the money but like I said he has nothing so what can you do? I also accept I should have probably asked for the warranty to make sure, but I just didn't want to tell my friend that DD's boyfriend broke the TV and give him a bad name iyswim. I also honestly didn't think the warranty could cover accidental damage but as so many people have suggested it and also don't seem to think I should be embarrassed, I'm wondering if I should ask friend for details? And if it is covered, boyfriend's family can have their tv back!

I think my real problem with it is that I've always thought that if you break something, you pay for it and the person shouldn't need to ask you to do this. I think boyfriend's family have a different outlook, as DD said her boyfriend told her that if she broke the TV in their house they wouldn't ask her to replace it because 'it's just not what you do.'

OP posts:
BrendasUmbrella · 22/12/2019 18:43

Won't your friend be more put out when she sees the TV gone and finds out you didn't even try to check the warranty?

If it's still possible, do that.

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