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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think the use of cannabis amongst teens has spread like a disease.

69 replies

FluffyMuppet · 21/12/2019 22:15

DS(13) has been telling me that most of his friends are now smoking cannabis when they meet up. He doesn't smoke it himself, we have drummed into him the danger of smoking. He watched me struggling to breathe for years whilst relying on oxygen, so he has seen the nasty side of lung disease.

But I am so scared that eventually he will give in to the peer pressure. He recently changed friend groups and I was relieved, these new kids seemed nice. Only he has come today and said that his new group were smoking it too. Even at school, he has seen kids bring grinders in and some smoke it in the corner of the school field.

One of his friends is delivering drugs to some sort of post box and the other boys have been asking how they can do it too to make some money.

DS tells me all of this on the condition that I keep it to myself. I wouldn't have a clue if he didn't tell me and I don't want to betray his trust. But this is all so worrying. Drugs are everywhere and we don't even live in a inner city dodgy area, this is a wealthy commuter town.

Is this normal in other parts of the country too? What can we do to stop the spread?

OP posts:

Sux2buthen · 21/12/2019 22:23

I think it's the way it's always been. All you can do is educate and keep communication open.
Peer pressire can be powerful and it's worrying but there's not much point stressing yourself over what might happen.

aggitatedstate · 21/12/2019 22:38

This scares the shit out of me :( DS is 6, I would be devastated.

3 addicts in my family so I hope the dark side puts him off.

Al 3 addicts are in recovery

mauvaisereputation · 21/12/2019 22:44

I'd definitely have a word with the school about the lad selling drugs. I get that you've promised your son, but children getting into drug dealing is really grim and these kids could be put on a very dark path if there isn't an intervention. I'd also inform the school about drugs on school premises - because as you say this does normalise it and potentially has bad knock on effects for the entire community. If you tell the school no one the kids (including your son) won't know it's you.

Occasional weed use by teens is not the end of the world, but heavy usage is not normal or universal so I think it is ok to take steps to emphasise this. I don't have experience of teens (apart from when I was one) so not sure what steps they would be - hopefully others can help.

WalkAwaySugarbear · 21/12/2019 22:47

I don't think this is new, drugs were rife at my school in the 90s. Poppers, weed, pills all fairly easy to get hold of.

MustardScreams · 21/12/2019 22:48

Weed is far less dangerous than booze tbf. I’d be more worried if my teen was out drinking all the time.

Sparklesocks · 21/12/2019 22:49

I can understand why you’re worried about DS’ friends. Sounds like he knows his own mind though and feels he can talk about it with you which is good.
I’m not sure if it’s quite a new thing though, haven’t teens always experimented with cannabis? It was that way when I was one (although I was too nervous to try it then!)

Zoflorabauble · 21/12/2019 22:53

I do live on the outskirts of a big city which would be classed as rough and I have never experienced this at all with my ds who is 16 and in sixth form. He tells me everything ( sometimes too much ) and I know his best friend smokes and who has had sex etc and that the majority of them drink at parties but no weed at all.

This is quite scary. 13 is very young to be smoking weed. When I was doing my A levels around age 17/18 I went through a slight phase of smoking it but that’s all it was and my friends were the same age and older. I would be horrified if my son saw this as normal at that age and I’m a pretty relaxed parent.

Do you know any of the parents?

FruityWidow · 21/12/2019 22:55

He'd have a harder time getting hold of it if we're legalised and regulated. But the education isn't there yet in the UK.

Chocolateandchats · 21/12/2019 22:56

Sadly I think it’s very normal. All you can do is educate your child and keep lines of communication open. A lot of my teens friends smoke it, luckily she doesn’t like the effect it has on her so she doesn’t. Definitely tell the school what you know but don’t tell your son that you’ve done that. Make it clear to your son that if he ever smokes or does anything else you need to know. I’ve drummed it into my DD that I can’t help unless I know what she’s had.

Ronnie27 · 21/12/2019 22:56

It’s just a rubbish drug isn’t it, makes teenagers demotivated and lazy just at the time they need to be out there thinking about their futures and seizing opportunities. It creates losers, I hate that it’s seen by a lot of people as relatively harmless.

nonevernotever · 21/12/2019 22:58

The dealing side is more worrying tbh. This sounds very like exploitation by serious organised crime groups. Can you report anonymously through crime stoppers? And talk to your son about the violence and very real risks that come with involvement in this

Maryann1975 · 21/12/2019 22:59

I’m nearly 40 and although it wasn’t normal when I was at school, it was definitely ‘a thing’. I grew up in a nice middle class village, on the outskirts of a nice middle class town. I knew where I could get cannabis if I wanted it (the policeman’s son sold it). So I don’t think it’s a new thing, but it does worry me.
Be pleased that he has told you, that shows a really good level of trust between you. I’m concerned about the friends delivering, isn’t this a kind of ‘county lines’ thing? I would report this, the police, you must be able to do this anonymously or talk to safeguarding at school, especially about the drugs at school. That should be treated confidentiality. I was talking to a social worker friend recently about this and she was saying that this kind of issue is really increasing in areas where it is not expected (much like my town) as no one is really looking out for it, parents don’t expect it and so it’s easier to get away with for longer.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 21/12/2019 23:00

I've always heard that it was the wealthy commuter towns that were the worst.

I've got no advice op, I think I'd try and report it anonymously if possible so the school are made aware and you've not betrayed your son.

TheHumansAreDefinitelyDead · 21/12/2019 23:03

Around our leafy posh town, drug use amongst young teens is rife. Weed and Spice at 13, moving to E and Let mine at 14/15, it is everywhere.

Keep talking to your kid.

When I saw an acquaintance 13year dealing drugs in the rec, I contacted the school anonymously (contacted their safe guarding peed on as I thought he might be targeted by country lines gang), other parents must have reported too as police and SS got involved with bunch of kids

Sad really

anxioussue · 21/12/2019 23:16

Weed now is worse than it used to so I am told. My dd has voluntarily ended a friendship cos they smoke weed.

Original poster

FluffyMuppet · 21/12/2019 23:29

I have seen a relative totally controlled by weed. He has been trying to quit for over 10 years and yo-yos between a lovely, sweet man and a raging maniac when he is going through withdrawal. I just can't risk DS going down the same path.

I have been considering speaking to the school about the drug delivering or going to Crimestoppers. My only fear is if DS realises what I have done he will never trust me again.

OP posts:

lilgreen · 21/12/2019 23:32

I have teen DDs and they tell me it’s widespread. Most only dabble but some get in deep. Others take ketamine and mdma. Reading festival was rife.

Bluerussian · 21/12/2019 23:46

Well I will be seventy in ten days and it happened when I was a teen and twenty something. There is nothing new under the sun.

When my son was fourteenish I caught him and a friend with some weed. I told them off, confiscated the dope and told them I would wrap in toilet paper and flush it. I went into the toilet for a while and flushed twice.

(Only I hadn't flushed it.....I thought of a better use for it but we won't talk about that.)

Icepinkeskimo · 21/12/2019 23:53

I think it's fantastic that you have had this conversation, it's frank and honest and based on trust and love.

Let's not beat around the bush here, cannabis use is rife these days. People can stick their heads in the sand and say otherwise but the truth is, it's escalated and combined with the sheer potency of some of these genetically engineered strains there is now a crisis amongst teenagers and young adults with mental health problems, as a direct result of prolonged cannabis use.

OP you are not going to be the only parent in this country worried about their child and the escalation of cannabis use. Schools need to adopt a zero tolerance approach to Cannabis use. Parents need to bring this up with the school. What measures does your sons school have? And if none then why?

Cannabis is no longer a 'happy' drug like it was viewed 20 years ago, it's a drug that is so strong these days it can and does trigger, a whole variety of serious mental health conditions. It can and does destroy lives.

Thelnebriati · 22/12/2019 00:00

Yanbu The weed you get these days is insanely strong, and I feel really sorry for kids that just want to have a childhood. They're under so much pressure.

MiniMum97 · 22/12/2019 00:02

I don't think it's any more prevalent than when I was at school.

Gibbonsgibbonsgibbons · 22/12/2019 00:07

That would terrify me. Lots of kids will be fine but for a minority serious lifelong MH problems can be triggered.
I lost two special people to this drug, sounds like you’re doing a great job keeping communication open with your son

teentree · 22/12/2019 00:12

Weed is far less dangerous than booze tbf. I’d be more worried if my teen was out drinking all the time.

It didn't take long did it?

It's not a one or the other situation. Justifying weed use using alcohol is ridiculous. If you want to argue weed is ok then do so, but don't use the 'something else is worse'. It's a weak argument.

DdraigGoch · 22/12/2019 00:14

I've always heard that it was the wealthy commuter towns that were the worst.
I know that the plural of "anecdote" isn't "evidence" but I'd noticed that too. Maybe you just expect it in rough areas so you don't notice it, whereas in wealthier areas it surprises you.

It needs cracking down on.

SpoonBlender · 22/12/2019 00:24

Modern weed is fucking awful. None of the nice relax of my yoof, it's all weird paranoia and fast heartbeats. /misses the point

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