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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think the use of cannabis amongst teens has spread like a disease.

69 replies

FluffyMuppet · 21/12/2019 22:15

DS(13) has been telling me that most of his friends are now smoking cannabis when they meet up. He doesn't smoke it himself, we have drummed into him the danger of smoking. He watched me struggling to breathe for years whilst relying on oxygen, so he has seen the nasty side of lung disease.

But I am so scared that eventually he will give in to the peer pressure. He recently changed friend groups and I was relieved, these new kids seemed nice. Only he has come today and said that his new group were smoking it too. Even at school, he has seen kids bring grinders in and some smoke it in the corner of the school field.

One of his friends is delivering drugs to some sort of post box and the other boys have been asking how they can do it too to make some money.

DS tells me all of this on the condition that I keep it to myself. I wouldn't have a clue if he didn't tell me and I don't want to betray his trust. But this is all so worrying. Drugs are everywhere and we don't even live in a inner city dodgy area, this is a wealthy commuter town.

Is this normal in other parts of the country too? What can we do to stop the spread?

OP posts:
DonutMan · 22/12/2019 00:41

Yes, IMO it's fairly common.

I don't think week's much worse than alcohol....in isolation. However, a lot of people I know who continued smoking it daily have now become pretty sad cases - little motivation to do anything but a shit job which allows them to sit on the sofa and get baked every night. Most if said group never learnt to drive and a few have moved back in with their parents in their 30s (seemingly in no hurry to move back out).

phoenixrosehere · 22/12/2019 01:24

Weed is far less dangerous than booze tbf. I’d be more worried if my teen was out drinking all the time

I always thought alcohol was more of a gateway drug then weed ever was. Alcohol could be found anywhere and many parents will pass off its use by teenagers as “kids being kids” or think as long as they’re doing it in front of them, it’s not dangerous ignoring the fact that long term use especially when young is detrimental to health. Heck, the answer to most things seems to be having a drink. Good day.. have a drink to celebrate... bad day.. drown your sorrows with in a drink.. need to relax.. have a drink.. need confidence.. have a drink.. yet weed brings out the pearl clutchers.

To find someone who sells weed, you’d actually have to know someone or know someone that knows someone.

I’d be worried either way and asking why they felt the need to drink or smoke in the first place.

phoenixrosehere · 22/12/2019 01:25

*than

RonaldMcDonald · 22/12/2019 01:26

Nothing

They should legalise it immediately
Use the taxes to fund the NHS

BlouseAndSkirt · 22/12/2019 01:56

“Drugs are everywhere and we don't even live in a inner city dodgy area, this is a wealthy commuter town”

Well I do live in an inner city dodgy area, but it being London also has trendy wealthy middle class families.

The middle class kids smoke as much weed as the others, and are far more likely to use MDMA and other stuff. They have more money.

And guess what? Their parents use coke all the time.

Thinking it only goes in in ‘dodgy’ areas makes parents complacent, The police focus is skewed making m/c drug users feel immune (they are,largely) and the endless black males who are stopped and searched feel demonised.

Journalists writing concerned or alarmed features in the Guardian etc will be surrounded by weed and coke using colleagues.

Drugs changing hands in piss soaked stairwells, Shoreditch flats or Surrey mansions all come from the same grubby exploitative trade, trafficked minors tending hydroponic skunk farms etc.

The whole country needs to be honest about what is going on and look to their peers in order to tackle it.

WhentheRabbitsWentWild · 22/12/2019 02:06

Well said @Blouseandskirt

Pixxie7 · 22/12/2019 02:19

Totally agree I was fortunate none of my 3 ever succumbed but I am frightened for my grandchildren.

DonutMan · 22/12/2019 02:20

The police focus is skewed making m/c drug users feel immune (they are,largely) and the endless black males who are stopped and searched feel demonised.

I can imagine the police are more interested in the pointy end (pardon the pun) at which drug dealers are stabbing each other over territories rather than the businessman doing lines in a bar with his mates (although the latter undoubtedly contributes to the existence of the former).

PicsInRed · 22/12/2019 02:20

Yeah, yeah, weed's so harmless, rather that than alcohol Hmm ... tell you what, grow up amongst a community of multi-generation heavy weed users and tell me again how fucking harmless it is.

DonutMan · 22/12/2019 02:38

Yeah, yeah, weed's so harmless, rather that than alcohol... tell you what, grow up amongst a community of multi-generation heavy weed users and tell me again how fucking harmless it is.

Most things taken to extremes are bad IMO (as in my above post about the stoners I know who never stopped smoking daily). But I certainly know more functioning stoners who hold down jobs and smoke every night than I do alcoholics who get blackout drunk every night and go to work the next morning. Everything in moderation I guess.

and the endless black males who are stopped and searched feel demonised.

I recently had an in depth discussion about this and other similar things with a black colleague - he's a professional driver and we were on a several hour drive to a depot up north. He's from a pretty rough part of London and said he's in two minds about it. In his opinion, white kids get away with much more in terms of drug abuse/antics etc, but most serious gang violence he'd seen was from black youths. We were talking, amongst other things, about the historical association of machismo and violence with black youth culture - previously gangsta hip hop and, lately, UK drill which many black youths seem all too keen to embrace he said, which doesn't help matters. It's a bit of a minefield to discuss as a white person tbh, but I'm on good enough terms with this bloke to have a frank discussion.

UK drill: www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/music/2018/apr/09/uk-drill-music-london-wave-violent-crime

RonaldMcDonald · 22/12/2019 02:58

I also really wonder how many parents believe their kids never did or would whilst they regularly do

Monty27 · 22/12/2019 03:34

@55FruityWidow
That's the best argument I've ever heard in terms of legalisation of cannabis. Spot on. Just like tobacco and alcohol. Bring it from the underground and get it monitored properly to protect underage people.
That could seriously work very well.
OP sadly it's become normalised in many societies today. There's no morales involved. Please try and discourage your ds otherwise he might get sucked in by the suppliers. It's how they work. Sad

DonutMan · 22/12/2019 08:36

It would be much harder for 14yo lads to buy if it were age restricted and properly monitored.

RidgedPerfection · 22/12/2019 09:05

If your police force area has a safer schools partnership that might be a place to start with expressing your concerns. Your DS would never have to know that you had spoken to the police. Or report via Crimestoppers where you'd be anonymous. If you know this information and it's done as openly as you suggest then others will be aware of it too. The move into drug running rather than simple usage by one of the boys and the desire of others to become involved to make money would concern me.

SourAndSnippy · 22/12/2019 13:22

I would much rather my kids drink than use cannabis. Although drinking to excess isn't great obviously 😕.

I think it's a nasty drug - especially the type that's about these days. I hate the crime that surrounds it and most of all I hate what it does to peoples minds. They may not be 'addicted' in the same way as a crack addict but it still screws some (NOTE THE WORD SOME) people up. I've witnessed several teens react badly to it. It's not nice.

My four kids were all surrounded by kids taking drugs at Uni - including the medical students 🙄. Not everyone but a lot were. There was a lot of ket use.
I'd say it was 'normal'.

noblegiraffe · 22/12/2019 13:27

One of his friends is delivering drugs to some sort of post box and the other boys have been asking how they can do it too to make some money.

Is there the possibility that there is some County Lines grooming going on?

Please report the dealing to the school.

BoneyBackJefferson · 22/12/2019 13:46

Maryann1975
I knew where I could get cannabis if I wanted it (the policeman’s son sold it)

This ^ seems to be fairly normal.

and Yes to what noblegiraffe said about county lines. Please report this to the school.

Thatagain · 22/12/2019 13:49

It's a lot different now.
When I was at secondary school we got weed for free. Now it's all about the money. There was a saying that it's against the law to buy canabis but it's not against the law to give it. Lot's of people smoked it. I didn't here of anyone paying for it. There was a rich kid who gave it away and I knew a few growers who was against the selling of canabis. So from my experience it is a lot different. You have a very good DS and you should happy that he can confide in you. I don't think you have much to worry about as he has already told you things that children just don't say to their perents.

BoneyBackJefferson · 22/12/2019 13:53

Thatagain
It's a lot different now.
When I was at secondary school we got weed for free. Now it's all about the money.

That is a very naive view, they weren't giving it to you out of the goodness of their hearts, it was so that they could get money from you later on.

MrsWooster · 22/12/2019 14:01

Weed is not what it was. ‘Normal’ weed now is immeasurably stronger than normal weed back in my day and developing brains are awfully damaged by the current stuff.

Howlongtillbedtime · 22/12/2019 14:03

Weed scares me , the demotivating affect it has on teens at the worst possible time of their lives is awful. Also the mental health issues it brings with it when the system is just not equipped to deal with it is terrifying .
I do think the fact that some states in America have legalised it and they constantly see their heroes talking about getting stoned and normalising the whole thing is doing them no favours at all.

I am also not naive enough to think if it was legalised here it would stop the associated crime. There will always be a market for weed.
Skunk of today bears very little relation to the dope of my youth.

Emeraldshamrock · 22/12/2019 14:07

I doubt it will change any time soon. It was always popular when I was a teen in a rough area, now it is everywhere.
I'd prefer it to using alcohol in teens.

lpchill · 22/12/2019 14:09

As a youth worker, it seems the perception of it has changed. Its so much easier and cheaper to get a hold of the alcohol or normal cigarettes. A lot of young people in my groups mainly smoke
It as an escape/relaxant as they are not getting support from home or schools. It's also way to easy for them to start on other more dangerous drugs like ketamine and speed seem to be popular atm.

I've just reported to the police via 101 and a CPI form about an 18yr old dealer- the issue is the police don't want the low end dealers they want the distributors and the main people running the gangs so it takes months/ years to follow the trail. This doesn't help young people right now. If they are smoking it giving them advise on how to be safe. And as other people are saying keep communication lines open, explaining dangers and being a listening ear. A lot of the regular users tend to not have this at home (not a dig at anyone just what I'm seeing within youth groups in my area)

lpchill · 22/12/2019 14:09

*cheaper than alcohol and cigarettes

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