AIBU to really want to go back to work?

[kevintheorangecarrot]

I went back to work when my DS was 7 months as I enjoy working and it also keeps my depression at bay. If I am at home all day every day, I start to lose the will to live and fall into deep depression. My family and I have moved away so I had to hand in my notice and we both decided that I should try being a SAHM for a while.

However, after 2 weeks I was already starting to get into depression (feeling very low and worthless) and being at the end of my tether with DS by losing my patience with him, shouting at him and telling him to pack it in because nothing I ever did was good enough. When we go out in public, he plays up and starts shouting and hitting me. I can't be fucking doing with it. I love him so much but I cannot cope with being at home with him 24/7.

I feel like the worse mum on the planet because everyone I know says they love being a SAHM... how?! If it continues any longer, I'd be needing plenty of Prozac. Thankfully I have been accepted for a new job to start next month and I just feel so much happier and more positive.

YANBU some of us aren't cut out to be with our children full time. I'm a much better mother when I've been at work.

YANBU. Horses for courses being a SAHM isn't for everyone & few people can afford it these days. It's good to set a positive example to your DC by working & good financially in the long run.

It's lucky you have a new job lined up. Good luck with it.

I was the same, kids are 7&11 - me and DH worked flexibly to do school runs and used some after school clubs etc, and they net to nursery also
I couldn't have stayed home

YANBU - it's not for everyone and your mental health is a priority.

I went back after 6 weeks as I could not handle the SAHM job.
We are all very happy and they have grown into wonderful young women who are very independent.
Good luck

YANBU. I practically skipped back to work after MAT leave. I love my DC more than anything but my job also means a lot to me and there's nothing wrong with that.

I experienced the same difficulties as you... I went back to work 3 weeks ago after 3 years as a SAHM and I am much happier x

YANBU. I've been on maternity leave for 8 months and I am counting down the days until I go back to work on 2nd January!

I would say things have been largely ok, my 3 year old is energetic so he's a bit of a handful, but he's not naughty and is generally well-behaved and sweet. It's been hard juggling a newborn/baby and a toddler, but there have only been a handful of days I've wanted to run for the hills and not look back.

That said, I'm 90% ready to go back to work. I'm 5% worried about how my baby (exclusively breastfed, has just taken his first bottle today) will cope with being in nursery and I'm 5% feeling guilty that my toddler will miss spending so much time with me. But I really miss being respected at work, talking to adults and solving problems and (saddo alert) doing spreadsheets.

I went back after 9 months and couldn't wait!! Being at home all day with a child, makes me cranky, tired, and angry. Being at work gives me structure and confidence. I'm a great working mum, I would be a crap SAHM.

Try and find yourself a part time job and sort out child care; you need to be back in the working world for the sake of your mental health, looking for a job is the first step, an activity in itself.

Good luck.

What Minister said.

Yep, YANBU. I love my kids, but I'm a shit mum when I don't work. I'm so glad I can work.

Hated the SAHM role. YANBU at all.

DS is 8 months and i went back last month. I feel much much better when i have some time away from him, as much as i love him!

yanbu I'm much happier working (PT) and don't know how SAHP do it. i wish i had worked a bit harder in my youth to have a better career so that's what I'm doing now. i don't feel guilty. we all need our own thing and looking after your children is HARD.

Why did you move and agree to resign?

YANBU for wanting to work. Barring any ill health I would never want to be financially reliant on DH.

I needed to go back too OP

I went back when DS was 8 months, I had to for my own sanity as well as financial reasons

I adore him but I'm not cut out to be a SAHM. I take my hat off to those who are, it's way harder than a FT job outside the home to me

I hear you OP, I tried the SAHM thing and I'm simply not cut out for it, I lost my 'self' and started to slip into a hole. I'm back FT now and everyone is happier

Even if you were “cut out for” for and had really enioyed SAH you still may not choose it. SAH brings high personal risks.

Only a tiny proportion of fathers SAH. They’re not expected to justify working.

YANBU. Going back to work saved my sanity. Being a SAHP takes a certain type of person.

Good morning all. It's so nice that people relate to me on here! A family member of mine is a SAHM and she'd be shocked if I told her I love going to work. She's a proper SAHM/Mumsy type of girl. I just couldn't handle it! I am even studying with OU as well. I just love having things to do, staying busy and being constructive and that includes spending time with my child as well of course. I just enjoy the structure and routine of going to work and back like majority of you said! I always have done.

I finished working in sept 19 and wont resume until mid 21 (if plans work out). Will have 2 children by the time I return but cannot wait to get back. The freedom is lovely and it's so nice to not live by a clock but i am definitely supposed to be a working mum.

I wouldn’t have wanted to be a SAHM either. I went back to work when DD turned 1 and I was so very ready. I’d go absolutely round the twist if I didn’t have a job - I enjoy working and I personally need to be kept busy with things more stimulating than small children and household tasks.

As PP pointed out, men are not expected to justify working, are they.

Good luck with the new job!

@Dozer my husband got a promotion. We both agreed he should take it and move away closer to his work. I would never have resigned otherwise.