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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to move house?

41 replies

TwatticusFinch · 21/12/2019 14:42

Our family is me, DH and DS. Not planning any more DC. DS is 1 year old. Our top budget is currently around £425k although we might be able to afford more in the long run (especially if DH finds a job when DS goes to school - he is currently a SAHD).

Current house:

  • 3 bedrooms, worth about £300k.
  • Built about 15 years ago.
  • Well-insulated (EPC B) but gets a bit too hot in the summer.
  • In a slightly run-down area of town.
  • 45 minutes' walk to my work, an hour's walk to town (neither me nor DH drive). I've tried getting the bus but as there is a walk each end it actually only saves about 5 minutes.
  • Local schools require improvement. The infants normally has a good rating but has slipped down this year although is expected to go back up to good. The juniors school that it feeds into though still needs a lot of work although it used to be in special measures so it has improved.
  • Crappy conservatory at the back. I think the house would be a lot nicer if we replaced the conservatory with an open-plan extension and that would turn it into a 4-bed house but we know that would cause a lot of mess and could be difficult as no rear access (and we'd need to remove the conservatory too as the foundations are probably too shallow). We've thought about insulating the conservatory roof but it's not well built (eg slugs come in through gaps in the walls when it rains 😱).
  • DH has pointed out that we'd have to be careful doing major improvements as the ceiling price for the area is not very high. I'm disappointed that this means I can't make the house as nice as I want in the long-term.
  • Private parking space outside (although as above neither of us drives right now. I medically cannot drive. DH might drive again one day).
  • The worst thing is that it's a town house with a living room on the first floor which overlooks the council estate which is behind the house. Those building are unfortunately a bit ugly so it's not a nice view.

I'd quite like to move within the next couple of years, before DS starts schools. I am particularly keen on either:

Option A:

  • Some houses about 10 minutes's walk away. Still not a great area generally, but they have overlook a wood at the front and a park behind so I think they are a bit special. Lovely views out of every window
  • They are Victorian though so might be structural issues and cold in the winter. Current house is v low maintenance by comparison.
  • Price about £350k at the moment.
  • About 10 minutes closer to my work and town (30/50 minutes respectively).
  • Same slightly crappy schools as current house though.
  • Garages at the back (there is an access road for the garages in between the houses and the park).
  • I suppose the area might eventually improve, especially if they reopen the train station 5 minutes' walk from these houses (15 mins' from current house) that closed in the 60s. MP and local council are talking about this, but have been discussing it for around a decade now.

Option B

  • Nice "posher" area with good schools
  • Only 20 minutes' walk to work, 30 minutes' to town.
  • Prices are more expensive, generally £375k-500k depending on which road and house.
  • Most houses are Victorian terraces so probably no private parking and more upkeep/heating bills.
  • Probably wouldn't be able to afford a house in this area with views (there is one road with lovely views on one side but the houses are around £500k).

I feel I have definitely fallen out of love with our current house. I really liked the conservatory with views of the garden but we never use it now because it is too hot in the summer, too cold in the winter and too noisy when it rains. I don't think I would have bought the house if I'd realised we would have to be in the upstairs living room all the time. I like to sit and watch the birds at our bird feeder whilst the TV's on but all I can see from the living room upstairs is the roof of the house behind ours.

DH doesn't want to move. He did seem extremely keen on an Option A house and he convinced me to put an offer in even though I was nervous about the survey, but our offer was rejected in favour of some first time buyers and now DH says he doesn't want to live in an old house again. He doesn't seem keen to extend our current one either though.

My mum has told me that we should move and the sooner the better to get a better class of neighbours 🤷‍♀️ She is a bit of a snob but maybe she has a point. The council estate behind our house does usually smell strongly of weed and there are those laughing gas canisters left on a lot of roads nearby (although these seem to be common in many places nowadays). We are also just down the road from a large house which has about 90 residents, many of whom are recently released from prison. The owners was supposed to be rehabilitating but the council have taken funding off them for not doing a good job.

AIBU to want to move? If not, would you pick option A or option B.

OP posts:
Strongmummy · 21/12/2019 14:56

Sounds like you hate where you are so just move.

Strongmummy · 21/12/2019 14:57

No idea on A or B

Expressedways · 21/12/2019 15:08

Option B sounds loads better because of the good schools for the kids and the shorter commute for you and DH. The parking thing sounds like a non-issue if neither of you drive and that won’t be changing in the immediate future (if your DH hasn’t even started lessons). You also sound like you hate your current area and don’t want to stay where you are.

recrudescence · 21/12/2019 15:12

As a low cost/low hassle option, have you thought about refurbishing the conservatory? Blinds, heating, better insulation and de-slugging could make it somewhere you want to use again.

viccat · 21/12/2019 15:18

Moving sounds like a good idea in general. I would not care much about "views" though - unless you live somewhere particularly picturesque, are you really going to spend much time admiring the view outside your windows?

TwatticusFinch · 21/12/2019 15:24

I don't think we can improve the conservatory in a way which would make it useable unfortunately. The dwarf walls seem badly put togIt's too badly insulated and there are annoying little things like the garden tap is inside the conservatory on what would have been the back of the house so we have to run the hose through the conservatory.

I am quite keen on Option B because I sit looking at that area out of the window at work fantasising about moving, although I do think Option A is very charming and I think DS would have a special childhood having a park with a playground right behind the house.

I think my main frustration is DH's main objection (apart from liking having a new house) is not wanting to spend an extra £100k to get somewhere nicer, but I'm the main earner and he didn't even want to move out of his flat into a house previously even though the flat was completely not child-friendly. I think he'd object but like it in the end (as he did with the previous move).

OP posts:
TwatticusFinch · 21/12/2019 15:24

*Put together, not put togIt's too

OP posts:
PlushPlush · 21/12/2019 15:39

Option B - location location location!

Or just wait till the new year, there's likely to be a load more houses coming on the market now that there's more political and economic certainty

chillykiwi · 21/12/2019 15:44

You've both got to be happy with the idea of moving, the one who is the main earner isn't the only one who gets a say if it's a proper partnership.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 21/12/2019 15:47

Moving to an Option A house sounds like a waste of time. You’re essentially paying out an extra £50k, plus legal fees and taxes, to look at a wood. Buy a picture.

Option B seems to give you a better area and access to better schools for not much more (at the lower end of the budget) than Option A. Plus if you did spend money on improving a less than stellar house in area B, you’re more likely make your money back.

Oysterbabe · 21/12/2019 15:55

Option B without a doubt. I wouldn't send my kids to a crappy school.

TwatticusFinch · 21/12/2019 16:04

You've both got to be happy with the idea of moving, the one who is the main earner isn't the only one who gets a say if it's a proper partnership.

It's more that DH's objection is just a financial one, but it's me who'll be paying the mortgage off and his perception is skewed by the fact that he can only earn about £20k a year whereas I earn £50k+ a year and could be on £60k+ in a few years. DH has low expectations and wanted us to stay in the flat we lived in before (worth about £180k) rather than move to our current house which was about £280k at the time as he thought that we didn't earn enough to move, but I've been overpaying the mortgage like mad and now we only owe about £20k more than we would have if we'd kept the flat. He has said I was right to get us to move before and I think he would eventually say the same again if we moved to somewhere better.

OP posts:
TwatticusFinch · 21/12/2019 16:06

I should also add that we moved to this area which was inconvenient for my work because it was convenient for DH's work, but then he lost that job (through no fault of his own) a few weeks before completion on our current house. It doesn't feel like we have a reason to live in this area anymore and I only agreed to this area to make things easy for him.

OP posts:
Doubletrouble99 · 21/12/2019 16:16

Are there any areas with nice but newer houses that your DH might prefer which have less maintenance and running costs? Perhaps in the New year have a look then.
But I certainly wouldn't have gone for A at all.

wondering7777 · 21/12/2019 17:04

Option B all the way OP! If you have the money then it’s a no brainer.

TwatticusFinch · 21/12/2019 18:10

It's interesting everyone thinks Option A is a waste of time. I thought it might be nice for DS growing up with the park and woods outside even if it's still a little bit far away from work (although 30 mins is still better than my current 40 mins commute).

The infant school has always been good other than this year and everyone expects it will be better again next year - it sounds like they were trying out new systems around the time of the inspection and it all went a bit wrong. The junior school is more of a worry, but DS wouldn't be going there for another 6 years so there's time. That area has the potential to improve a lot if they reopen the train stations so it could be a good investment. The area where our currenthouse is has potential too, but it's about 15 minutes from the proposed station site so maybe not by as much.

OP posts:
Popuppippa · 21/12/2019 18:14

Option B. No question.

Bloodybridget · 21/12/2019 18:14

A large house with 90 residents? Is that a typo?

WhoTheFuckIsGail · 21/12/2019 18:18

I'd move and go for option B. Good schools, nicer area and shorter commute are worth so much.

katewhinesalot · 21/12/2019 18:26

Option B

Or option C where it's a better area and a closer commute, but a new build to appease dh.

Toffeecakes · 21/12/2019 18:27

B without a doubt. Woodland and parks next to residential areas rarely work, childhood won’t be enhanced by either of those things. Childhood will be massively enhanced by a good school.

Didiusfalco · 21/12/2019 18:40

God, move. Sounds little you disliked both the house and the area. Your dh sounds change averse, so you just have to chivy him along. I wouldn’t underestimate how much you will end up caring about your child’s school though. Don’t make a move that will leave you needing another move in a few years.

JoJoSM2 · 21/12/2019 18:41

www.compare-school-performance.service.gov.uk/find-a-school-in-england

You can check schools there to get a better picture rather than just Osted ratings.

I’d definitely move - the sink estate next door with the smell of weed and canisters of gas sounds beyond grim.

I would also consider moving to a cheaper and nicer area - where you are sounds very expensive to me while also not being nice at all (and I live in London). If you don’t want to learn to drive, I’d pick an area with amenities and transport links. Having to walk so far sounds tedious.

averythinline · 21/12/2019 18:45

move to an area with better schools...
being nearer town is more convenient and you may not need parking in the futre..
being near park/woods not a benefit over good schools..
does DH not want to work?
I woudl possibly prioritise maybe him working/saving hard for a year so you can get the best house you can in the better location....if the schools are good it will always be easier to sell

Dinosaursdontgrowontrees · 21/12/2019 18:46

Option b without a doubt

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