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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to move house?

41 replies

TwatticusFinch · 21/12/2019 14:42

Our family is me, DH and DS. Not planning any more DC. DS is 1 year old. Our top budget is currently around £425k although we might be able to afford more in the long run (especially if DH finds a job when DS goes to school - he is currently a SAHD).

Current house:

  • 3 bedrooms, worth about £300k.
  • Built about 15 years ago.
  • Well-insulated (EPC B) but gets a bit too hot in the summer.
  • In a slightly run-down area of town.
  • 45 minutes' walk to my work, an hour's walk to town (neither me nor DH drive). I've tried getting the bus but as there is a walk each end it actually only saves about 5 minutes.
  • Local schools require improvement. The infants normally has a good rating but has slipped down this year although is expected to go back up to good. The juniors school that it feeds into though still needs a lot of work although it used to be in special measures so it has improved.
  • Crappy conservatory at the back. I think the house would be a lot nicer if we replaced the conservatory with an open-plan extension and that would turn it into a 4-bed house but we know that would cause a lot of mess and could be difficult as no rear access (and we'd need to remove the conservatory too as the foundations are probably too shallow). We've thought about insulating the conservatory roof but it's not well built (eg slugs come in through gaps in the walls when it rains 😱).
  • DH has pointed out that we'd have to be careful doing major improvements as the ceiling price for the area is not very high. I'm disappointed that this means I can't make the house as nice as I want in the long-term.
  • Private parking space outside (although as above neither of us drives right now. I medically cannot drive. DH might drive again one day).
  • The worst thing is that it's a town house with a living room on the first floor which overlooks the council estate which is behind the house. Those building are unfortunately a bit ugly so it's not a nice view.

I'd quite like to move within the next couple of years, before DS starts schools. I am particularly keen on either:

Option A:

  • Some houses about 10 minutes's walk away. Still not a great area generally, but they have overlook a wood at the front and a park behind so I think they are a bit special. Lovely views out of every window
  • They are Victorian though so might be structural issues and cold in the winter. Current house is v low maintenance by comparison.
  • Price about £350k at the moment.
  • About 10 minutes closer to my work and town (30/50 minutes respectively).
  • Same slightly crappy schools as current house though.
  • Garages at the back (there is an access road for the garages in between the houses and the park).
  • I suppose the area might eventually improve, especially if they reopen the train station 5 minutes' walk from these houses (15 mins' from current house) that closed in the 60s. MP and local council are talking about this, but have been discussing it for around a decade now.

Option B

  • Nice "posher" area with good schools
  • Only 20 minutes' walk to work, 30 minutes' to town.
  • Prices are more expensive, generally £375k-500k depending on which road and house.
  • Most houses are Victorian terraces so probably no private parking and more upkeep/heating bills.
  • Probably wouldn't be able to afford a house in this area with views (there is one road with lovely views on one side but the houses are around £500k).

I feel I have definitely fallen out of love with our current house. I really liked the conservatory with views of the garden but we never use it now because it is too hot in the summer, too cold in the winter and too noisy when it rains. I don't think I would have bought the house if I'd realised we would have to be in the upstairs living room all the time. I like to sit and watch the birds at our bird feeder whilst the TV's on but all I can see from the living room upstairs is the roof of the house behind ours.

DH doesn't want to move. He did seem extremely keen on an Option A house and he convinced me to put an offer in even though I was nervous about the survey, but our offer was rejected in favour of some first time buyers and now DH says he doesn't want to live in an old house again. He doesn't seem keen to extend our current one either though.

My mum has told me that we should move and the sooner the better to get a better class of neighbours 🤷‍♀️ She is a bit of a snob but maybe she has a point. The council estate behind our house does usually smell strongly of weed and there are those laughing gas canisters left on a lot of roads nearby (although these seem to be common in many places nowadays). We are also just down the road from a large house which has about 90 residents, many of whom are recently released from prison. The owners was supposed to be rehabilitating but the council have taken funding off them for not doing a good job.

AIBU to want to move? If not, would you pick option A or option B.

OP posts:
2019canfoff · 21/12/2019 18:48

I was in a similar situation to you and we moved house to a nicer area so we could get our DS into good schools. We knew the houses would be smaller than what we lived in but DH & I had the conversation before we had children that we would do everything in our power to give him the best. This meant moving to a better location and getting a smaller house. I was a bit upset at the time but I'm so glad we made the decision to move for our son

lisag1969 · 21/12/2019 18:52

Option B 100%. X

RandomMess · 21/12/2019 18:56

Neither of you drive easy access to town, work, DS activities as he gets older will make a huge difference to your lives especially once DH goes back to work.

Moving areas all the way!!! Research as many areas as possible, hopefully you can find a modern house in a better area.

fromnowhere · 21/12/2019 19:05

Option b, schools and commute and nicer area, surely thats the holy grail?

StillCoughingandLaughing · 21/12/2019 19:06

It's interesting everyone thinks Option A is a waste of time. I thought it might be nice for DS growing up with the park and woods outside even if it's still a little bit far away from work (although 30 mins is still better than my current 40 mins commute).

It would be nice, but nice is a bonus. If this is the biggest plus point for Option A, it’s not the right option.

MikeUniformMike · 21/12/2019 19:07

Older houses are more expensive to run.
Is there a reason neither of you drive?

Move location to one with better schools.
A better neighbourhood may be better for your son, not because of snobbish reasons, but of social mobility issues.

Tonii1985 · 21/12/2019 19:11

Option B

Lunafortheloveogod · 21/12/2019 19:15

Option B.

Rougher areas local to me with parks/woodlands are rife with break ins from people jumping fences from the woods and teens drinking/drugs/shagging in the parks n woods.. that’ll really ruin the naice view.. parks are ok for younger kids but if it’s cold/miserable/wet.. you can’t be arsed etc dragging him past a park or telling him he can’t go to it could cause a lot of tantrums too. (Watched friend try to walk her dc home the short way which passes the park.. never again)

reefedsail · 21/12/2019 19:19

Your DS will be in the 'playground' years between now and 10 (max). My DS was totally done with an adventure playground by 9 and a regular playground much earlier than that.

He'll be in the 'walk to town with mates, walk to town for a Saturday job, walk to town for a train station to uni/ a real job' years from 10 onwards.

The playground years will pass so quickly. In your position I'd future proof with the house close to town and the good schools.

JoJoSM2 · 21/12/2019 19:27

I think the park and the woods sound fantastic. But would still prefer to be 10min closer to town and 10 min walk from the park and woods.

Another website you might like to check out is police.uk if you’re looking at areas to check out crime. If you go to ‘performance, compare areas’ you’ll be able to see the overall annual stats.

Nandocushion · 21/12/2019 20:37

B without a doubt. Better area, better schools, better house values. Views are nice but not a requirement.

TwatticusFinch · 21/12/2019 20:45

A large house with 90 residents? Is that a typo?

Nope 😱 It's really big and should have had around 45 but they illegally subdivided. It seems really badly run and there have been a couple of deaths there. It's only a few minutes down the road. I probably would have said no to the our current house and maybe the whole area if I had known about it at the time of the move, although there is a good chance it might be closed and turned into a nursing home because the council have found out what the owners had done. Having said that, I haven't actually had any problems with the residents in the few years we've been living here.

OP posts:
TwatticusFinch · 21/12/2019 20:57

Actually apparently there have been 7 deaths there. That's more than a couple.

OP posts:
JoJoSM2 · 21/12/2019 21:16

Oh poor people. That’s terrible about that half way house.

Skysblue · 21/12/2019 22:05

For me the top priority would be getting you a shorter walk to town, that would change so much. Absolutely do it before school: settling in is such a pain for most kids you don’t want to do it twice if you can avoid it.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 22/12/2019 02:50

I would love to a nicer area in an instant, even if it meant a slightly smaller house. Newbuilds are always poor value and are often situated where land is cheap ie outskirts of town or just crap areas (often put in to replace old sink estates etc).

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