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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think presents should wait until Xmas day?

51 replies

StayDetermined · 21/12/2019 14:20

I’ve always done presents on Christmas Day only (the exception being unwrapped gifts of chocolate or similar), or some after Christmas Day if visits to relatives happen then, which has happened for the past two years.

MIL wants the kids to open theirs this weekend during our visit. Children are 2 and 5 and really believe in Santa. We do Santa stockings and one big present, and then rest are from the giver delivered by him, so she would still get credit for them. We live far enough away and she won’t/can’t travel to spend the day with us as FIL is too old and infirm to cope with the journey.

I want to wait. AIBU to insist on it or should I back down with grace?

OP posts:
OceanSunFish · 21/12/2019 14:22

I think YABU. The pleasure it would give her to see the presents being opened is more important than the principle of making the kids wait until Xmas day.

Sparkletastic · 21/12/2019 14:24

As long as it's clear these aren't presents from FC then let PIL have the pleasure of seeing them opening their presents. Can't have it both ways tho so can't say they are FC gifts.

Scrumptiousbears · 21/12/2019 14:25

I think you need to let them open them this weekend. You can always say they asked Santa if they could deliver themselves as they weren't around Christmas Day. They'll be too excited to care.

SquareAsABlock · 21/12/2019 14:25

You're being unreasonable. There's just no need to say Santa brings all the gifts including ones from other people, what if one year you dont see or receive these gifts until after the day? Just let MiL get to share the same enjoyment of kids opening and getting excited about gifts as you do.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 21/12/2019 14:26

I agree with the previous posters - it will give her the pleasure of seeing them open their presents, and it will give the children something new to play with, in the run-up to Christmas, which may help you keep the excitement within bounds.

TheCrookedHorse · 21/12/2019 14:26

YABU.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 21/12/2019 14:27

You can't really dictate that, OP. Presents from you can be from Santa though so the story still 'checks out'.

Pud2 · 21/12/2019 14:27

YABU. I’m sure the children won’t mind, and it will give pleasure to their grandparents.

Sirzy · 21/12/2019 14:28

Part of the joy of giving presents to children is seeing them open them and enjoy them.

MegaClutterSlut · 21/12/2019 14:30

Santa does not deliver presents from other people to your house that's completely unreasonable imo and you shouldn't get to dictate when they open gifts from other people imo so on that note YABU

Original poster
StayDetermined · 21/12/2019 14:30

On the plus side maybe if any are particularly noisy they can be left to live here... 😂

OP posts:
fuckitywhy · 21/12/2019 14:31

Jesus, seriously? Let her see them open the presents and enjoy the moments while she can.

DisplayPurposesOnly · 21/12/2019 14:31

Is your father in law so old and infirm that he may not be around next Christmas? (I'm not fond of the 'it could be his last' emotional blackmail but it does seem like it might he a legitimate consideration in this case.)

GlamGiraffe · 21/12/2019 14:31

Father Christmas left some special presents with the grandparent and they gave the kids names on (ensure they do). He must gave got the day wrong so they must be allowed to open them. Easy.
As long as they still think he delivered them theres no problem.
We used to think hed delivered presents to my grandparents house as well as our own and never questioned it, they wont either as they are very young.

Khione · 21/12/2019 14:32

Open the presents from them - didn't send them to Father Christmas in time. Rest Christmas Day. Might even give you a bit of peace for the couple of days before Christmas.

bridgetreilly · 21/12/2019 14:32

It's nothing to do with Santa, I just think that the excitement of Christmas is largely to do with waiting, so I would want my children to wait. But I couldn't get too worked up about it either way, especially at that age when opening a ton of presents all on one day is overwhelming.

Original poster
StayDetermined · 21/12/2019 14:32

I think my opinion is that we have to wait because it was how it was for me growing up. Maybe I shouldn’t inflict my childhood on my children though.

OP posts:
Original poster
StayDetermined · 21/12/2019 14:34

FIL is unfortunately very infirm. He’s 10years older than MIL and not much interested in presents being opened though.

OP posts:
SquashedOrange · 21/12/2019 14:35

They are MIL's gifts to her GC, not really anything to do with you when she gives them.

That's not how giving works.

WhereverIMayRoam · 21/12/2019 14:45

Your mil would get a lot of pleasure out of it and it won’t actually take from Christmas Day so I think you should allow it. I’d understand if it was piles of stuff from loads of relatives as imo that would be an “early Christmas” pretty much but it doesn’t sound like that’s the case here. It’s a small thing to do but will mean a lot to her.

Pfefferkuchen · 21/12/2019 14:46

MIL bought pressies for the kids, I assume kids and you bought presents for her , fine to exchange and open whenever.

The real presents from Santa won't be delivered until Christmas.

It doesn't matter one way or another. As long as MIL told you exactly what she bought and doesn't spoil YOUR presents by having duplicate or similar, it's fine.

Clangus00 · 21/12/2019 14:50

Santa shouldn’t bring presents from anyone. You should let the GP’s have the pleasure of giving the gifts and watching them being unwrapped & enjoyed.
YADBU.

RhymingRabbit3 · 21/12/2019 14:56

Those presents are from their grandparents, not from father christmas, so I dont see why it would ruin the "magic" of father christmas.

It is so enjoyable to watch young children open presents from you, so I dont think its fair to take that away from your parents in law, just because you're seeing them before Christmas instead of after. I'm always really disappointed when someone says they're saving presents for christmas so we dont get to see them opened.

OhWellThatsJustGreat · 21/12/2019 14:59

Father Christmas brings everything, but we tell dc that everyone sends presents to him as he's like the postman.
Could you say he didn't collect/get sent these because grandparents wanted them to open them there?

lifeisgoodagain · 21/12/2019 15:01

Yabu the kids can be overwhelmed by everything at once and far better going forward the Santa only brings modest stockings, saves a lot of problems later.