Kids and bloody phones ggrrrr

[DianneWhatcock]

DC (13, 10, 5) have totally ignored me all evening. just sat on their phones / devices on a separate floor to me. (5 yo hasn't got a phone she's got a tablet) while I sit watching telly like Billy no mates. I’ve asked if they want to watch a film / telly with me. Nope. Talk to them and just get grunts in return.

Sometimes I feel like they only want to know me when I’ve got something to offer ...as they seemed fairly keen to spend time with me when I took them out for a harvester earlier 😤

I sometimes wish it wasn’t a thing for kids to have phones ...once they get one i basically feel you lose them to it.

fucking you tube, tik tok and whatever other shit they go on can fuck right off

My ds is on his phone far more than I'd like...I often set a timer and when it goes off, he needs to turn the phone off.

You're not alone...I check my ds messages and he is messaging his school friends a lot...seems like they're all on it all evening judging by how often they send each other messages.

Enforce suggest a boardgames night once a week where you get snacks and all play card/boardgames, with no screens all night.

Another night to to local sports centre swimming or hire a badminton court.

5, 10 year olds, possibly 13 yr old should be told encouraged to have time off the tech, but now they are in the tech habit will need help working out what to do instead (drawing, reading, baking, cooking from scratch dinners, lego etc) and resources (books, paper /pens etc) to do it.

But also my ds is at that awkward age where he no longer really plays with toys...the weather is awful so he's not out playing football or in the park. He's never been creative so he doesn't want to sit and draw or anything. It's a real battle to find activities to fill his time, so he reverts to his phone.

They are 13 and 16. I've already set the rules for Christmas around usage. When I say it's off its off, but that goes for me too

I don't think anyone really needs a mobile, but the might make life easier, in some ways.

@formerbabe yes that's what my older ones do. constantly chatting to their school mates on WhatsApp and FaceTime. I do not know what they find to talk about 🤦‍♀️

My 13 to doesn't have a smartphone- no-one take the piss out of her. She isn't the only one with a brick phone either.

meh, my DC spend their time on the xbox, iPad, computer, VR etc after school as a wind down. We all eat together and the rest of the time enjoy doing our own thing.

We have a compulsory walk once a week. Thats about it tbh and suits us all.

Obvs we do talk at other times, but evenings we tend to suit ourselves. They are 9 and 14

DianneWhatcock

I read my ds messages...they seem to talk about nothing. Its bizarre.

Wth is a 10yo using WhatsApp and facetime? Presumably he's Y6? He sees his friends all day...

We recently bought Uno...have you played it before op? It's really good for all age groups and quite easy and addictive...we often play it in the evenings.

@formerbabe

Yep I check both the older ones messages it's absolute boring waffle 😂

@FunnysInLaJardin

Glad it ain't just my lot! Haha I'm not the only shit mother 😂

I grew up in the dark ages of the 90s and it would never have occurred to me to watch tv with my parents!

not at all Dianne just doing our best innit

The DC are doing very well at school, do loads of extra activities etc and so I have zero guilt about the time spent on tech at home

I can only comment on the 5 year old as I have a child whose just turned 6. His device use is strictly moderated - he's allowed time after school on Friday, Saturday and Sunday only, but only after 5pm for 1 hour. Pre downloaded games I'm happy with, no internet and definitely not You Tube. Is your youngest still on a device at past 9pm at night?

I work in the children's technology industry and due to being close to it, I'm more aware of the issues. I actually openly embrace the positives which come with kids interacting with technology (my son is having a Switch for Xmas) but I need to be there with strict rules so it doesn't cause problems.

I feel the same as you OP......miss the days when they enjoyed my company as much as I did theirs.

I could enforce a ban, have an argument about it, then all go to bed cross. That would be great family time 🙄

@BetterAlone

Yep ☹️

Phones aside as you have already had advice on that, but I was the same. I would have a book or even just stare into space. I don't like watching television and I am not really that chatty, so I would rather sit quietly most of the time. Plus the last thing I wanted was to be around family, I would sit in my room. A lot of the tweens I know are similar and not all have phones. It seems to change as they get older and then you have no peace again

I"m 38 by the way. I would still also rather stare at a wall than play a board game. Maybe try going out and doing something together instead

I'm a shit mother

oh fgs mumsnet is such a vipers nest calm down, tik tok would be my biggest concern tbh actually i wouldn't be comfortable with that add, my 10 year old has a phone as he walks home, he plays PlayStation afterschool with his mates, i know who hes playing with, he has alotted time on and off. i think from what you've said OP establishing time limits would be beneficial in your situation. set one night aside for movie night etc.

You made your bed. Maybe you shouldn't have bought them for them 🤷‍♀️

And a five yr old shouldn't have a fucking tablet. They should be playing with toys that help dexterity and fine motor skills, not give them neck problems and clubbed finger tips.

my 5 year old had a "fucking tablet" funnily enough they can be rather useful to some children who struggle with social comm. emotional regulation and spd. the OP doesn't say she doesn't have any toys or clubbed fingers strangely? van we just stop being so judgemental and rude everyone please.

What Staydazzling said. Christmas dress clearly affective people tonight. Seriously judgemental bunch of witches out tonight.