WWYD - buying own present

[dingledanglescarecrows]

Name changed as I don't want this linking to my other posts.

Silently fuming as DH has told me to buy my own present from the kids (we don't buy for each other). DD wanted to buy me pjs but apparently the ones she picked were OOS.

I'd be happy with a bar of chocolate to be honest, anything I don't have to go and get myself would be nice. I've spent approx £50 on him from the children.

So.... my WWYD:

A: order naice pjs, pick up some choc and some earrings I've spotted and get over it.

B: say no, you can nip to the garage, pound shop, anywhere and buy something!

C: do nothing, DD will be guaranteed to ask for why he hasn't bought me anything.

No LTBs please, he's not completely useless.

Why can't he take DD out shopping? Surely he can spare an hour.....

A

You may as well get your own gift as at least that way you'll get something nice. But tell him to give you the money for it. He's a lazy sod!

I would just tell him to stop being so lazy and take DD out shopping. My Dc love picking out gifts for people, it's a bit meaningless if you've just bought it yourself.

I'd probably do c and be fuming/very upset. I should do b because at least I'd be happy I had something.

Take dd with you, give her some money. How old is she? Old enough to "sneak" to checkout and pay herself? It's a fun game then

Insist he takes DD to choose something. He’s being a selfish prick. Have you done the other 99% of the Christmas organising?

Also buy yourself the lovely pj’s etc in the new year.

I’m a single parent so I bring DD to a quirky charity shop with loads of books, give her a runner and let her go “wild”

It’s always interesting and I love seeing what things she picks for me and why.

You could do similar on a grander scale?

A
In like buying my own presents because I have better taste than dh.
But he works crazy hard and utterly hates shopping, and is very very loving and supportive.

*tenner

How old is your dd?

If she’s a reasonable age why can’t your dh give her a £ limit, tell her what size and let her order pjs for you online

Or you order them but he can get DD to wrap the stuff, do not wrap your own gift

What’s the reason he can’t spare an hour or two to take HIS child out to get you the mother of his dc a present??

What is OOS?

Return his presents and spend the £50 on gifts for yourself.

@FrivolousPancake has a great idea!

I always buy my own, it avoids disappointment

Why don’t you buy each other presents? Doesn’t have to be much. I always think it sets a strange example to your children.

Have you bought all the presents for your DC?

How much Xmas preparation has your DH done?

I’ve got already a small present for me from DH, he joined me at the till and payed for it so it’s officially his doing now. He’s got clear instructions to get me box of chocolates for my Christmas stocking, we all are going to do some shopping over weekend. It works for us otherwise it will be constant quarrelling.

@Havaina out of stock

OP, order yourself something lovely that costs at least twice what your gifts for him cost

I would go for option A easier all round TBH!

To answer some questions:

DCs are 6 & 2. Good idea taking her shopping with me or I could send her with my mum perhaps.

OOS (out of stock) I'm assuming they've been on next as he has an account.

We've not bought each other presents since the DC came along, well we have but they been labelled from the DC.

He's ordered things online for others but to be honest I've sent him links or given him the item to look for.

I tend to buy my own gifts or go with dh.

LTB

I think the important aspect he's missing here is that he needs to teach your children how to buy for others. It's not always about the money, of course, but buying presents teaches kids about thinking about others. He needs to take them and talk to them (beforehand probably) about what you might like and why and then things like, 'hmm...what does Mummy enjoy/like to do, what colour do you think she would like better X or Y? Why?' and so on. It's important, I think, to get those thoughts in their head, that this time of year is about making others happy.

They may wish to pick out a cheap chocolate bar as they know you like it, or make something at home - he can maybe make some biscuits that they can decorate for you - whatever! But it shows that they know what you like, that they notice you. Sometimes we need to be trained in observing others and what they may like to do/eat/etc.

Besides, of course, it's a complete cop out by him and unacceptable.

I'd tell him nope, absolutely not acceptable, pull your effing finger out and find something nice to the value of approximately £50, you lazy, inconsiderate man!

This is not why I am single, believe it or not.

I don’t know why he still can’t go with her and get something.
But I think of gifts from the children as being small token gifts like chocs or socks, not £50 worth of stuff.

Exactly NoNew

Buying your own present or sending links/a list to the giver is not a present, whoever pays for it. That's just normal shopping.

The giver needs to put the thought and effort into the process and actually buy/order the item themselves and wrap it, otherwise it means very little.