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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to ask if you've ever got over a traumatic smear test?

66 replies

jenn890 · 20/12/2019 10:42

Just that, really.

I don't want to go into the detail, but I had my first smear maybe 10 or 15 years ago and it was a very traumatic experience.

Today my new doctor casually mentioned the fact I hadn't been for a recent smear and when she asked why I didn't want to have one, I just burst into tears. I couldn't control it - the thought of going through that experience again automatically triggers some very intense feelings.

I felt awful at sobbing in front of my doctor and making her feel bad for bringing it up and I did make sure I thanked her because I do of course know why she wanted to encourage me to go. But I just can't get over this association of smears with The Worst Thing Ever.

Has anyone else ever had what they consider to be a traumatic smear experience and managed to bring themselves to go back? How did you get to that place? I know most smears are supposed to be mildly unpleasant but fine, but that wasn't my experience and the logical part of my brain can't persuade the emotional part of my brain to woman up.

I have a friend right now battling cancer (different kind, but still cancer) so please don't tell me I'm being idiotic for avoiding a routine screening - I know getting a smear is where the smart money is at, but I can't control or describe what my response is. I'd love to hear from anyone who was me and has managed to get over themselves. Please.

OP posts:

PanamaPattie · 20/12/2019 12:44

You don’t need to have a smear OP. It’s an optional screening test. Just say no if you want to and get on with your life. Don’t let anyone bully or shame you into doing something you’re not completely happy with.

Buyitinbamboo · 20/12/2019 12:47

Not traumatic but my first smear I went very dizzy and sick and also had a 4 month old DD with me so it was certainly unpleasant. It took about 25 mins for me to be able to stand. Typically they didn't get enough cells so I had to go back a few months later. I scheduled this for when I was ovulating and my cervix is lower and more open. It was much much better, didn't hurt and I didn't get dizzy.

I've ready sexual health nurses tend to be better at it so maybe try that.

LadyCordeliaVorkosigan · 20/12/2019 12:55

Talk to receptionists at your surgery or sexual health clinic, explain you want a smear but are scared because of trauma, could someone recommended do it.

I was in a similar situation, terrified to have a smear, but the GP I cried on offered to do it herself if I trusted her, though it might take a bit longer as she was out of practice. With some diazepam she managed to make it a funny experience and I've been OK with efficient nurses since. Good luck.

richteasandcheese · 20/12/2019 15:24

Hello - yes, I did. I had a horrendous experience with a nurse for my first smear after a traumatic birth. When it came to rebook, the mere thought of phoning made we want to cry! The practice made it quite difficult for me to get booked in as they only had limited clinic dates with a nurse who wasnt the horrible nurse, and they were fullu booked, and the next block wouldn't be open for x amount of weeks for booking, then when I phoned back, they were all gone too.The receptionist then refused to book me an appointment with a gp to do it, until I started howling and demanded to speak to someone who might actually want to help - got the practice manager who booked me in with my lovely gp without protest. Said lovely gp was reassuring and efficient - and said she would do them from now on. Beta blockers might help you if you get that horrible teary panic feeling

Jupiters · 20/12/2019 15:29

I've had a traumatic experience and even the thought of having another one makes me cry. I have no words of advice, but you're not alone in this.

ShristmasChopper · 20/12/2019 15:42

I'm late 40s and had many smears over the years.
3 years ago I went along for my routine smear after my call up for it without much thought. Never liked them much but always thought it's all done and dusted in 5 minutes so grit your teeth and what on wirh it. But 3 years ago as u sat waiting to go in I started to feel a bit panicky and tearful. Got a tripod myself and went in and got undressed. At which point I had a full on melt down out if nowhere. Absolutely sobbing and panicking.
Nurse was lovely and did the deed as I said just get it done and dusted as I feared if I went home if never go back.
Absolutely No idea why I reacted like that.
I got recalled and had to go to hospital 6 weeks later for Colposcopy. Obviously as soon as I had the letter panic attack 2 started. I made an appointment to see GP and she was so kind. She prescribed me diazepam to take beforehand. It helped lots. I still was quite uurrgghh and tense but no where near in the state I was before.
Ive had to habe an internal since as well.
Lovely kind GP did it there and then (no diazepam) and i coped ok but she talked me through it and offered me several options incase i freaked out.

I'm waiting in January for my next recall to come.and am dreading it but will ask for diazepam to help me through it.
Please speak to a kind GP and get some support. Since I've been like this everyone who has dealt with me has been so understanding and kind despite the fact I have no logical reason for my reaction and reason behind my new "phobia".

ShineYourLight2 · 20/12/2019 15:52

I've had serious issues around smears. I had my appointment letter when my baby was 6 weeks old (she's now 9 months) and finally had it done on Monday! I was prescribed diazepam and it helped loads. You're definitely not alone in this. Also choose someone you are comfortable at your GP practice, I waited until I could get an appointment with a lovely nurse who made me feel so much more at ease.

Fr0g · 20/12/2019 15:58

I attended SH Clinic to have a coild removerd earlier in the year (v. painful to put in and done under gen anaesthetic along eith another procedure in the end). At my GP practice, the senior nurse had retired, so receptionist said she'd find out if newer nurses "wanted to have a go"
When removing the coil, SH doctor asked about smear tests, and when I saind didn't bother because too painful, she said that NHS could do them under local anaesthetic - may be worth asking about that?

doadeer · 20/12/2019 16:00

My first smear was horrible she couldn't get good access and it took ages. I then got abnormal results and I've had three colposcopys which showed worrying cells that they removed. If I left them they could easily have been cancerous over time.

Please please don't put it off. If they discover anything it would be so awful.

Sorry to sound scary but the whole experience really shook me

edwinbear · 20/12/2019 16:17

Yes, I was so upset I've not been able to read most of the posts on this thread. I had my first smear age 15, I've since been told this was far too young, it was very painful and upsetting. Each time I went for one afterwards, I built myself up into such a state culminating in throwing up in the nurses sink at one point.

I ended up with a prolapse after DS's birth and had to have many examinations before surgery and again afterwards to check on my healing, these were horrific and I was often in tears.

I was called a few months back for my smear and burst into tears when I got into the room, I explained to the nurse how terrified I was and she was AMAZING. She was so kind and careful, took her time, asked if I would feel happier inserting the plastic (much better than metal) speculum myself (no thanks but I appreciated the offer). I honestly hardly felt it and feel 'cured' of my anxiety. Speak to the nurse and explain your fears, I'm sure she will do everything to help.

TheDarkPassenger · 20/12/2019 16:32

I’ve just had my first smear after an extremely traumatic incident with an infected coil that ripped my uterus. The woman was so lovely after I explained and she let me lay there for a while after because I’m a fainter! I’m fine again now and would have another tomorrow.

Would never have another coil. I’m glad I’ve had my children already because that fucker has ruined my reproductive system

Ozzie9523 · 20/12/2019 16:45

I had an awful one once and cried. And completely painless ones afterwards. It very much depends on who the skill of who is doing it. Ask for the smallest size speculum (I hadn't realised they come in different sizes) and tell them your fears, I always do both and it's helped hugely.

Bluebutterfly90 · 20/12/2019 17:00

My first smear wasnt terrible but I took ages to book it because of my anxiety. It seemed like such a huge huge thing, and I was even more scared of not getting it done because of the health implications.
I went over it with my therapist while being treated for anxiety and managed to go for my first smear afterwards.
A few sessions with a private therapist may be beneficial if you can afford it.

EL8888 · 20/12/2019 17:06

I have. It was about 8 years ago, the nurse managed to tear my cervix as she was so rough and aggressive. Whilst being very irritable and moaning 🙄. I made an official complaint about her. That smear had to be repeated as it was contaminated by my blood (big surprise). I went somewhere different, the nurse was great and knew what she was doing

SabineUndine · 20/12/2019 17:09

I had one. I never went for another. Without going into detail, nurse was very unprofessional and when I was upset she told me I was making a fuss about nothing.

Oblomov19 · 20/12/2019 17:11

Yep. All of them. I hate them with a passion. If you haven't been affected, you can't understand/show empathy for how awful it is.

Fallpoetry · 20/12/2019 17:15

My first was fine, second was traumatic and I came away in a lot of pain and feeling afraid and violated.

It took a long time for me to try again, but it is important and help is out there. I went to my local GUM clinic and explained the situation, thinking they were probably very routine there. The woman there was incredible, let me take control of the situation and brought in another lady who held my hand and reassured me when I burst into tears half way through. I must have seemed ridiculous, sobbing my heart out when there was absolutely nothing wrong with the procedure, but they were so kind to me about it.

I won't lie, it still felt a little bit painful because I tensed up so much (she had to pause briefly while I relaxed) but psychologically it was much better. I still wouldn't look forward to it, but I am not frightened of my next one at all now.

Please, speak to a medical professional about your options. You aren't the only woman to feel like this and there will be a way to move forward.

HandsOffMyRights · 20/12/2019 17:18

No.
My first smear at 17 left me traumatised and bleeding (male GP)

I've managed a couple of smears but my body shuts off and the last time it was unsuccesful.

I'm 46.

whyismysoullost · 20/12/2019 17:18

Yes !

I went to my family GP practice. Never again ! I had an inexperienced nurse do my smear. It took her 30 minutes to find my cervix !!! Only she did not find it. The doctor has to intervene and I had to face another 10 minutes of prodding, pulling. Urgh.

At my sexual health practice I bet they would have done this within 5 minutes. It's a shame they don't do smears at sexual health clinics

SinkGirl · 20/12/2019 17:20

Yes, although it wasn’t a smear - it was two attempts at a Mirena coil removal. I have endometriosis which took ten years to diagnose and I can’t count the number of internals, swabs and smears I’ve had over the years. But when I tried to get my Mirena removed, they couldn’t get it out - I was referred to have it done under sedation but they didn’t sedate me and the doctor doing it gave no shits about the fact I was in agony and terrified.

I was seriously traumatised, to the point I had to request a c section when I got pregnant as I couldn’t cope with the thought of any doctor anywhere near that part of my body.

My GP mentioned last year that my smear was years overdue and I explained what happened. She told me to book with a specific nurse who does hers (she also finds them really painful). I rarely ever drink but prior to the smear I must admit I had a couple of glasses of wine. The nurse was amazing, asked me about my previous experiences and I can honestly say it’s the first internal I’ve ever had that wasn’t really painful.

I would ask your GP if there’s anything they can do to help you.

Marellaspirit · 20/12/2019 17:21

My first smear was extremely traumatic, I was very nervous and the nurse wasn't able to do it. I had to go back a week later for my GP and a HCA to do it so in my head I'd built it up so much I was in a bit of a state. The GP really struggled and it hurt a lot, and I bled heavily for days afterwards. I wasn't looking forward to my next one, however I thought I couldn't possibly be any worse. The nurse this time put me right at ease and I hardly felt a thing. I can't totally understand why people avoid them.

Daisy169 · 20/12/2019 17:21

My first (and only) smear test was awful. I was 4 months post partum and the scar tissue from my 2nd degree tear was "red and inflamed" according to the nurse who checked for me afterwards. The actual procedure was performed by a trainee, who I didn't know would be doing it until she spoke from down there and it was very painful. Fortunately haven't been called back since but I'm dreading it. Will definitely be making use of my hypnobirthing breathing!

QuestionableMushroom · 20/12/2019 20:21

Hi @jenn890

I’m really sorry that you went through something so horrible and it’s affected you so much and for so long.

I’m a smear taker (am a practice nurse) and I have women who come for smears who have been through some really traumatic stuff and, like yourself, find this really hard. I don’t know if you have a nurse at your surgery who you know/like? But I’m always happy to book out extra time for women who want to come in and talk through how they feel/how they want me to carry out the test, be that on multiple separate visits or one longer one, whatever suits the woman.
I’ve had women insert their own speculums when they prefer that I have no physical contact with their body (apart from the sample brush on the cervix).

If you feel that a smear is something that you’re building up to attend for then it might be an idea to book to see a nurse just for a chat, with no pressure of having the sample taken. I view these appointments as completely patient led, I will do everything I can to make it as positive or as least traumatic for the woman as possible.

Counselling might be an option, or maybe medication prescribed by the GP for you to take before you have your test done.

I hope you find a way x

madamedesevigne · 20/12/2019 20:34

I had psychotherapy over a couple of years and also had psychosexual support from a charity (My Body Back) which helped with the physical reaction. It’ll never be my favourite thing to do but I’ve had two successfully now and the last one, done by my GP who I trust, was so much easier than the first. I still cried though! I hope the third will be easier still.

Good luck, OP - I hear you on the logical vs emotional thing, if you’re anything like me it’s a deep seated aversion and just telling yourself it’s ok really doesn’t work.

Cassie124 · 20/12/2019 20:45

I also had an awful first smear due to vaginismus, the nurse ended up giving up without completing it as I was bleeding too much for her to collect the sample. I avoided them for 5 years before breaking down in front of my gp when he asked about them, he arranged for me to have the next one done in the gynaecological area of the local hospital under valium ( I think a pp also mentioned this) and for a course of counselling at relate, which was really helpful. I still find them difficult, but nowhere near as painful as they used to be, if either of these would help?

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