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Original poster

Is it okay to miss work to say final goodbye to Aunt?

31 replies

montmatre · 20/12/2019 09:14

My Aunt has very bravely been battling breast cancer for several years but unfortunately I was informed last night that her time has come and now is the time to say goodbye. Is it acceptable for me to miss work for this?

First job so not sure what is acceptable

OP posts:
LunasOrchid · 20/12/2019 09:16

Acceptable or not, I wouldn't let a job prevent me from saying goodbye to someone I loved on last time Flowers

lostelephant · 20/12/2019 09:16

Go see your aunt, jobs are replaceable and especially so with it being your first job. Any good employer would understand.

Flowers
LunasOrchid · 20/12/2019 09:16

*one last time

GrannyBags · 20/12/2019 09:17

Will depend on your job/company as all have different levels of personal leave. Can you speak to the boss or someone in HR? Sorry for your loss.

Freddiefox · 20/12/2019 09:18

Of course it is, and if you have an inkling it will be a problem ring in sick

Trumpleton · 20/12/2019 09:18

Yes of course go and see her. Your employer should be sympathetic. This is more important than work. Flowers

JuneSpoon · 20/12/2019 09:19

Oh my God absolutely go. No job is important enough to miss saying goodbye. You will remember in years to come the last moments with your aunt. It would be awful if your memory was not wanting to take the day off.
Be warned, depending on your work place they might not be happy with you. Doesn't matter. Go anyway.

JuneSpoon · 20/12/2019 09:20

To be clear, even if they do not give you the day, take it anyway

ASandwichNamedKevin · 20/12/2019 09:20

You will have many more days to work and only one chance to say goodbye to your aunt.
As Freddie says, phone in sick if need be.
Depending on your job you could do the work later.

Lumene · 20/12/2019 09:22

No question I would go. If the job says no it’s the wrong job.

ImFreeToDoWhatIWant · 20/12/2019 09:23

Speak to your workplace, tell them the circumstances, offer to take as leave or to make up time at a later date. They'll probably let you go anyway without conditions. But be very careful about just walking out altogether if they make noises about nit wanting you to go. Know and be comfortable with the consequences you might face.

Pilot12 · 20/12/2019 09:23

Yes of course. At worst they'll make you take it as a day out of your holiday or a day unpaid. I can't imagine that any Boss would be so cold hearted as to say no.

Original poster
montmatre · 20/12/2019 09:34

I've tried ringing my boss but he's currently on the Eurostar - what should the email contain? Sorry, it's vry hard to think straight right now.

OP posts:
Christmasgravy · 20/12/2019 09:34

Yes. Speak to your boss or HR.
Tell them that you will not be in work because you are visiting your Aunt who in the last stages of palliative care.

Unless you work for the worst company ever, I can't see there being a problem.

Dozer · 20/12/2019 09:37

Sorry about your aunt. Yes, take a day unplanned annual leave.

Many people dislike the tropes of “brave” and “battling” about illness, so would avoid them in RL.

Dozer · 20/12/2019 09:38

The email could just say,

Boss, I am having to take today as leave unexpectedly to visit my terminally ill aunt.

Youseethethingis · 20/12/2019 09:42

Take it from someone who has been there and has regrets -

Do not let a job prevent you from being there for a person you love. It is the most painful thing to live with. I can never fix it or make it right and I will regret it til my last breath.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 20/12/2019 09:43

Dear Boss

I've just heard that my aunt, who has terminal cancer, is now very close to the end, therefore I'm taking today as emergency leave to see her and say goodbye.

I'll be contactable by phone until if you need to check anything work-related.

I apologise for letting you know by email - I know that isn't the ideal process but I've been unable to catch you by phone, I'm presuming that's because you're on the Eurostar at the moment.

Montmarte

Christmasgravy · 20/12/2019 09:44

Dear Boss,

Unfortunately I will be unable to attend work today.

I have been told that my Aunt is in the late stages of palliative care.

I hope you understand that I need to be with her and my family at this very difficult time.

Yours faithfully...

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 20/12/2019 09:44

Give the office a quick ring too, just so that someone there knows not to expect you.

MereDintofPandiculation · 20/12/2019 09:45

Also include something to say how close you are to your aunt and what a big part of your life she is. It would be less acceptable to take a day off to say goodbye to someone you saw only once every 5 or 10 years.

Christmasgravy · 20/12/2019 09:45

Lonny Your e-mail is perfect!

MereDintofPandiculation · 20/12/2019 09:46

... by which I mean, if your boss isn't close to their aunts and uncles, they may not understand why this matters to you.

KaptenKrusty · 20/12/2019 09:50

I had this with my gran weeks into new job - I just said sorry but I need to jump on a flight ASAP and get to my dying grandmother - il call later and update you! and literally ran out the door ! Don’t worry - just be where you need to be!

Email should just say sorry but I won’t be in today, My aunt is dying and I need to be with her and my family. Il be in touch later to update you.

Thanks

Devereux1 · 20/12/2019 09:54

Yes, a million times yes. Go. Make your Aunt the priority. Go, go go! Flowers