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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not understand the angst about Christmas Day when we know it occurs every December

49 replies

TheOliphantintheRoom · 20/12/2019 08:00

We've had 12 months to prepare for it. On line shopping for gifts and food makes it a breeze.

We don't have to wrap every present. Or any of them. Or send Xmas cards.

If you don't have the culinary skills to cook a Christmas roast (or like me, can't be bothered) then delegate it to someone who enjoys it or to M&S.

Say no to social occasions we don't fancy.

Pin a bit of tinsel on any old jumper for Xmas jumper day.

Don't bother about making memories with special experiences - the kids won't remember them.

Some people have genuine reasons to be stressed at Xmas - lack of money, loss of loved ones, illness. If you're not one of them then don't be an Xmas drama llama.

Love from Aunty Oliphant

OP posts:
churchandstate · 20/12/2019 08:04

Well, it’s lovely to have such a sympathetic thread on a Friday morning. 🙄

OldEvilOwl · 20/12/2019 08:04

So don't bother making an effort with anything and the kids won't remember anyway? How miserable

Tombliwho · 20/12/2019 08:06

🙄🙄

scaffold · 20/12/2019 08:07

You really don't understand ?

Do you have no RL friends/family? And are you new to online communities? Have you really never come across people who have different factors in their lives?

Or do you understand perfectly well, but just lack sympathy for people who don't do things just like you do?

Skyejuly · 20/12/2019 08:08

I do not think it needs to be the massive stress it has turnt into!

JacquesHammer · 20/12/2019 08:10

This is yet another one of those tiresome threads where the OP purports to not understand the most basic of concepts when in reality it’s just a thinly veiled attempt to show just how superior they are.

Foslady · 20/12/2019 08:11

Don't bother about making memories with special experiences - the kids won't remember them.

Well dd does - making reindeer food and handing out little envelopes of it out at Christingle, waving a sparkler to let Santa know she’s going to bed, putting the tree up together, painting special baubles for Grandpa and a friend who had a particular interest (and were genuinely appreciated)......special experiences don’t have to mean spending shitloads.......

ScribblyGum · 20/12/2019 08:13

Put your empathy boots on OP and spend an hour reading active convos, then you might understand.

LillyBugg · 20/12/2019 08:13

Whilst I agree there is no need to stress I absolutely disagree with this statement...

Don't bother about making memories with special experiences - the kids won't remember them.

The special experiences don't have to cost much. I certainly remember plenty as a child. Even just driving around after dinner to look at Christmas lights.

Don't know what rattled your cage this morning OP but maybe have a coffee and a mince pie to calm down?!

TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 20/12/2019 08:14

I do tend to agree with the OP I'm afraid, my DM is driving us up the wall with all the Christmas organising she's faffing around with. My parents don't have many to buy for, aren't having guests staying and are going to a relatives for the day. I just don't understand all the stress and faffing!

TheGriffle · 20/12/2019 08:15

Aren’t you full of the joys of Christmas this morning!

Parker231 · 20/12/2019 08:16

It doesn’t have to be stressful but why wouldn’t you want to create a Christmas for everyone to enjoy?

I’ve done no food shopping - DH is in charge there but am very much looking to a special meal with our DC’s and all the family.

Original poster
TheOliphantintheRoom · 20/12/2019 08:17

special experiences don’t have to mean spending shitloads exactly @Foslady but the things you refer to are not the special experiences I'm referring to. They're just relaxed, fun stuff - nothing to get stressed about.

OP posts:
NobJobWinker · 20/12/2019 08:19

Oh do f*ck off OP

Yes xmas is every bloody year. I don't want it ruining the rest of the year as well as December if that's ok with you?

'Delegate' cooking the dinner... if only Hmm

YappityYapYap · 20/12/2019 08:19

Sorry I didn't realise that I had to be in a certain group of people to be stressed! It's not just about Christmas though is it? It's work being busy and trying to get everything done before you go off, every member of the family getting ill for what seems like weeks, yes you do and should wrap presents for children and no none of us really want a Christmas dinner that was bought in October then frozen and resurrected back to life for Christmas day! It is a stress for most people. Is it affecting your life?

lazylinguist · 20/12/2019 08:19

I'm with the OP. I guess the 'What's the problem - you've had 12 months' might come across as a bit goady, but nothing she said suggests she thinks she's superior at doing Christmas. Lots of people, particularly women (whatever their family situation) get so bogged down by the weight of expectation about Christmas. There's nothing wrong or unkind about reminding people that they don't actually have to do every last bit of it the way they think everybody expects them to.

UtuNorantiPralatongsThirdEye · 20/12/2019 08:20

Yanbu, people do like to martyr themselves.

Original poster
TheOliphantintheRoom · 20/12/2019 08:41

It doesn’t have to be stressful but why wouldn’t you want to create a Christmas for everyone to enjoy?

I do @Parker231. We love Xmas and have a great time without the angst mostly

OP posts:
Foslady · 20/12/2019 08:42

Those experiences I did might not be what you meant - but it still takes time which is also in short supply, but worth every moment.
Agree don’t stress, but at the same time you can still make it special. And at the end of the day remember that the day whatever happens you did your best to try and make a good day for everyone

ThreeAnkleBiters · 20/12/2019 08:44

I remember special Christmas memories from bring a kid!

turnthebiglightoff · 20/12/2019 08:48

Well aren't you a joy OP?

Original poster
TheOliphantintheRoom · 20/12/2019 09:12

Well aren't you a joy OP?

Well, I'm not stressed out of my mind about a festive occasion which I will thoroughly enjoy because I refuse to be a Mumsnet martyr. Try it next year Xmas Smile

OP posts:
Alwaysrainsonme · 20/12/2019 09:15

Don't bother about making memories with special experiences - the kids won't remember them.

Your poor kids Sad

AgeShallNotWitherHer · 20/12/2019 09:21

OP is right , (IMHO) Grin
This year - and last to some extent - we have stopped all the faff. No presents, no tree, no "have to". We will just enjoy the holiday.

Christmas used to be hell. I remember my mother almost having a nervous breakdown over all she had to do. And when my kids were young it was a nightmare. I dreaded it. Now we are all happier.

If I understand her, OP is not saying "be miserable" she is saying no need to work yourself up into a state of stress because you think that you "have to" do so many things which really, in the scheme of things, don't matter.

Singlebutmarried · 20/12/2019 09:26

Blimey

I can see your point, and we do do a lot. But there’s no stress here. We do some of the same thing each year, sometimes a bit different. I was surprised when DD remembered handing out Christmas biscuits to the neighbours when she was 2 and asked to do it again the following year.

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