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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sad about retiring today.

60 replies

Soontobe60 · 20/12/2019 05:37

Today I retire. I've been planning this for 18 months and was so looking forward to it. But I suddenly feel so sad about it. I'll miss my colleagues, miss the routine, miss the children I teach. I seem to have fallen into a pit of depression overnight. I think if I could, I'd rescind my resignation and stay working! Are there any other retirees out there that felt the same way? AIBU to feel this way?

OP posts:
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 20/12/2019 05:38

Change is always scary.

Enjoy the change in pace and just remember - if after a few weeks you miss working there is always volunteering.

Teagoanngoanngoann · 20/12/2019 05:48

I had to give up work due to ill health. I found it difficult at first too. I really missed the children and when i popped in to see everyone they were always so busy in class or dealing with issues and i felt i was disturbing them. But i can honestly say it didn't take long to adjust. I now wonder how i ever found the time to work. I have a new more leisurely routine. I still go on staff nights out or to coffee mornings or the nativity etc and its nice to catch up.
Dont worry. Its perfectly normal to feel like this. Its a huge change but you will adjust. Try and focus on the reasons why you decided to retire. Set yourself new goals and enjoy your new found time for yourself. Happy retirement WineFlowers

Laska2Meryls · 20/12/2019 05:56

I retired 3 weeks ago and felt the same , and ive also been planning it for several years, . , So far I feel like I am on holiday, but am sure after Christmas I wont..
One thing I am doing is making sure that I get up before 8.30 and having a task for the day (thats easy atm so much to do) also making sure that i get out for a fast walk each day. One thing, I am already sleeping better ..
I have travelling plans and already not missing work , .. but I reckon not getting the usual pay check will feel strange.

Good luck OP. Focus on whats coming and your plans .. it does feel strange for the first week but you'll so be so busy , and. Yay !! No more bosses!! No more commute !!

MaggieAndHopey · 20/12/2019 05:57

I think if you've been looking forward to it for so long and only now feel sad, if it were me I would trust the feelings I'd had for the longer time, if you see what I mean. But it's OK to be sad! Endings are tough. In many ways you obviously love your job - and that's something to celebrate and be thankful for when you think of all the people who have to just endure their working lives.

But equally, you say you've been looking forward to this for 18 months and have been making lots of exciting plans. Worst comes to worst, if after a few months it turns out you hate being retired you could always do supply teaching!

Laska2Meryls · 20/12/2019 06:05

I was sad , also apprehensive about going in for my last day, .. clearing my desk handing back my laptop and phone and keycard, and then walking down the stairs and driving home that last day wad so odd.. As was getting up the next day..
But already its not..
Its amazing how already I feel less stressed, but I did plan carefully to make sure that I had money in place, ... It sounds like you have also..
Congratulations on retiring Flowers.. it will be great Smile

Powerplant · 20/12/2019 06:13

I will be retiring in a couple of months time and can’t wait. I know I will miss my colleagues and routine of my working day however I won’t miss my 14 hour shifts as a nurse. What I worry about is losing my sense of self worth and what I contribute to society. I think if you stayed on, after a few months you would be considering retirement again. I plan to continue to learn new things or sign up to a night school or maybe volunteer. Enjoy your last day and think about all those young people whose lives you have made a difference to💐

Original poster
Soontobe60 · 20/12/2019 07:16

@Powerplant
That's exactly how I feel, so much of me is tied up in teaching that I'm scared I'll lose myself.
I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling this way. That makes me feel a whole lot better!

OP posts:
Marylou2 · 20/12/2019 07:35

I hope you have a happy retirement. I think it's totally understandable to be sad/unsure about such a life change. Perhaps it will seem much better on the cold January morning that everyone returns to school and you don't have to. Both my parents were teachers and my Dad "retired" in the July and went straight back to his old school as a Supply teacher in the September. Entirely his choice, not based on financial need. Enjoy your retirement.

SerenDippitty · 20/12/2019 07:46

I retired at the end of May. It all happened quite quickly as it was a voluntary early exit scheme. I did feel very anxious about it, was worried that I’d miss the daily social contact and the routine, but I didn’t. I’m loving my new life. I don’t regret it.

It’s normal to feel anxious and emotional about such a big life change. Remember there is always volunteering, but give yourself time to settle into your new life first.

barkingfly · 20/12/2019 07:48

Six months retired here and I love it! You be here soon.

vivacian · 20/12/2019 08:26

I'm scared I'll lose myself.

Perhaps you’ll find yourself? Would you consider counselling?

brittabot · 20/12/2019 08:29

You will create new routines and a new life for yourself. Please consider volunteering for Homestart or a similar charity - you will have such a valuable wealth of experience from your teaching and you can help families that are struggling.

AuntieMarys · 20/12/2019 08:36

I retired 2 years ago and love it! Fitter than I've ever been, and busy doing things I want to do. Enjoy!!

minesagin37 · 20/12/2019 08:40

God I dream about the day I can retire and the day my husband can retire from his stressful teaching job. Humans we are never happy are we?

dimsum123 · 20/12/2019 08:51

I'm always looking forward to retiring. But I can imagine the actual day it happens being quite sad and scary.

Make a daily plan/timetable for yourself for after Christmas, join some clubs classes volunteer.

JoyceJames · 20/12/2019 09:02

You could volunteer or use your skills on the board of a local organisation. You could get a totally unrelated part time job or teach from home one or two shorter day's a week. Or even do a bit of supply on occasion.

You could do a garden design course or enrol on one of those e-learning sites where you can take a university course for free. Or learn a foreign language or do Airbnb part time.

You could join a couple of fitness classes.

You could join a young people's mentoring scheme.

I think you'll take 6 months -even a year to get to grips with a productive retirement, but I'm sure you will.

Oldbutstillgotit · 20/12/2019 09:07

I retired a year ago. I had been looking forward to it for months but my last day was strange . Lots of gifts, cards and good wishes then I left ! DH and DC organised a meal later but I was in a daze! However the next morning the joy of no alarm !
One year in I feel less stressed , do lots socially and am starting a volunteering job in the New Year . Enjoy !!

MsMellivora · 20/12/2019 10:11

The people I know who enjoy their retirements the most do some voluntary work.

One is a volunteer for English heritage and also runs a group for people with MH issues. So that’s two days a week. Another works at food projects for people on low incomes a couple of days a week and also goes in to a school to listen to children read.

Some people also take classes, I have taken an art class recently which I really enjoyed.

Ellisandra · 20/12/2019 10:14

You’re in a great position because your job is very easy to volunteer with, or you could tutor limited hours if you wanted a more gradual finish. I couldn’t do that in my job!

I think the sadness is inevitable - and so you shouldn’t let it panic you. Just let yourself feel it, then come through it.

dontmentionbookclub · 20/12/2019 10:20

I've just retired from teaching as well, though I had recently cut down and cut down my hours until it was almost nothing, but I know what you mean. I have things booked for the next few months which I'm trying to look forward to, but it's odd to leave everything that has meant so much for so many years. It's also a dark and dismal time of year to have more time on your hands, so be kind to yourself and don't expect too much. What I'm trying to do is just do stuff now that I really want to do, so I'm actually not using my skills and experience to volunteer at a school and I'm not offering my services to tutor anyone, I'm not joining a charity teaching programme anywhere - I'm looking at what would be different for me and what excites me, not more of the same. I'm being a bit selfish, at least for a while...

Mishappening · 20/12/2019 10:26

Oh please don't feel negatively about this wonderful moment in your life! I can honestly say that I have not missed work at all and enjoy the freedom that retirement brings. Your teaching skills can be transferred to lots of activities and you will become a valued member of the community. Here is what I do: sing with a choral society, design their publicity and programmes, run a community choir, organise concerts and a village arts festival, belong to a book club, run the village library, go out to lunch with a group of friends, belong to a village help group, I am a school governor, pick GC up from school 2 days a week, babysit - |I could go on.

It is a whole new and happier life!

Enjoy!

EddieVeddersfoxymop · 20/12/2019 10:26

TA here. Most of my retiring teaching colleagues take some time out then come back as supply! Might be an idea....no planning, no responsibility for progress but a hugely rewarding role that brings in a few extra pennies.

Mishappening · 20/12/2019 10:27

Oh - and visit OH in his nursing home - that was not planned; it is just how life has fallen for us.

Mintjulia · 20/12/2019 10:29

My dsis felt exactly the same. She had six months off, then started helping out with reading practice. Now she lives 300 yards from the village primary and is their first call when they need a supply teacher. She does 3 or 4 days a month and loves it Smile

scaryteacher · 20/12/2019 10:34

Dh retired at the beginning of December at 58. He is enjoying life, sorting out the house, as retirement meant moving back to UK from Brussels, unpacking and generally being less stressed. He is sleeping better, and has lost that grey tinge he had from stress and fatigue. He is awake in the evening, whereas he used to get home at 1930, eat, then fall asleep on the sofa by 2130, then go to bed and leave the house by 0700. I have my husband back.

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