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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sad about retiring today.

60 replies

Soontobe60 · 20/12/2019 05:37

Today I retire. I've been planning this for 18 months and was so looking forward to it. But I suddenly feel so sad about it. I'll miss my colleagues, miss the routine, miss the children I teach. I seem to have fallen into a pit of depression overnight. I think if I could, I'd rescind my resignation and stay working! Are there any other retirees out there that felt the same way? AIBU to feel this way?

OP posts:
Ghoulestofmums · 20/12/2019 10:36

Oh yes I do understand. I still feel the same from time to time a year after retiring. I miss being out of the swim (Without being too revealing I was in an area which is always in the news). I feel useless now. I know that is nonsense because I do voluntary work and enjoy being with DH every day but it is a struggle.I think it’s getting easier but last week I went shopping to the city I work in and surprise myself by being tearful when I saw my old office building. I’m sure it will get easier though.

NameChangeNugget · 20/12/2019 10:42

Totally get it, it’s change.

However, you have a massive blank canvass now, which you’re in charge of. Have fun and don’t look back.

Wishing you the very best of luck

Laska2Meryls · 20/12/2019 11:03

We need a 'recent retirees chat ' thread! What do you think?

I'm not ready for Gransnet yet ! (although I am a gran)

yellowallpaper · 20/12/2019 11:07

Make plans for hobbies and groups, and volunteer in the school as a children's reading partner.

Tighnabruaich · 20/12/2019 11:15

I went from full time to just three days a week, it seems manageable at the moment, though at first I didn't know what to do with the extra time off. As others have said, perhaps try volunteering?
Or look for a part-time job, will give you some structure and outside interest, plus extra income.

thetemptationofchocolate · 20/12/2019 11:26

I worried I would lose my identity, once I left my job. But now I have time for so much more that I have several new things in my life. I do some volunteering and am planning much more for next year.
I hope you will enjoy your free time, you will certainly not miss your alarm clock going off while it's dark in the mornings :)

Jinglebellissimo · 20/12/2019 11:37

I voted YABU - but only because you have the right to feel however you feel.

IME for women, retirement can be the “making” of them to some degree. Getting off that treadmill gives you more time to explore what you really Want to spend your time doing.

mummykauli7 · 20/12/2019 11:45

Definitely not unreasonable. My dad retired, went on holiday, had two months off and then went back to work part time. He was head of a department and after he retired his entire department left (they said they only stayed that long for him) he got called back with a crazy salary increase and a much better working contract. Win win win.

He was never good at sitting at home so really was one of those meant to be situations.

MsPepperPotts · 20/12/2019 11:49

I was forced to retire early due to serious health problems and I was distraught and not being able to work.
A friend of mine who was a Headteacher went back to work voluntary in her local junior school.

She's in her 70's now and still doing it. She loves it. She has no plans on stopping.
Also my BIL did similar when he retired from the Police Force he went to work part time as a School Welfare Officer 3days a week. He's has now officially retired but drives voluntary for local hospice 3days a week.

Toddlerteaplease · 20/12/2019 12:09

My mum went in as a volunteer after she retired. She loved it.

Toddlerteaplease · 20/12/2019 12:11

@Powerplant, imma nurse and it's such a huge part of my identity that I dread giving it up! Though by the time I'm
At that age, I'll probably be desperate too!

Toddlerteaplease · 20/12/2019 12:12

I thought I'd see more of my parents when they retired. Wrong! They are so busy it's difficult to pin them down!

stonebrambleboy · 20/12/2019 12:52

Don't worry OP. Retirement is great, there's so much to get involved in if you want to. There's heaps of volunteer work out there and you can make it work for you.
You haven't lost your identity, you will discover a new one. Good luck and Happy Christmas.

Powerplant · 20/12/2019 13:38

@Toddlerteaplease I know exactly what you mean I am so proud to be a nurse in the NHS but I am almost ready to give up😊 will never be 100% but it’s time for the next phase in my life and feel quite excited by it!

Laska2Meryls · 20/12/2019 13:56

Yes, it is exciting!! Smile

Laska2Meryls · 20/12/2019 13:59

..... I've just cleaned the freezer out !! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 ( That was quite exciting!!)..

No, really, I am loving not going to work already

Lellikelly26 · 20/12/2019 14:01

Perhaps you could do some supply work? You would have flexibility then

IM0GEN · 20/12/2019 14:08

A friend who is a retired teacher has a part time job organising invigilators for a large high school.

EvaHarknessRose · 20/12/2019 14:09

It's a huge transition and normal and healthy to recognise the loss and grieve. However unlike other losses this one will give you great freedom and great satisfaction looking back on a completed working life. My colleagues who struggled initially with retirement all look and feel amazing now a couple of months on. Make some nice plans.

Topseyt · 20/12/2019 14:19

It is a big life change and a big adjustment. You are bound to feel apprehensive come the day.

Schools are communities all of their own, so you will have been part of that and of course leaving friends and colleagues behind when you have known many of them for years will be hard.

On the plus side though, you can now take holidays whenever you like and at cheaper times of the year. You are no longer tied to school holidays. Get some travel plans in place early next year and enjoy.

My parents were teachers. They had never been on holiday outside of school holidays, and suddenly being able to go away on a whim during term time was a revelation to them after they had both retired.

AnFiadhRuaRua · 20/12/2019 14:21

Do a jewellery design silver smith course. Do a stain glass window course. Two of the things a retirig woman i worked with has lined up!!

AnFiadhRuaRua · 20/12/2019 14:22

YANBU though. Sorry

It is very sudden i think. One minute full time. The next, retired. 50:50 for a few years would adjust the identity and schedule

delineateddelinquent · 20/12/2019 14:26

Counselling because you’re retiring?

Getitwright · 20/12/2019 14:31

It’s the start of your new life. Embrace it, do some of one things you have always wanted to do, take in just how different life is mid week for visiting places, think about volunteering for something new (I was an EH garden volunteer for 12 years until caring duties got in the way). You will make new friends and acquaintances.
If I had been doing a Mon-Fri daytime job first thing I would have done was get a dog, two dogs! Luckily, we always did shifts so we have always had dogs throughout our lives. Exploring countryside with a well behaved and socialist dog is a joy!

Getitwright · 20/12/2019 14:32

Oops, socialised.......not socialist!