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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

if you live in a big house, do you regret the size of your morgage

254 replies

Lardlizard · 18/12/2019 23:34

Or are you glad ?

OP posts:
thatmustbenigelwiththebrie · 19/12/2019 05:35

I once rented a massive house so no mortgage obviously. I loved it when I viewed it but after a while really didn't like living there. It was a bitch to clean and heat and I didn't know what to do with all the space. Far better to live somewhere you don't rattle around in.

daisypond · 19/12/2019 05:58

I live in a small house and wish we had got a bigger mortgage so we had more assets. We remember the era of 15% interest rates, and even 6-7% was typical, so we were scared to overstretch ourselves. Also, we both work in a precarious industry where redundancy was likely at some point. As it has turned out, we would have managed fine with a bigger mortgage. But we didn’t know that at the time. Our salaries have not kept pace, so we couldn’t even afford the small house we have if starting now.

Ragwort · 19/12/2019 06:01

No, but we moved from one of the most expensive places for property to one of the cheapest in the country Grin so our house now is probably two and a half times the size of our previous home yet half the price, and we’ve long since paid off the mortgage. Although our bills are higher there is zero temptation to spend money in nice restaurants, theatres etc just spend our time going for muddy walks Grin

Scarsthelot · 19/12/2019 06:14

I didn when I was with exh we had a 5 bed massive house. It was lively, but I wasnt ever really happy. Bills, mortgage etc were expensive.

I could have afforded to keep it when we divorced. But I went to a cheaper area, 3 bed terrace with a decent garden. Out gii gs are half and my wage has increased by 40%. I pay more off my mortgage and am doing work to it.

I wont move to an expensive house again, though I could. I love having small bills.

Movinghouseatlast · 19/12/2019 06:20

I have recently tripled my mortgage at age 52! After living in a two up two down for 20 years my big house is absolute bliss.

We can cover the payments though. If it was a struggle and stressful I might feel differently.

RiddleyW · 19/12/2019 06:22

We have a pretty modest house but in an expensive area and the mortgage sometimes feels like a millstone. I’m hoping it’ll end up being an investment overall. Stretched massively to buy our first flat (100% mortgage interest only huge multiple of salary) and that decision ended up working out unbelievably well so fingers crossed.

At the moment we could sell up and but something in a cheaper area with the equity. If house prices drop enough so that’s no longer true then I’ll be a bit stressed.

puds11 · 19/12/2019 06:24

Our house isn’t big, bit it’s beautiful (listed building) and we don’t have a mortgage. DH always talks about somewhere bigger but there’s no way I’m moving from our current situation. We are beyond lucky!

Whatnowagnes · 19/12/2019 06:29

I love it. Still got enough money to live well though.

StayDetermined · 19/12/2019 06:32

We’ve got a medium sized house. 3 bed, but detached with a conservatory, drive parking for 2 cars. And it’s the best location for us.
We’ve decided to stay and be mortgage free in the next 5/7 years rather than upgrade and commit to a bigger debt.

Perrinelli81 · 19/12/2019 06:50

Do slightly regret the big house.
Mortgage itself is not so bad but the bills and maintenance are crippling and we’re in overdraft end of every month.
We don’t move in circles where everyone has big houses so sometimes if one of the kids friends are coming for the first time I feel awkward and embarrassed.
People assume that big house = lots of disposable income so I feel pressure to be very generous with family presents etc.
I also feel we need to offer to host everything because we have the most space.
I’m sure tradesman add 10% onto their quotes after they see the house.
It’s lovely having a space for everything but the mess just travels!
The garden is in a terrible state as we don’t have time to deal with it and can’t afford help with it.
The list of maintenance jobs that needs doing is miles long and I worry it’s falling into disrepair around us and we’re devaluing it.

But on the plus side - we might not be in it that much longer as I’m thinking of instigating separation in the new year and we are lucky that hopefully if it sells we would both be able to get somewhere.
Though I think big houses can take a long time to sell.

swimster01 · 19/12/2019 06:50

We live in a fairly large house (certainly bigger than we need) and have no mortgage, having paid it off a few years ago. We could have afforded a much more expensive house but wouldn't want to have the burden of the debt. No regrets on having no mortgage and pleased we didn't buy more expensive just because we could

speakout · 19/12/2019 06:55

I love my big house, but we are older and didn't need a big mortgage- most of the purchase was cash.

LakieLady · 19/12/2019 07:02

@Warmfirechocolate, that's heartbreaking. I hope you manage to make the break soon. Flowers

And this, dear readers, is why you should ever have children with someone unless you're married to them or everything's in your name.

Bluntness100 · 19/12/2019 07:05

I'm not sure you've asked the question you wish to op. I think you're really asking if people who over stretched themselves on the mortgage regret it. Irrelevant of house size.

I don't think you're asking if people who can comfortably afford it regret living in a big house, which is some of the responses you're getting.

In addition, the definition of "big" when it comes to a house is subjective. What one person classifies as big, may not be to everyone else. It may just be "big" to them.

Babynamechangerr · 19/12/2019 07:09

Sometimes I regret it but mainly not. We maxed out buying it knowing that this, was our forever home but at the moment can't invest in new furniture or do the renovation I'd like to do internally.

The amount of stamp duty we paid makes it very difficult to ever move and the pressure of the mortgage affects our career choices.

Yes to pp who assume we're much richer than we are. We live life very normally, drive an average car, shop in budget supermarkets and only have one holiday a year.

itgetshardereveryday · 19/12/2019 07:11

No, because we can afford it. We're overpaying. It should be paid off by the time we're 50.

OhTheRoses · 19/12/2019 07:35

No because we sold a substantial house in SW London to buy a very substantial house with large gardens in Surrey so we had change.

I suspect people underestimate the running costs of a bigger house and if they are maxed out with mortgage find themselves with insufficient funds. The utilities are double or triple, the council tax is high, it's too big to decorate yourself and it costs a lot more to maintain a house with 10 or more rooms than with 5 or 6. Add the gardening and the cleaning and the fact there is almost always a job that needs doing: jetwashing, pollarding, alarm service, ballcock in a cistern, etc.

And lightbulbs, changing the bloody lightbulbs is a complete pain in the arse and almost impossible to keep on top of. Oh and keys - we gave more keys than you can imagine and they have to go in a proper key box, carefully labelled.

We both work full-time, late 50s, and couldn't manage without a lot of gelp which adds to the admin.

No regrets, it's a beautiful house. Not silly big but an arts and crafts house sensitively renovated rather than executive new build.

WeAreTheWeirdosMister · 19/12/2019 07:38

We rent a massive house and cannot afford to heat it. The heating barely does anything as it's a very draughty house. I want to buy a flat now.

BookWitch · 19/12/2019 07:38

I Live in a biggish house, (4 bed, 3 reception plus box room ), no mortgage as we paid it off on previous house inheritance from MIL.
We moved to a cheaper area (Previous house was commuter belt in SE), we are now in Wales. We could have gone bigger, but I wanted to be mortgage free.
I do love it, it's an older house, so it is draughty and needs some maintenance but no real regrets.

Radardodgingninga · 19/12/2019 07:50

We were mid 40s and mortgage on our smaller home nearly paid off when we moved to a bigger house nearer schools and work and took on a 500k mortgage. Apart from the first night when neither of us slept through shock at the debt we had taken on, we have never regretted it. We love the extra space and bathrooms. We love the big receptions and terrace that make it a great party house. We love having a separate dining room and studies. We love that the DC were able to host parties and sleepovers in their teens. We love how warm and light and bright it is. We love the proximity to bars and restaurants and great public transport links. We particularly love that through scrimping and saving in other areas to allow us to make regular overpayments on the loan we paid it off after 10 years and are now mortgage free.

SJaneS48 · 19/12/2019 07:59

Not the house, I love it and like it’s quirkiness and the amount of rooms. The downside is the bloody cleaning - having a cleaner goes against DH’s socialist principles (which in reality boil down to two things, DD going to grammar and me having a cleaner). Letting your wife do all the cleaning however does not seem to go against his principles and cleaning the place is a 4-5 hour job every weekend.

BillyCongo · 19/12/2019 08:02

Depends on definition of big. Ours is large 5 bed with some land. We looked at older and listed properties but decided the maintenance would be a nightmare and we'd just have a money pit. We chose this house which isn't the prettiest but its fairly modern, double glazed, well insulated and fixtures are in decent condition. It's therefore relatively economical and just needs cosmetic work. There is a reasonable amount of land but a modest garden so again we keep on top of it ourselves. It's still a lot of work and we have a big mortgage but I don't regret it as it's a sound property in a good area.

Blackbear19 · 19/12/2019 08:03

Define big?
If I was to do it again probably not. I don't need 3 downstairs rooms. Our 4th bedroom is barely used.

My ideal house would be a 3 bedroom, big kitchen / living area and one other living room. 3 bathrooms.
We are a family of 4, kids still young.

CopperPottery · 19/12/2019 08:06

Big house, cheap area, so mortgage is quite reasonable, was the right choice for us

Namechangednorth · 19/12/2019 08:13

We bought a big house and extended it. Mortgage was wearing I must admit. Was hard not having holidays at exactly the time we really needed and wanted them. Had a stroke of luck when leaving a mortgage lender who offered us a fabulous lifetime deal to stay on a tracker which was virtually at bank base rate. Base rate collapsed shortly after so we have laid very little interest and as a result mortgage is now paid off this month

So yes, house is lovely but in hindsight we were extremely lucky and unless you have massive pay rises (which we did) you can be condemning yourself to years of money struggles