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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not pay over £1000 in rent for a studio?

91 replies

strivingtosucceed · 18/12/2019 15:33

I'm 28 and live 'at home' but pay rent and bills of about 700 for a studio while my parents live further south.

I also pay for the home internet, phone + TV license(i'm the only one watching live TV). Granted it probably takes a bit more to run the flat, I still think the amount I pay is more than generous as they couldn't let it out otherwise.

My dad has just told me he wants to take over all the house bills which he says will raise the total amount to 1200. (This is more than half of my take home.

AIBU to not want to pay that much? (That's what the voting buttons are for) but as an aside AIBU to consider moving out if they insist on my paying? It would leave the flat vacant until my siblings are back from uni. How much should older children pay to live in less than ideal positions until they've saved enough to buy?

OP posts:
WhenISnappedAndFarted · 18/12/2019 15:58

A few years back I rented a studio in London for £1000 (bills included). We're now renting a two bed flat for £1400 (no bills included). It sounds about right for where we are - also London zone 3.

Your studio flat looks really nice! Mine was an old converted garage but we did only have a week to find somewhere

I'd look around for other places if you don't want to pay it

AryaStarkWolf · 18/12/2019 15:59

If that's the case maybe you should just get a place of your own, where no one is making any demands on your time and space?

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 18/12/2019 16:00

Sorry, forgot to say YANBU to not want to pay that much but you might have to find somewhere else.

I would also point out to them that if they price you out then they'll have to get someone new in who won't be allowing them to stay there.

WireBrushAndDettolMaam · 18/12/2019 16:01

I would move.

No way would I pay full rent and all the bills for them to come and go and go as they please and Turf you onto the sofa. If you pay it all- you keep it all to yourself. The bills he is now paying is his contribution to his share of it. He doesn’t get to stop paying and still use the place.

PettyContractor · 18/12/2019 16:06

I think what OP has is much nicer than living a house-share. I would pay extra to afford it, if I could.

I would pay the full market rent (work it out from rightmove) when I'm there alone and expect a proportionate discount when other people are staying. (So if two siblings or parents, I'd only pay a third for each day they're there.) (I mean, this is what I would aim to pay, not that I'd be dictating terms.)

On top of full market rent, since I'm the one living there, I would have all bills transferred into my name, and pay them directly.

ArlenesWoodBurningStove · 18/12/2019 16:07

So essentially there are times when you, your parents and two siblings are all sleeping in one room? Rent somewhere else, your parents can get commercial rent for it instead.

InOtterNews · 18/12/2019 16:09

I shared a 2 bed flat with a friend in Zone 3 we paid £1400pcm plus bills on top between us.

Personally, 1200 seems a little steep. Do all the bills really amount to £500 (inc utilities/council tax)? If you do increase your rent are your siblings still expected to be able to stay? If the answer to either of these is yes - I would be looking to move out

MyOwnSummer · 18/12/2019 16:11

Hmm, I can see where you are coming from on this one. At the moment you have a good deal, but as you say your family come and go as they please so this is a major complicating factor.

In all honesty, I would move out as it is probably the best way to avoid ambiguous situations that could lead to possible arguments in the future. Mixing family and business never sounds like a good idea to me. They can rent the flat out to people and get full market rate for it, so it will probably be easier for them. If they want to come to London for the occasional night they can always use Air BnB or a cheap hotel.

If you want to stay and pay all the mortgage / bills then that should mean the place is "yours" - with the right to say no to visitors if you choose. That could cause problems if your family are used to being able to come and go.

Riverviews · 18/12/2019 16:15

That price is not bad for London but if I were you, I'd move out. You are lacking independence with the current set up

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 18/12/2019 16:18

So when your siblings and parents are home, there are 5 of you squashed in there together? I'd find that unbearable.

Another vote for move out and get your own place.

zucchinicourgette · 18/12/2019 16:20

So currently you’re getting a slight reduction in private rent and the trade off is that sometimes you have to give up your bed to your parents and share a sofa bed with your sibling.

The new deal you’re being offered is that you’d pay slightly more than you could rent for privately but still give up your bed etc. But you would be helping your parents out.

So the question is how much do you want to help your parents out? What would they do if you moved out? On the face of it you would be utterly reasonable to move out and do your own thing. But it’s not always that easy when it’s your family.

Caspianberg · 18/12/2019 16:21

I would move out. I have just helped sort a 2 bed flat in zone 2 for my grandparents that they rent out. It had a new kitchen, bathroom and floor/ decor 3 years ago. Has a lovely communal garden and gated secure entrance with 24 hr security. Both bedrooms double size

Its just rented for £1450 per month. That includes heating and hot water bills.
So if you flat shared in somewhere similar, £725 each per month, plus say another £100 each to cover council tax, electric and internet etc. £825. Closer I assume that the zone 3 studio, and far cheaper than £1200.

WhatTiggersDoBest · 18/12/2019 16:24

It's not £1000 in rent, though, is it? It's the bills you're having issue with. They want you to take over more bills. Those are things you are accruing like the electric. So either it's possible for you to cut back on them or it isn't, and if it isn't, then you'll have to pay those bills wherever you move.
As an aside they're out of order expecting to stay whenever they want and personally I'd find somewhere else.

Sushiroller · 18/12/2019 16:27

Yanbu.
Tell your dad you are moving out.

Let him rent it commercially and see how he likes a. Paying tax on that and b. Having to pay for hotels in London

Smelborp · 18/12/2019 16:33

I’ve said YABU because they need to cover their costs, but you are entitled to refuse and move out for sure. I think they would be cheeky to expect you to move onto the sofa when they visit whenever they like if you’re paying all the costs. I wouldn’t put up with that.

AJPTaylor · 18/12/2019 16:36

Sounds like he wants his cake and eat it.
I would find somewhere else. As pp said, he can pay tax on the commercial rent, convert the mgage to a buy to let, pay landlords insurance etc etc etc.
Nothing wrong with you paying something. Wrong if you are paying for his investment and you don't even get full use of it.
You could rent a room in a shared house for 600 a month.

Didiusfalco · 18/12/2019 16:39

This is simple. ‘Dad, I feel like it’s time for me to move on, so I will be giving a months notice’ (or whatever). Then find somewhere else. Totally reasonable, the arrangement where siblings/parents stay sounds a pain.

coconuttelegraph · 18/12/2019 16:41

I don't know anything about rents in London but it seems obvious that if it's too expensive you move to somewhere that's better value.

You're in such a specific situation that I don't see how you can find a meaningful comparison.

Cosmos45 · 18/12/2019 16:44

Personally, I would get my own place - I don't know why but I am finding it a bit eugh that your parents come and stay in the double bed and you are relegated to the "living room" which is literally just a sofa a foot away from the double bed. I think as an adult I would find this situation quite odd if it were my parents visiting on a fairly regular enough basis.

WombatChocolate · 18/12/2019 16:48

Agree it's simple - either say 'yes' and stay or 'no' and move out. Totally your choice.

It is unlikely your Dad is trying to exploit you - perhaps he now needs to fully cover costs and what he is asking are the full costs. Only you candle ise if they are expensive for the area.

Bear in mind you mind find the alternatives are even more expensive.

Once you have to pay your full way and not be subsidies end by parents, life is very expensive in London, especially if you live alone.

Is your question really about if your parents ought to be providing you with cheap accommodation? Perhaps they cloud afford it and now can't or think you've had enough years of the cheap accommodation. That's their choice and yours about if to pay what they ask.

You aren't very clear in any of this - if you pay full rent and bills will the flat be entirely yours with no siblings or parents dropping in - do you value this?

You can say yes to your Dad, negotiate with him or say no. Only you can tell for your exact area if the price is high compared to what the market price is. Only you can decide if to pay it.

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 18/12/2019 16:56

How often does everyone else stay? Do you mean that for the entire uni holidays you have your siblings staying? Isn't that about 13 weeks of the year? That massively changes how much I think you should pay for the flat! And are your parents staying monthly, weekly, or just occasionally?

Was the original idea that you living in the flat at a cheap rate would help you to save up for a deposit yourself? In which case, I can see why you weren't paying market rent/all the bills.

Original poster
strivingtosucceed · 18/12/2019 17:01

Thanks so much for the advice so far, it's been noted and I really need to sit down and determine if I do want to stay. I've wanted to move out for a while, there are places I could move that are much nearer to work for £500 with bills. I don't mind sharing a flat with someone else at all, they're the ones who want this to be a family flat.

Just to give some more info, they think it's not fair that they're essentially running two houses and want me to take over the second house as 'being an adult'. The reason I live here is that they have recently moved abroad and made a big fuss about my siblings and I having a place to stay. They only stay here if they have business in London which is usually about 2-3 times a year for 2 weeks at a time each.

They still expect to have access to the flat whenever just without paying for it and with the advantage of having me build up their equity it seems. Though they have promised to help out when I want to buy, judging from previous experience I wouldn't count those chickens before they've laid eggs themselves.

All in all, I'm visiting them this Christmas and this will inevitably come up. I'll have to put my big girl pants on and let them know exactly how I feel about the living situation.

OP posts:
Quartz2208 · 18/12/2019 17:04

I think the problem is here at the moment you are getting it at a reduced price because it comes with conditions - your siblings and parents can stay. Now they are asking you to pay more it loses its appeal

I think you say you are happy to pay for everything if it becomes your flat which means it is yours and no sharing or you move out. I wouldnt expect though to pay much less if not more at market rent

AryaStarkWolf · 18/12/2019 17:06

there are places I could move that are much nearer to work for £500 with bills

Do this.

bloody hell, sounds like you were obliging them by renting from them but now they're taking the piss.

Flamingolegs · 18/12/2019 17:21

If you are paying for the entire studio then you should have complete free reign and they can't just "pop in" when they want to - they couldn't do this if they rented it on the open market. If they want to keep the arrangement it is only right that they (parents and sibling) also contribute to the expenses.
There must be a compromise here, although I agree with pp, leave, especially if you can rent somewhere else more cheaply.