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AIBU?

Last minute Secret santa rage!!!

33 replies

SchoolMumsAreTheWorst · 18/12/2019 13:37

AIBU in thinking if you do secret santa you organise it weeks in advance (at the earliest) and give people the option to opt out.

I have 2 jobs, a weekday one and a weekend one. Weekday job haven't done as, I presumed weekend one didn't too until I went in last w/e and was told to go pick my name for ss....1) It was presumed I would be taking part and 2) I have a week to find and buy a present for someone. And 3) this person is off work on chemo so don't want to just buy some tat, I want them to think people are thinking of them and do care enough to put some thought into a present.

I'm mainly annoyed I've only got a week to think about it all.

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

95 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
40%
You are NOT being unreasonable
60%
Peridot1 · 18/12/2019 13:39

NotAnotherBunchOfFlowers is a great website for people undergoing chemo or any cancer treatment.

But YANBU!

AllergicToAMop · 18/12/2019 13:40

Week is a plenty.
Soft eye mask? Apparently it helps to calm down and relax during chemotherapy.

TheTrollFairy · 18/12/2019 13:44

Do something like a care package. Lip balm (like dr lipp or paw paw) make sure it’s non scented as smells can be quite hard. Also reusable straw (places like TK maxx sell them) and a Sherpa blanket as it’s nice and soft and chemo tends to make people feel the cold more

georgialondon · 18/12/2019 13:48

A week seems like a long time.

But they shouldn't just presume you wanted to take part.

flouncyfanny · 18/12/2019 13:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sotired2 · 18/12/2019 13:55

soft fluffy socks
puzzle books
scent free hand cream/lip balm
soft hat/scarf

mellie1806 · 18/12/2019 13:59

My mum used a stress ball when she was having her chemo as it helped with the drugs going into her hand/arm etc, and also gave her something to think about other than sitting in the ward. Could you do her a little hamper? Magazines, lip balm, etc etc would go down really well. You would make a not very nice time a little more bearable! xx

HariboLecter · 18/12/2019 14:01

My friend's dad is undergoing Chemo - he is suffering from very dry hands, so I would go for a really nice moisturising (non-scented) hand cream and/or a good quality lip balm (Palmers cocoa butter?)


For info - Our office is opt in for Secret Santa, sent out in mid November asking people to sign up by the end of Nov and drawn first of December. Then just over two weeks for people to buy their gifts before they are exchanged.

FineWordsForAPorcupine · 18/12/2019 14:11

You could just say no to being in the secret santa?

Witchend · 18/12/2019 14:13

If you do it more than a week, then people think there's loads of time and forget about it.
But you should have been given the chance to opt out.

Walkon · 18/12/2019 14:15

The moo goo range is a really lovely gift and great for dry skin that can come with chemo.

ThreeAnkleBiters · 18/12/2019 14:17

I would have thought a week was enough time but you should have had an opt out.

RhymingRabbit3 · 18/12/2019 14:22

Surely it's less than a week unless you're working and gift exchanging on Christmas day? Plus allowing time for delivery and to wrap etc I think it is far too short notice. I've got better things to be doing the weekend before Christmas than shopping for a secret Santa I didn't even want to do.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 18/12/2019 14:23

After several times of utmost hassle...

  1. When I drew an appallingly bossy, intrusive woman who was very smug saying she ALWAYS discovered exactly who had given who what for ss.... (zzzz)... When I realised I'd spent more time trying to work out what would be nice/woudnt offend/wasn't too boring... She would be foul about any of these gifts.. ... Etc etc... And I worked out I'd spent more time thinking /searching for a gift than I had on family members...

  2. when I was temping and so on very different work schedules-severak diff offices in one week... where I 'drew' (or had been put back several times before me!) the most difficult to buy for ss... And always, always, with very little time... The last time... Was at 830am for a lunchtime unwrapping... (**ck!)... So a panicked coffee break to find something 'thoughtful - for someone I don't think I'd ever spoken to......

    I now just gracefully bow out and spend the money I would have spent on people I likeGrin
MineralSpinner · 18/12/2019 14:27

Chemo gives you really dry skin. The only thing that helped was Udderly Smooth cream. Have a look at the reviews on amazon, honestly the stuff is amazing. Get a big pot of the extra care one, job done.

CoolcoolcoolcoolcoolNoDoubt · 18/12/2019 14:29

I sympathise. I came into work yesterday and had to buy something for tomorrow. I've also just found out I do need to buy for my friendship group.. urgh. Thought I was finished Envy

Notnownotneverever · 18/12/2019 14:30

YANBU but you do have the opportunity to show some extra kindness to someone who is going through a rough time so maybe just focus on that and it might make the hassle of it more bearable.

Why not buy handcream and a little card game, mini quiz pack for them to do whilst they are having the treatment or waiting for an appointment. The little quiz boxes are for sale all over the place this time of year.

SchoolMumsAreTheWorst · 18/12/2019 14:31

Hi, because I only work the weekend everyone else had drawn earlier in the week so my name had already been drawn so couldn't bow out.

Thank you for the fab suggestions. It's a male which makes it harder, I'm rubbish at buying for men lol.

OP posts:
BoomBoomsCousin · 18/12/2019 14:31

Surely it's less than a week unless you're working and gift exchanging on Christmas day?

Since OP specified this was her weekend job I would assume she was told to pick the name last weekend and will be giving the gift this weekend. She’s probably just posting now because the stress of finding the perfect gift is making her want to rant a bit.

hellsbellsmelons · 18/12/2019 14:33

I absolutely refuse to do secret santa.
I've been screwed over so many times.
I don't care who thinks I'm a 'baaaaahhhhumbug'. I will not do it!
You can refuse OP.
My last excuse was 'No way. And yes, I am a baa humbug! but do not include me'
Job done.
No-one even questions it anymore!

steff13 · 18/12/2019 14:34

People on chemo tend to get cold, so a warm blanket, or socks, or a shawl would be nice. Maybe peppermint tea for the nausea.

Julianne65 · 18/12/2019 14:36

A week is fine! You've got time to think of a really lovely present for her. Lots of great suggestions here too. I wouldn't be annoyed. Most of the people in my office Secret Santa bought their presents on the day and they had a month to think what to buy!

Pinkyyy · 18/12/2019 14:36

Why did you pick a name?

LtJudyHopps · 18/12/2019 14:36

Thank you SO much for the notanotherbunchoflowers website! Peridot1 I’ll be bookmarking that one!
I was going to suggest a really rich moisturiser (as scent free as possible)

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